


Security Authors 3: The Final Season!

by Wherever_Girl



Series: The Security Authors Saga [4]
Category: Disney's House of Mouse (Cartoon), Multi-Fandom
Genre: Action, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherever_Girl/pseuds/Wherever_Girl
Summary: New season. New characters. New villain. It's going to be one heck of a finale as the Authors and company do what they can to protect the world they live in... while managing a night-club. Meanwhile, an old enemy tries to find the secrets behind his identity.No one said growing up was ever easy.[BACK FROM HIATUS!]
Series: The Security Authors Saga [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795948
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. An Abrupt Start to the Season

**Author's Note:**

> HERE WE ARE AT LAST! THE FINAL TALE OF THIS SERIES! 
> 
> I want to give a shout-out to my friend, Elwynn, for joining the story alongside his characters; Fanatic, Tsuki, Scoobycool9, Tracker, Zane (my boyfriend), Dragongirl and other fellow-writers who have been part of this series up to this point (and hopefully onward); and for readers like you who take time to check out our stories. 
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respectful owners. The Authors own themselves and their original characters. 
> 
> Now let's get this party rolling!

_It has been so long since the team first got together._

_It had been so long since they had discovered a long forgotten mystery._

_It had been so long… since they cleaned out the fridge._

_It had been so long since their enemy had fallen…_

_Only to realize he was just a pawn in a greater scheme._

_Now…_

_It is time they met the mastermind._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was the middle of fall in the tooniverse, and in a familiar downtown district a certain popular night-club was preparing to start another night of entertainment.

( _cut to a view of The Roxbury_ )

No, no, not THAT night-club.

( _cut to a view of Club Escapade_ )

Wrong one again.

( _cut to a view of Club Penguin… covered in spiderwebs and dust_ )

That’s not even a real club! …And it’s been dead for years!

( _cut to a view of Club G.R.O.S.S_ ; _dictator for life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes give a salute)_

The House of Mouse! We’re talking about the House of Mouse! *groooaaan!* Two sentences in, and we can’t even get the location right…!

*sigh* ANYWAY…

For those of you who missed the movie, the club had undergone quite a few luxurious renovations, and was bigger, brighter, and more expensive than ever. Currently, Mickey and Oswald stood in the dining area, going over a check-list to ensure things were spiffed up. “Alright… Dining room?” Mickey asked, looking over the list.

“All the chairs and tables are spotless, and we fixed the Fanatic and Hater-shaped holes in the floor,” Oswald replied.

“Ballroom?”

“Chandeliers are shiny, and the floors are so well polished you can see your reflection,” Oswald looked down, smiling at his reflection and picking his teeth.

“Kitchen?”

“We have some cameo chefs helping out and the freezer is fully stocked--- evil robots not included.”

“Catwalk?”

“So clear not even a spider is up there.”

“Backstage?”

“Dressing rooms are well secured, janitor closet is organized, and the back door has a new lock.”

“Projector room?”

“Filled with new cartoons, and a better security monitor system.”

“VIP section?”

“Still well attached to the ceiling!”

“Bar?”

“We’ve made a list of canon alcoholics who are not to be served more than 3 drinks… and included a karaoke machine!”

“Stage?”

“Waxed and ready with a brand new screen.”

“And the front desk?”

“Daisy is ready for new autographs, and Donald is ready to use his new voice from the _Ducktales Reboot_ to help speak clearly and his anger management sessions have been going great.”

“Well, that’s about everything… except for the security guards,” Mickey scratched his head, looking around. “Where is everyone? I figured they would be here by now…”

Behind him, a tall young man with short brown hair and wearing brown cargo pants, a light brown jacket, red hoodie over a white shirt, and carrying a badass looking light-saber stood nearby. “Dude, I’ve been here for the last fifteen minutes!” he scoffed.

“Gah! Fanatic, I told you not to---! Wait… Fanatic??” Mickey gasped, turning around and finding that the young author he first hired had gone through a few changes since the hiatus.

“Whoa, I didn’t even recognize you! You’ve really grown,” Oswald replied.

“And believe me, I’m not the only one.” Fanatic looked over his shoulder. “Can we get a cool introduction to our team, please??”

“(We’re coming, we’re coming!)” came a shout. Out stepped Dragongirl, and beside her was Sky Flame, the one who had spoken… and was no longer a small cute peeping dragon, but was now in adolescence! “You can tell a lot of time has passed when the ‘cute mascot’ is now old enough to drop the f-bomb,”

“Just don’t abuse it,” Dragongirl replied. She was wearing a black, dark-blue strapped tanktop with matching sleeves that she wore on her elbows, had a robotic arm, dark-blue pants, a gray belt with pokeballs attached, a yellow crest on her left shoulder, and her blue tail, wings and horns reflected light off their scales as she walked in. She smirked at the camera. “Eat your heart out, Angelina Jolie.”

“Wow, ya’ll really spit-polished this place!” came a southern drawl, as Tracker entered; in place of her cowboy hat, she wore some animatronic bear ears on a headband, she also wore a black yukata with sage-green trims, with short sleeves and the hem just going past her hips, a matching pair of pants underneath.

Following behind her was TsukiAquaMoonCat--- formerly known as Moonlesscat. “Nice. I can’t wait to see how much mayhem it takes to demolish it,” she quipped.

“No kidding,” Scoobycool9 agreed, entering behind her.

“Gee, you really know how to look on the bright side,” Ardent said, entering next.

“You forgot about the increasing mayhem from the movie, didn’t you?” Tea, Fanatic’s girlfriend, questioned as she walked in next.

A young man with black hair, glasses, and wearing a _Beastars_ shirt while wearing a collar walked by, rolling his eyes. He was Zane--- formerly known as FF2. “Don’t listen to them, Mickey. You know we do well with damage!” he assured.

“Fixing it or causing it?” came a quip from ATF; he walked in wearing… um… a sleeveless T-shirt with a short-sleeved cover jacket, a knee-length skirt over skinny jeans, and a black beanie with a green heart on the side. He looked up at the narrator. “Take it all in, Narrator.”

Um, er… anyway… Mickey looked over the team, noticing some were absent. “Wait, I thought there were more of you guys!” Oswald questioned, noticing as well.

“Well, some of our old team either never left a PM to be included, or had other things to do. Heck, some of them even stopped reviewing! The only reason some of us are still here are because we’re good friends with at least one of the writers,” Scoobycool9 answered. “Speaking of which, where’s WG?”

“She’s on her way.” ATF answered. “In the meantime, I have a question. …What’s with that metal-detector thingamajig in the entrance?”

Everyone looked over at a tall metal archway that was placed over the door. “Oh, well… after the incident with a few villains in the last season, we had to put it up a security checkpoint.” Mickey answered.

“How on earth did you afford something like this?” Tracker questioned.

“Oh, just had a little money saved up,” Mickey closed a screen on his phone that read _Avengers Revenue._

“Does it work?” Zane asked.

“Sure! All of us have gone through it, and it didn’t scan anything wrong!” Oswald answered.

“Somehow that doesn’t reassure me,” Donald quipped, nodding over at the Security team. Tsuki shot him a glare. “Gah! See? SEE?! That just proves my point!”

“Look, here comes someone now.” Daisy pointed out.

Entering through the archway was the Persona 5 villain, Suguru Kamoshida. Upon crossing, the red light flashed and the alarm buzzed. He groaned, and the Surge Protector hologram appeared. “Random security check, sir. Just want to make sure everything is in order,” he blandly stated.

“Random my ass—you always stop me!” Kamoshida sneered.

“I don’t recall. Name?”

He rolled his eyes. “Albert Wesker.”

“NAME?”

“Kamoshida!”

“Do you have any weapons, outside refreshments, drugs, or unnecessary endorsements on you?”

“No,”

“Have you been sick or exposed to anyone who has been sick?”

“ _No_ ,”

“Are you, or have you ever been, a sponge?”

“What the…? No! Just let me go in!”

“Sir, please, if you cause a scene, I will have to ask you to leave.”

“Let him by, Surge.” Came a voice, and they watched as a short-haired blonde young woman who looked more like a 13-year-old boy wearing a dark-green jacket, T-shirt, jeans and a black cap walk in. “He’s with me,”

Surge gave her a look. “Somehow that doesn’t quite reassure me, Wherever Girl.”

“(See? He said it!)” Donald exclaimed offscreen… a punch sound-effect followed. “Ow!”

“Just let him in. He’s going to be one of our new running gags,” WG stated.

“Fine,” Surge disappeared, and WG walked with Kamoshida into the club.

“So… what do I do, again?” Kamoshida asked.

“Simple. Someone drops a pun, you hit them with a volleyball.” WG said, tossing him a volleyball.

He sighed. “And I agreed to this, _why?”_

“Because I help keep the bloodthirsty side of the P5 fandom from tearing out your intestines! …Or because you owe me for babysitting. Either one.”

“Whatever. …By the way, what the hell happened to your face?”

“What?”

“You have a black eye, a bruise on your face, and scratch marks on your neck!”

“WHAT?!” Zane zipped over. “Sweetie, what happened?! …Did Handsome Jack hire someone to attack you for your Rhack fics?”

“Huh? Oh, no not yet. I just got out of a fight. Nothing major,” WG answered with a shrug, walking over to Mickey. “So, are we ready for a new season or what?”

“Yep, just have to scope out the outdoor area,” Oswald answered.

The Security Team followed Oswald and Mickey outside. Kamoshida leaned against the wall, pondering what to do next. “…So, I heard you turned into a bunny, once.” Daisy spoke up in an attempt to start conversation. He only sighed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The outdoor area consisted of a lovely brick lanai, a large clear pond, hanging lanterns, and beautiful flowers and plants…

Of course, before you could even say, “Oooooooh,” a laser-blast shot by and hit ATF square in the chest!

“AAGGGHHH! …and I just bought this shirt!” ATF snapped, his wound healing.

“Geez, people! The chapter’s barely started! Normally stuff like this happens after 10 pages,” Fanatic remarked; he looked over, seeing that the cause of the attack was a large droid, built as big as a tank and having red optics. “Ah well, might as well bust this thing,”

The Authors leaped into action. Sky Flame and Dragongirl leaped at it, blowing fire on it and clawing at it, but didn’t so much as singe the metal; Tsuki used electricity, ice, and rock against it, but did not leave so much as a dent!

Scoobycool9 and Zane used magical attacks, but a shield seemed to deflect their attacks; Tracker tried shooting it, and when that didn’t work changed into her animatronic she-wolf state and lunged at it, only to get swatted back. Ardent used her shield, Tea used her Mew, and WG used her laser-vision, but nothing was working!

“Dang, this is one tough bot!” ATF exclaimed, opening portals in order to keep the robot’s lasers from striking the others; he tried to have it strike itself, but it seemed it was even strong against its own attacks!

The droid then transformed into a ball, and sped towards the Authors, bulldozing them over! “Ow…” they all groaned.

It transformed back into its original form, this time its arms were turned into giant scythe blades; spinning its arms, its feet turned into rocket-skates, and it shot towards Oswald and Mickey! “EEEEEP!” Both shrieked, hugging each other as the robot shot forth---

*POW!*

A powerful beam of light shot out from the side, not only blasting the rogue droid good but also making it slam into the wall! Everyone looked over.

A portal had opened, and out stepped a blue-haired young man of masculine build, wearing a yellow neckerchief and a purple hat; behind him stood someone who looked like Puggsy, but taller, had long black hair, red-yellow eyes, and yellow triangle/diamond symbols glowed on his face and arms; and finally a dark-skinned black-haired masculine young man with dog ears, a tail, tusks, and mismatched eyes.

“…Sorry we’re late. Someone opened the wrong rift and we ended up in Equestria!” The blue-haired man said, giving the dog-eared man a look.

“Hey, I told you we should have asked for direction!” He retorted.

“No you didn’t. You exclaimed, ‘DIRECTIONS ARE FOR THOSE WITHOUT A SENSE OF ADVENTURE!’ at the top of your lungs, slammed your fist on the button, and next thing you know we’re turning into talking ponies!” The Puggsy-lookalike snapped.

“…Oh. Right.”

The blue-haired man rolled his eyes. “Terrence, you just keep blasting that bot. Socks, you turn into a grendel and help him out. I’m going to get the team back on their feet,” he ordered.

“Sure thing, babe.” Terrence answered, and he and Socks charged at the droid just as it was getting back up!

WG got up, shaking the blue-haired man’s hand. “Glad you could make it, Elwynn.”

Elwynn shrugged. “Hey, thanks for inviting me. So! Shall we dent up this piece of junk?”

“We’ve tried, but none of our attacks worked!” Ardent replied, arching an eyebrow as Terrence slammed the droid into the ground. “…how the heck can Puggsy do it?!”

“Oh, _my_ Puggsy--- or Terrence as we’re calling him to decrease confusion--- is pretty much a Tier 0 Colmare… of course, in this universe, he has different abilities. Doesn’t seem like it effects his battle skills, though.”

“EAT BLUE FIRE, ASSHOLE! AH HA HA HA!” Socks exclaimed--- now being a large Border Collie-like creature with tusks and gorilla arms… and covered the robot in blue flames.

“Oooooooh,” WG said in awe, watching the fire burn.

The droid spun around until the flames were out, and then broke apart into several hovering drones, all blasting at everyone! Terrence summoned a forcefield, covering everyone. “Dammit, I was sure that would’ve beat it!” he snarled.

“So… our introduction involves us getting our asses handed to us by a rogue droid. Splendid,” Tsuki scoffed.

* _wum wum wum wum wum*_

They looked over, hearing a hum. “Um… Zane? Did you leave the TARDIS on auto-pilot?” Scoobycool9 asked.

“I didn’t bring my TARDIS…” Zane answered.

The doors opened… and out rolled a tall think man with black scruffy hair, wearing a Junpei ballcap, purple jacket, black shirt, Goofy tie, and khaki jeans--- and with a Sonic Shotgun blasted each of the drones! He looked at the others. “Well, don’t just stand there like sitting ducks! Beat ‘em while they’re down!” he called, his voice sounding like the 10th Doctor.

Quickly the Authors and company leaped into action, smashing the drones into tiny bits, lighting the bits on fire, and then sweeping up the ashes and dumping them into the toilet. “Well that was fun… but since when did Swaine become a badass??” Scoobycool9 asked.

“That’s not Swaine,” ATF replied with a grin.

“Wesley!” WG exclaimed, running over and hugging the new Time Lord. “I didn’t think you were coming!”

“Surprise, darling.” Wesley replied, hugging her back.

“Hey, hey, HEY! Hold it!” Zane replied, storming over and pulling WG back. “Wes, what did I tell you? _I’m_ the boyfriend this week!”

“Pardon me for missing my girlfriend,”

Everyone looked at WG. “…I thought you had this decided after the Halloween crack fic,” Tracker asked in suspicion.

“I couldn’t decide--- so each week they take turns,” WG replied.

“Thank goodness you’re asexual, otherwise---“ ATF began to joke… until Tsuki set him on fire. “OW! OW! I WAS KIDDING! AAAAUGH!” He then ran over and jumped into the pond.

“Um… back to business… Guys, this is Elwynn, his husband Terrence, and Socks. They’re from the Crossover Chaos universe,” WG introduced. “They’re our new recruits,”

“Well, you pretty much passed the job requirements!” Fanatic replied, shaking Terrence’s hand.

“Yep, nothing says on-the-job-training like beating the shit out of an evil robot,” Sky Flame answered.

“Question is, who sent it?” Ardent inquired.

There came giggling, and the group looked up at the brick wall, where Nowhere Chick sat; she was taller, slimmer, bustier, and wore a belly-shirt with short-shorts and her hair was done up in a ponytail. “Oh, you guys will find out soon! My new master just wanted to give you a taste of what’s to come,” she stated. “Better beef up your team--- speaking of beef… hey there, boys~” She waved at Socks and Terrence.

“Back off, bitch. I’m married!” Terrence sneered, putting his arm around Elwynn.

“And I’m already in a relationship!” Socks sneered.

“That doesn’t bother me.” NC replied--- and got blasted by WG’s laser-vision. “OW!”

“Slut,” WG scoffed, then turned to the group. “Seems like the guy who was using Tempus as a puppet finally decided to show his face.”

“So… should we just shut down the club until all this mayhem is over with?” Oswald asked.

“Who are you, Pete?!” Fanatic scoffed. “We’ve dealt with enough messed up villains before, we can handle this one no problem!”

“…Or so you think,” Plot remarked, walking by.

Everyone blinked. “Forgot about that gag for a moment. Anyway! Lets head inside,” Oswald stated.

As they entered the club, giving their new recruits a tour, Fanatic paused a bit; for a moment, his eyes turned green, and a growl rumbled in his throat. Tea stood by him, gripping his hand, and he gave her a reassuring smile, his eyes returning to normal.

They went backstage; at this moment, Walter was walking out of the dressing room---

“HOLY SHIT, IT’S WALT DISNEY!” Socks exclaimed, his tail wagging. “I haven’t seen you since the Happily Ever After lawsuit!”

“E-Excuse me…?” Walt questioned, flabbergasted.

“ _Sooooocks_ , this is a DIFFERENT UNIVERSE,” Terrence said out of the corner of his mouth.

Socks shrugged. “Hey, I’m powered by the spirit of Filmation, so I have to bring up the history of the studio!”

“Actually, it’s the ‘toonsona’ of Walt Disney.” Zane clarified. “He’s not the real-deal, just an animated replica of him.”

“…Oh. Well anyway, Walt, about that lawsuit---“ Socks began.

“LATER, Etienne!” Terrence snapped.

“Er, nice to meet you? *ahem* I heard quite the ruckus outside, Mickey. Any trouble?” Walter asked.

“Oh, you know… just the usual robot attack,” Mickey sighed.

Walter patted him on the shoulder. “Well, as long as no one was hurt.”

“I was shot in the chest!” ATF declared. “Thankfully, I can’t die.”

“Same,” Tsuki replied.

“Ditto!” Socks added.

“Seems like this introduction is a little rushed…” Ardent commented.

“Give me a break, I’ve only got a week off to get this thing started,” WG scoffed.

“So… anyone else planning on joining our little team?” Walter asked the group.

“At least two more characters, but they won’t show up until later,” ATF replied with a shrug.

“In the meantime, lets get started tracking our new enemy,” Wesley suggested, taking out a device.

“I’m way ahead of you,” Zane answered, taking out a similar device.

“I feel like something else is missing, though…” Fanatic stated, rubbing his chin.

“HEY!” came a shout as Pete stormed in. “What in the Sam Hill is going on out there?!”

“No, no, it’s not you. Something else…” Fanatic continued to ponder.

Pete rolled his eyes, turning to Mickey and Oswald. “What did your demented security team do this time?!”

“Who ya calling demented, asshole?!” Terrence snapped.

Pete turned--- then did a double-take. “Wh--- Has Puggsy been taking steroids or something?”

“El, hold me back---!”

“THESE FINE PEOPLE just helped take out a threat… so I suggest you watch what you say about them!” Walter scolded, stepping in.

Pete grumbled; he respected Walter, but man it was a pain in the ass when he sided with the nutcases—I mean authors! “Watch your ass in the halls, Narrator.” Sky Flame warned.

Peg entered just then. “Pete, leave everyone alone. Walter, Mickey, Oswald, I need to speak with you about something,” she said.

Walter, Mickey and Oswald nodded, following her. Pete turned towards the team of Authors. “Don’t think Walter will side with you yutz forever. It’ll take just one slip-up, and then you’ll be done for!” he warned.

“Dude, he’s been aware of our shenanigans for years. He’s cool with us,” ATF scoffed.

“I’m warning you! It’ll be just one slip, and when that happens, I’ll be there watching!” He crossed his arms. “And when you slip, you’ll get the slip--- the pink slip! Ha!”

“…Was that a pun?” Zane deadpanned.

“Yeah! What’s your---“

*BAM!*

A volleyball smacked Pete in the back of the head; he swayed a bit, seeing stars, before hitting the ground.

“Nice shot, Kamo!” WG called.

“Is he still alive?” Ardent asked.

“Sadly, yes.” Tsuki replied, analyzing Pete.

“Ah well. C’mon, lets go out front--- I’m expecting a pizza delivery.” Scoobycool9 replied, and the Authors went out front.

Socks, Terrence and Elwynn exchanged looks. “I think I’m gonna like it here!” Socks exclaimed.

As the team made their way outside, a few guests were starting to arrive.

“Hey, WG!” came a shout, as Dan stormed over.

“Oh look, one of our many recurring cameos,” WG pointed out. “’Sup?”

“Don’t ‘sup’ me! You owe me for last season!”

“Owe you? For what?” Tracker questioned.

“Season finale, scene one--- your blonde friend here promised me a rich girlfriend who would help with my revenge schemes, as well as doing highly violent things to the Imposter that involved nitroglycerin and pyromania! When are you going to deliver the goods?!”

“Well, when the Imposter is dumb enough to show his face around here, I’ll see to it he is highly brutalized. As for the girlfriend, well…” WG began rubbing the back of her neck.

“She’s the only one we could find.” Fanatic answered, pointing ahead.

“Who---“ Dan began to ask, only to get tackled in a hug!

“DAN! How ya doing?!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “I haven’t seen you since The Hub got shut down and we all went to different networks!”

Dan gave the Authors a look. “THIS is the best you could do?”

“Hey, it worked out in Justice4243’s _The Wheel and the Butterfly,”_ Fanatic said with a shrug.

Dan groaned; he looked at the eager Pinkie Pie. “…fine, I’ll give it a try.”

“WOO-HOO! C’mon, let’s see how good the cake is here!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, grabbing him by the wrist and yanking him in.

“GAH!”

“Well, we should scout the perimeter in case any more rogue droids want to have a premature battle. Who wants to stand watch?” Tracker asked.

“I’ll do it,” Terrence said with a shrug.

“I’ll stick with him,” Elwynn added.

“Great--- Wesley, you stay and brief them!” Zane replied, planting Wesley right in front of them.

“Me??” Wesley questioned. “Why?”

“Because you’re a Time Lord and at least ONE of us should give interdimensional visitors a summary of how this story works… and I don’t want you near my girlfriend,” With that, Zane picked up WG like a sack of potatoes and hurried off.

Wesley rolled his eyes. “Just wait until next week,”

“C’mon, Socks, you can team with me and Fanatic!” ATF exclaimed.

“Cool! I’ll give you guys a history of my world, too.” Socks said, then turned to the audience. “For those who want all the details, read the _Crossover Chaos_ saga posted by KatTheFirePhoenixWolf here on AO3!”

“Are we going to advertise everyone’s stories?” Tea asked as she walked them.

“You want advertising? You should see our Rakata Coffee commercials!”

Elwynn, Terrence, and Wesley stood outside while the group dispersed. “Where should I start…” the Time Lord pondered to himself.

“We read the fics, we’re good.” Elwynn assured him.

Wesley let out a heavy sigh. “Oh thank God! I couldn’t figure out how to explain it!”

“As much as I can understand… it’s completely and utterly insane. But not as bad as our world.” Terrence said with a shrug. “For one thing… well, let’s just say it’s as hard to explain as Kingdom Hearts and you just have to experience the story.”

“Having played the games for years, I’ll take your word for it.”

“Ah well. From what I can see so far, things won’t be too weird here!” Elwynn replied with a shrug.

At this point, Swaine and Puggsy were walking by--- stopping and staring at Wesley and Terrence.

Puggsy opened his mouth to speak, but only shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

Swaine did a double take as he followed him. “Pugs--- they--- are you seeing---?!” he was sputtering.

“DON’T. WANT. TO KNOW.”

“*sigh* …dammit, this is going to be a long season…”

Wesley smirked to himself, folding his arms behind his head. “This is going to be fun,”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Meanwhile~_

Doctor Possible was driving home from work that evening, talking on his cellphone. “I know I’m running late, but that new proton-reactor we’re working on went on the fritz! I had to put in some overtime to help get a few bugs worked out. …No, no, don’t worry, I’ll be back while the meatloaf is still hot. By the way, have you heard anything from Kim and Ron? …Fabulous! …Yeah, I still can’t believe our little girl is married--- even after all these…”

His voice trailed off. Someone was in the middle of the road, flagging him down.

“Um, call you back, honey. I think there’s either a hitchhiker or hoodlum. …I’m on Bulldog Avenue. Punch in the tracking code I put on my car, and tell the police to stand by. If I don’t call back in 20 minutes, I’ve probably been kidnapped again. …Yes, I have my high-volt taser-gun on me.”

Once he hung up, he pulled over. He was hoping this was just an ordinary carjacker and not some supervillain out to kill him or use him for some dastardly scheme.

Thankfully, it was none of the above…

But it felt much more unsettling.

It was what appeared to be a young teen, with brown hair… the bangs dyed a red-yellow color like flames, and he had red eyes. He looked very familiar, and Doctor Possible felt himself swallowing heavily. “Can I… help you?” he asked calmly.

“I hope so…” the teen responded, a robotic hand resting on the windowsill of the car door. “You remember me, don’t you?”

“You’re the robot who attacked my daughter’s wedding, aren’t you?”

“…To be honest, that was The Incredibly Annoying League of Slash Fans, but I did attack alongside them, so… yeah.” The robot shifted, feeling a bit awkward. “Um, sorry about that. But you knew me before then.”

Doctor Possible was silent for a moment, before he sighed. “So you remember.”

“Yes… but I still need answers.”

“That depends all on the questions,”

“Then I’ll start with an easy one…” The robot reached into his pocket and pulled out a flashdrive, handing it to him. “Can you tell me what you know about this?”

The scientist looked at the flashdrive, finding that the robot had labeled it: _Project Daedalus._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Back at the club~_

The Security Team gathered out front. So far, there had been no other attacks, and the evening was going well.

“So, did you ever remember that thing you figured we were forgetting?” WG asked.

“No… but I’m sure it’ll come up eventually.” Fanatic said with a shrug.

A car pulled up just then, and a pizza guy stepped out. “Someone here order a pizza, extra large, extra cheese, extra thick crust, extra extras?” he called.

“Over here!” ATF called. The pizza guy threw the box to him like a Frisbee, hitting him in the face. “OOF! …thank you…”

“Seems like we’re really squeezing in a lot in this chapter,” Ardent stated, while the Authors each took a slice of pizza.

“Don’t worry, it’s just the intro. The rest of the story will flesh itself out,” WG assured, munching on a slice.

“Is it because you were eager to get this story started and have given careful consideration into each chapter, or is it just wishful thinking?” Tsuki asked.

“…mostly the latter.”

“Well… there is a lot to look forward to. That’s as much as I’m saying, and I’m not giving any more spoilers!” Fanatic replied.

“I figured that was ATF’s job,” Elwynn quipped.

There was applause inside, and the Authors peered in. “Well, seems like the night is wrapping up. Time to go home,” Max stated, the valet preparing to fetch some vehicles.

“Hey, Kamo-chan! You can clock out now!” ATF called, eating pizza whilst sporting a band-aid on his face.

“It’s about time… and stop calling me that,” Kamoshida answered, stepping out.

The security alarm went off just then. “Name?” Surge asked again.

“CAN WE GET RID OF THIS THING?!”


	2. The One with the Goose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who never read Season 2 or "A Hollywood Fairytale" will not know who our next character is xD
> 
> Disclaimer: *is pulled away by a goose*

It was a cool night at the House of Mouse as Fanatic, Tea, and ATF stood outside. “So… isn’t there supposed to be at least four of us on the clock?” Tea asked, working on a drawing as they waited for the plot to arrive.

“We all decided anyone who isn’t scheduled to work tonight can try to figure out who the new villain is. And I swear WG said she had arrived,” Fanatic replied, scratching his head.

“She did--- she’s just been hiding in that plant for the last fifteen minutes,” ATF answered.

“Bro!” WG snapped, popping out of the plant--- conveniently located behind Max who let out a girly shriek. “Don’t give away my hiding spots!”

Max held his chest, letting out heavy breaths. “Would you PLEASE not do that?!” he snapped.

“Why are you hiding? Did you piss off someone on social media again?” Fanatic asked.

“No…” WG looked around, before leaning in and whispering. “Do you remember my story, _Naga+Bara?”_

“Nope/Never read it/I forgot that story exists,” the others answered.

WG rolled her eyes. “Well… see, the only reason I was allowed to post it was because I made a deal with Swaine--- I could write any kind of fluffy setup between him and Puggsy, and in turn he’s allowed to shoot me with 11 trick-shots! Since then, I’ve been anxious about when he’s going to start pulling the trigger!”

“What about Puggsy?” Tea asked.

“ _He_ made up the rules--- no one can interfere, each shot can be taken at any time (preferably when I’m least expecting it), every trick-shot can only be used once, and only Swaine can do it unless he gives permission to someone else. …Honestly, I think he just likes the idea of seeing me covered in bullet holes,”

“But you posted that story months ago!” ATF stated.

“Yeah, they both know it’s the _wait_ that gets me—Eep!” She quickly dove and hid in Fanatic’s shirt when two people walked by. She popped her head out--- making it look like they were Siamese twins. “I just wish he’d get it over with!”

“Seriously? You’ve jumped off buildings, been set on fire, hit by anvils, run over by trucks, and dealt with killer robots… yet getting shot by the thief from _Ni no Kuni_ scares you?” Tea questioned. As she did, a goose waddled its way into the club.

“I’m not scared! I just hate being caught off guard did a goose just walk into the club?”

The Authors turned their heads, seeing indeed a goose walked in. “Ah, great… it’s that chicken episode from Season One all over again!” Fanatic sighed.

“Alright… we’ll go after it--- Tea, you stay here and let us know when any strange characters show up!” ATF ordered.

“Alright,” Tea replied with a shrug, and turned her focus back on her sketchbook while the trio of Authors rushed inside… WG still in Fanatic’s shirt. “And get out of my boyfriend’s shirt, please!”

“(Apologies!)” came WG’s voice… followed by a *thud* “Oof!”

Max looked at Tea’s sketchpad. “Wow, you’re really good!”

“Thank you!” Tea beamed, then continued to draw.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

While the Authors were being Authors, the managers of the club were in Mickey’s dressing room. The famous mouse was pacing back and forth, Walter was watching him in concern, and Oswald was playing on his phone. “Mickey, you shouldn’t worry about anything.” Walter told him. “Things will be alright,”

“I can’t help it! I know the company has been in a lot of hot water, but I didn’t think it would be this bad!” Mickey replied, absolutely flustered.

“Chill out, Mick. The company’s gotten out of plenty of scraps before. So Peg told us a few censors are going to be dropping by--- they did so back in, what, Season One didn’t they? And look how that worked out!” Oswald assured him.

Mickey looked at him. “Oswald. You weren’t HERE in Season One.”

“What, you think I didn’t read the story? But seriously, let those dumb censors come and check things out. We’ve customized the place, the guests so far have been behaving themselves, the security guards are… well, crazy, but at least they defend people!”

“Not to mention, I don’t think the censors know what’s okay to show to kids anymore--- they cave in to peer pressure. Why, I remember when people weren’t allowed to even cuss on television and couples had to sleep in separate beds! Now you see foul language, sex, drug abuse and God-knows-what else on the small screen!” Walter added. “And then the networks try to make shows talk about the dangers of such, but keeping it ‘toned down’, when really it should be the parents who talk to their kids about these sort of things. Now, they’re just letting the media educate kids themselves, and… they pretty much brainwash them. (…sheesh, I think my old roommate made conspiracy theories about this.)”

Mickey and Oswald looked at him. “…Did someone introduce you to Tumblr?”

“Twitter,” Walter cleared his throat. “But, our club is nothing like that. People just come here for some good fun, and we have a great staff to help keep guests safe and entertained,” He knelt down, resting a hand on the two cartoons’ shoulders. “No matter what those censors try to do, we’ll be on top of it. Right?”

Mickey let out a sigh, but smiled. “Right.”

“Let’s get on the stage,” Oswald said, reaching to grab his phone… only to see it was gone! “Huh?? I could have sworn I left my phone right here.”

*hjonk hjonk!*

They looked over, seeing a goose taking off with Oswald’s phone!

“Wh--- stop that goose!” Oswald took off after it.

Mickey rubbed his face. “Looks like it’s going to be _that_ sort of night…”

Walter arched an eyebrow. “What sort of night would that be?”

“You’ll see.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Near a table, currently unoccupied, Fanatic and WG were scoping out the scene--- Fanatic was peeking out from underneath the cloth, WG from the left side… and a little kitty sock-puppet looming up from the top.

“No sign of the goose,” Fanatic stated.

“Same, we’d better check back… back… stage…” WG began, her voice trailing off as she turned and looked at the kitty puppet. “…Um, bro? Why do you have a kitty sock puppet?”

“Why _shouldn’t_ I have a kitty sock puppet?” ATF spoke through the puppet, which bobbed its little head with every word.

“…Good point. To the backstage!”

“You guys go without me--- I’m gonna go see how Tea is doing,” Fanatic replied.

“God speed. Onward, then!” WG pointed her machete in the direction they were to go.

“You’ve been hanging out with Barley, haven’t you?” ATF guessed through the kitty puppet.

“Yes, now lets continue our wild goose chase!”

*BONK!*

A volleyball hit her on the head. “…I deserved that.”

“Deserved what?” asked a voice, and she turned to see Swaine standing there.

“Oh, every time a pun gets dropped, someone gets hit with a vol--- GAH, SWAINE!” WG then bolted!

Swaine arched an eyebrow, then looked at Fanatic. “Explain?”

“Pretty sure it involves a new running gag. Anyway! To my girlfriend I go!” Fanatic replied then walked off.

The kitty sock-puppet looked up at Swaine, gave a teeny wave, then dawdled off. Swaine only looked at the audience and shrugged, before walking off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fanatic walked outside, finding that Tea was still drawing--- Max was posing for her. “Aaaand, done!” she said, and showed him the picture.

“Cool! I look great!” Max replied, then handed her some munnies. “Thanks again,”

“Anytime,” Tea looked at Fanatic. “How goes the hunt?”

“So far, no goose. Anything to report out here?” Fanatic asked in response.

“It’s just been quiet…. Which is a sure sign something is up, am I right?”

“Too right. Grab your sketchpad and pencil, and lets go scout the perimeter,”

“Okay---“ Tea reached to grab her pencil… only to see it was gone! “What the---?”

*hjonk hjonk!*

They looked over, seeing the goose taking off with the pencil! “HEY! GET BACK HERE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND’S PROPERTY, YOU FEATHERED THIEF!” Fanatic shouted, racing after it!

“Um, I have an extra—ah well,” Tea replied, and joined the pursuit.

Max watched them run back into the club, scratching his head. “Why does this seem familiar?” he questioned. He paused just then, hearing something…

*ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling*

“….either the ice-cream truck is running late, someone left a cat-toy out, or I’m about to have an encounter with a strange character,” Max commented to himself, turning around and seeing a figure wearing a dark-blue cloak, a hood hiding their face. “…And of course it’s the latter.”

*ding-a-ling-a-ling*

He looked, seeing that there was a little bell jingling on the cloak. “Um… w-what’s with the bell?”

“Oh! Do you like it?” The figure asked, their voice sounding female, upbeat… and somewhat familiar.

Max arched an eyebrow. _She sounds like… but she couldn’t be… unless WG is pulling some sort of elaborate prank!_

“May I go in?”

“Er, ah… s-sure,” Max stepped aside, and the cloaked figure walked inside. He then took out a walkie-talkie, radioing the front desk. “Um, Daisy? …Does WG have a twin?” He paused a beat. “Outside of ATF?”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Near the front, Swaine, Puggsy, and Kamoshida were mingling. “So, you have to hit someone with a ball _every_ time a pun is dropped?” Puggsy asked.

“Well, not every time. Sans gets a pass since he’s so likeable, and Dad Jokes are excluded,” Kamoshida answered, looking around. “Other than that, it’s pretty much going to be a slow shift. So far, WG was the only one who made a pun,”

“Did you get it on tape?”

“Speaking of which, have you guys seen her anywhere? She spazzed out when she saw me,” Swaine questioned.

“She’s been drinking a lot of coffee lately, so she might just be high strung.” Kamoshida replied with a shrug. “If you want to find her, you might as well check the kitche--- what the fuck?!” He did a double take, seeing the kitty sock-puppet right near his shoulder! He turned around. “ANTI! Would you--- beat it, kid!”

“Mew!” ATF responded, and stuck the kitty-puppet in his face. It pawed the man’s nose.

The older man held in a bitter groan. He looked at Swaine and Puggsy. “…Do you guys have to deal with this sort of thing often?”

“Believe me, you don’t want to know WHAT we had to endure,” Swaine scoffed, then looked at ATF. “Aren’t you supposed to be on guard-duty?”

“Yeah, but then I remembered this is when we’re introduced to a new character,” ATF replied with a shrug. Kamoshida pushed his kitty puppet away from his face.

“What new character?” Puggsy asked.

“That one!” ATF pointed.

*WHOOOOSH!*

The doors blew open, and everyone in the club turned; the audience stopped what they were doing and stared; Mickey paused on the stage, shielding his eyes from the spotlight in order to get a clear look; Horace looked through a pair of binoculars from the projector room; Fanatic and Tea looked out from the curtain backstage; and the goose paused, carrying Snow White’s apple by the stem, looking over as well.

In stepped the cloaked figure with the jingling bell… and she pulled her hood back, revealing herself to be---

“Wherever Girl??” Daisy gasped; she looked, seeing the young woman was wearing a cream-and-light-pink dress underneath her blue cloak. “…oh, no wait, you’re in a dress. Never mind.”

“PLEASE don’t tell me she thinks she’s a princess again!” Donald groaned.

“Oh, I’m not WG.” The princess-like WG answered.

“Well, you’re definitely not NC--- you’re wearing way too much clothing,” Daisy quipped.

“Maybe it’s one of WG’s self-based OC… Does your wife wear dresses?” Swaine asked Puggsy.

“Not even for our wedding day,” Puggsy answered.

The woman gasped. “Oh! My prince! I didn’t think I would see you here!” she exclaimed, and ran forth and hugged Swaine! …very tight.

“GRRRKKKK! I think I remember who she is!” The thief gasped. “Let me go, let me go!”

“Oh--- oh, sorry! I got a little excited,” She let him go… and he took off running. She giggled. “I always love it when he’s on the run…” She then noticed many people were staring at her. “Ah! Pardon my manners--- allow me to introduce myself. My name is Prynn Supercalifragiliciousexpialidocious Cess, but you may call me ‘Prynn’. …I’m WG’s old ‘princess’ identity!”

“Ah,” the entire audience replied, then went on with their business.

“Princess identity?” Kamoshida whispered to the others in question.

“Season Two joke; from what I heard, Prynn become her own person in a St. Paddy’s Day crack fic,” Puggsy answered.

*ding-a-ling-a-ling*

Everyone looked, seeing that the kitty sock-puppet was playing with the bell on Prynn’s cloak. “…Sorry, I like your bell,” ATF said through the puppet.

“It’s okay,” Prynn said with a giggle, before taking her cloak off and hanging it up. She then hugged ATF. “It’s good to see you again, brother. Where is everyone?”

ATF thumbed over his shoulder. “Wild goose chase,”

*BONK!*

“OOOWWWWW…!”

Prynn looked at ATF (who was rubbing his aching head) and then at Kamoshida. “Why did you hit my little brother with a volleyball?!”

“Running gag--- every time a pun is dropped, they get a volleyball to the head,” Kamoshida said with an innocent shrug.

“Are you told you must hit them _that_ hard?”

“I figured it was implied.”

“It’s okay, Prynn.” ATF said, popping up—then leaned against Kamoshida. “He can pound me _any time_ he wants~”

Kamoshida looked at his watch. “Oh-gee-look-at-that-it’s-time-for-my-break!” he said quickly, and bolted.

ATF grinned. “I love it when they take off running,”

“Right??” Prynn agreed.

Fanatic and Tea came over. “Oh, hey Prynn. Welcome to the club,” the co-author said in greeting, only to get hugged by the princess next.

“Fanatic! How are you doing?? I’ve been hearing great things about your _Restless Souls_ fic!” Prynn exclaimed, then turned and hugged Tea next. “Tea, good to see you! I love the new drawings you’ve been posting, your talent gets more impressive each day!”

“Oh! T-Thank you, I appreciate it!” Tea replied, blushing a bit.

“Thanks for the scone, Josh! …And tell Remy to stop hogging the kitchen, he’s not the ONLY top chef we got!” WG called as she walked out of the kitchen, a coffee mug in her hand.

“Wherever Girl!” Prynn exclaimed, and ran forth to hug her next.

WG held out her hand in a ‘stop’ motion. “AH-Ah-ah! Let me have my coffee first!” she hollered.

“Oh! Go ahead.” Prynn waited patiently, while WG drank from the cup.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

“(ah, that’s good mocha) …Okay, you may hug me now,” WG replied, and she and Prynn hugged. “Well, well, if it’s not my royal twin. What brings you to the club?”

“Oh! Yes, well… I figured I could help out on the team somehow. And while I was here…” Prynn beamed, a bit giddy. “I’m hoping to become an official princess!”

Everyone stared. “Uh…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let my dream get in the way of my work. So, you’re having trouble catching a goose?”

“Yeah, it’s been running off with a lot of things--- it took Oswald’s phone, Tea’s pencil, and…” Fanatic began.

“MISTER MEW-MEW!” ATF cried, pointing over and seeing that the goose was making off with his kitty sock puppet!

“I’ll get it!” Prynn exclaimed, and rushed after it---

*thud!*

…tripping over the skirt of her dress. “Oh, bother.”

WG rolled her eyes and opened a portal, making the goose drop down into her arms. “There, that was eas--- AH! OW! OW! BAD GOOSEY!” She shouted, as the goose began to nip at her! She tossed it to ATF.

“WHOA! AUGH! WATCH THE BEAK!” ATF cried as the goose tried to bite him next! He tossed it to Fanatic.

“HEY! ACK! NICE, GOOSE! NO BITEY!” Fanatic yelled, tossing it back to WG!

From the dining area, Abigail and Amelia Gabble watched the spectacle. “I say, Abigail, that new goose is quite the rabble-rouser!” Amelia whispered.

“Do you suppose he is related to Uncle Waldo?” Abigail inquired.

Uncle Waldo staggered up to their table, giving a hiccup. “Now see here, young ladies! Your dear Uncle Waldo’s side of the family as always been—*HICCUP!*--- proper and polished!” he slurred. “By the way… *hic* have you seen my hat?” He asked this as his hat tipped over his eyes, making his nieces giggle.

Tea was helping Prynn stand back up, each of them watching as their friends tossed the goose in a game of hot-potato (first one to get bit loses). “Well we caught the goose… now we gotta find a way to get it out of here without anyone suffering any injuries,” Tea commented.

Prynn thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. She went over to her cloak and plucked the bell off it, heading over. “Everyone, drop the goose!” she called.

ATF dropped the goose--- who at this moment was chewing on his hat--- and began to take off.

*ding-a-ling-a-ling*

It paused, and turned, seeing Prynn holding the bell. She then rolled it out the door; the goose dropped the hat and took off after the bell; it picked it up, and content with its tiny treasure, dawdled off from whence it came.

Everyone blinked. “How…?” WG asked.

“I’ve played _Untitled Goose Game_ before,” Prynn replied with a shrug.

“Well… good thinking then! C’mon, we’ll take you to see Mickey--- and help you find an outfit that you won’t trip up in,” Fanatic replied, walking off with Prynn and Tea.

“Shall we guard the door?” ATF asked WG.

“After you,” WG answered, and they walked out. “…by the way, what happened to that metal-detector thing?”

“We scrapped it,”

“Ah.”

Puggsy, who had been standing there quiet the whole time, watched everyone leave. “Yep. It’s that sort of a night,” he said, before walking off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Meanwhile, the goose waddled down to the pond, where it dropped the bell into a ditch… which was filled with many other shiny bells that it had collected.

It then walked over and curled up in its nest to get some sleep.

While the goose slept, across the pond a figure sat on the bench, wearing a black jacket, the hood covering their face. They then lifted their head a bit as if sensing something, their eyes glowing a bright blue color.

“So it begins…” he said to himself, standing up and flying away.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“…and that’s why leggings are better than stockings,” Prynn was saying, walking out in a dark blue-and-white dress that went to her knees, black leggings, comfortable slip-on shoes, and her long hair tied back by a black ribbon.

“Easier to put on, and a lot less itchy. I see,” Fanatic replied.

“Thanks for letting me draw you, Prynn,” Tea added, showing the picture of Prynn in the outfit she had entered in.

“Thank you for the new dress!” Prynn answered with a small bow.

“It is wonderful to have you on the team, Prynn. And you say you are hoping to become an official princess?” Walter asked.

“Yes… are there any certain regulations I should follow?”

Walter looked at a list. “Well according to this… you ‘must be human’, and ‘have made a surplus of money at the box office’--- wait, that doesn’t make sense. I’ve seen fine princesses who don’t fit either of those categories! …I guess we can rule out ‘marry a royal’ as well. I mean, Mulan never did, and she’s considered to be one of the best Disney princesses we’ve ever made! …and if we went with the ‘accomplish an act of heroism’ argument, then EVERYONE would be a princess!”

“Yay!” ATF called off-screen.

“So what should she do?” Fanatic asked.

Walter knelt down in front of Prynn (considering she was the same height as WG). “I think you should let your heart decide. You’ll know when you’ve become an official princess--- it’s not all about wearing a dress or acting polite or being a hero. It’s about who you are,”

“Who I am… huh.” Prynn repeated, a look of pondering on her face.

“Something up, Prynn?” Tea asked.

“No, it’s just… well, I can’t quite put it into words.” She shook her head. “I’ll think about it later. For now, my duty as a security guard comes first!”

“Great! …C’mon, lets go see if there’s any lurking villains who want to be used for target practice!” With that, Fanatic took off. Prynn and Tea looked at each other, shrugged, and followed.

Walter crossed his arms, shaking his head and smiling. “So, this is ‘that’ sort of night, huh? Interesting,”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“Ever feel like this entire episode has just been filler?” ATF asked while he and WG stood out front, sipping sodas.

“The only thing I’m feeling is acid reflux,” WG muttered, then threw away her soda. “It sucks being an adult.”

“I can agree,” Swaine replied, standing beside her.

“EEP!” WG turned to run, but Swaine grabbed her shoulder.

“Hold on, WG! I want to talk to you. Why are you so anxious around me?”

“Because of that deal you made where you get to shoot her,” ATF replied. “…by the way, if you collect the bullets, you should totally make them into a necklace.”

“(Not helping!)” WG hissed at him.

Swaine arched an eyebrow. “Seriously? I actually forgot about that…” He patted WG on the shoulder. “Look, you don’t need to get so worked up. So we made a deal—it’s not like it’s a personal vendetta! I’ve seen a lot of fics AND fanart that have been worse.” He shut his eyes in cringe. “So… much… worse.” He looked at her. “So don’t feel guilty about it. Regardless of what situations you put me through, we’ll still be friends. Okay?”

WG looked at him, surprised. “Really?”

“Really,” He held out his hand, and she shook it, both of them smiling.

*BANG!*

Quick as a blink, Swaine shot her with a Mugshot! “NUMBER ONE!” he exclaimed to the audience, before walking off-screen as WG hit the concrete.

“…y’know… I was expecting that… ow.” WG grunted, lying on the ground.

The kitty puppet rose up into view, looked down at WG for a moment, then turned to the audience and gave a little wave.

…

Pan out showing ATF in a squatting position holding up the puppet, while WG sat up. Fanatic, Tea, and Prynn ran out. “We heard a gunshot. …Did the new recurring joke start?” Fanatic asked.

“Yeah, you just missed it.” ATF answered. He looked over his shoulder. “Did you get it, Puggsy?”

Puggsy, who was standing by recording with his phone, gave a thumbs-up.

Prynn looked at everyone. “I fail to understand,” she stammered.

“You’ll get used to it,” Tea replied, patting her on the back.

Oswald walked out just then. “Hey, did you guys ever find my phone and the other missing items?” he asked.

All the guards paused.

“Craaap…!” WG groaned, and they went into the club to search.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: "HJONK HJONK AM GOOSE!" -Jack Septiceye.
> 
> If anyone wants to see Tea's art, check out Necromulus on DeviantArt! :D


	3. Enter: The Villain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's time we were introduced to our main antagonist, don't you?
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own anything except our own characters.

_They stood not too far off, looking onward at their destination._

_Their targets were in sight._

_Their leader looked at them._

_“Kill them all.”_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“Ever get a---?” Elwynn began to state, as he stood outside the House of Mouse with Socks, Terrence, Tsuki, and Tracker.

“Bad feeling of impending doom? …Yeah, you’ll get over it.” Tsuki replied with a shrug.

“Ah, so you guys deal with it a lot, too. Good, for a moment I thought I was just feeling homesick,”

“But we’ve only been here for five minutes!” Terrence pointed out, arching an eyebrow as he looked at his husband.

“Yeah, well, in our time, that’s like a week! …No, seriously. I got a text from Trippz--- she wants to know when we’ll be back, and what’s all been going on--- oh, and she wants a souvenir.” Elwynn pulled out his phone, showing the text messages.

“Well I’m bored. Can Tsuki and I set each other on fire and see who burns the fastest?” Socks asked.

“How about I just turn into a dragon and rip out your organs?” Tsuki retorted.

Sock’s eyes widened. “You can turn into a dragon?? Ooh! I want to see! I want to see!”

Tracker’s ears perked up. “Hold up, my wolf-instincts are detecting trouble nearby,” she replied, the she-wolf taking out her shotgun. “We’d better check it out,”

“Where at?” Terrence asked, his symbols glowing, showing he was ready for action.

“That way--- I sense something from over there!” Tracker pointed eastward down the block.

“Alright. Elwynn, you and Tsuki stay here in case anything happens. Socks, you come with us.”

“Finally! Bring on the battle!” Socks exclaimed, turning into a grendel and running down the street ahead of them!

“Socks, wait up!” Tracker called, racing after him. Terrence flew behind her.

Tsuki blinked. “Puggsy can fly in your dimension?” she asked.

“Oh yeah. He can do a LOT in my world--- he’s so powerful, that he has to wear inhibitors to help control his powers. What you saw in the first episode was just a sliver of his abilities. Now when he’s at 10% power, he could level a whole army. At 50%, an entire continent!” Elwynn answered.

“And what about the full 100%?”

“He’d blow up the entire universe… and his hair turns white and he ends up naked.” Elwynn shrugged. “BUT, that’s just in our home-universe. His powers altered over here, so I have no idea what the _ever living heck?!”_

A giant laser-ball came careening towards the two Authors at lightning speed--!

Suddenly it froze, just a few feet from demolishing them and the club. Max, who was listening to his iPod, looked up and flinched. “Uhhhhhh, why is there a giant ball of energy hovering right above us?!”

Tsuki looked, seeing Elwynn was holding his hands up, and a glow seemed to be around him. He then seemed to ‘push’, and the laser-ball seemed to go back to whence it came. “How are you doing that?” Tsuki asked.

“I have the ability to manipulate time--- but it takes a lot of my energy,” Elwynn grunted. “I’ve never done it in this world before, so I don’t know how much I have… but I think we can deduce where that blast came from!” Elwynn answered; they watched, and saw that the blast had been fired from the sky. He then ‘let go’, and the blast came back towards them.

Tsuki opened a large portal to swallow the blast, making it shoot in the opposite direction; rather than disappearing into the depths of space, it struck a piece of the sky… leaving a charred blast in the stars. “Either our scenery budget has reduced us to using cardboard backdrops, or I’d say we got a cloaked airship above us,”

“Why is it ALWAYS an airship? If it’s not evil lairs, it’s giant battleships. You’d think villains would try to do something new like… I don’t know… stay in a hotel!” Tsuki gave Elwynn a look. “…I’m just spitballing ideas, here.”

“How about you deal with that battleship--- since it’s SENDING ANOTHER BLAST OUR WAY!” Max screamed, then ran inside!

Tsuki quickly opened another portal, and the blast hit the ship again, this time disabling the cloaking device and showing a massive tank-like structure with a castle on the top, the main tower in the shape of a roaring dragon. “…Well, you have to admit they have an interesting design,” Tsuki stated.

“Terrence, it’s Elwynn--- get back here quick, the trouble is here!” Elwynn said into a communication device… but only got static. “Terry? Socks? Anyone, come in!”

 _“Ah, so we finally get an invitation,”_ came a retort. The device had been hacked!

“What the f---? Who are you?!”

“ _I’d love to introduce myself… but I’d like to destroy you first,”_

Tsuki and Elwynn looked up, their eyes wide. Thousands upon thousands of air-drones came flying out of the ship, hovering overhead as they swarmed downwards towards them.

The unkillable Author turned towards the time-bender. “Think you can rewind time far enough to get some backup?”

“The most I can do is pause everything long enough to get help,” Elwynn replied, doing just that.

“In that case, I’ll send a mental-message,” Tsuki closed her eyes, concentrating. _‘If any Author or superhero are in the area, we need backup at the House of Mouse!’_

She got a reply instantly. _‘I’m already here!’_

_‘…Ah, I wondered when you’d pop up again.’_

*POW!*

Elwynn looked, seeing a flash of blue energy struck a good chunk of the drones out of the sky! There came another blast, with took out another five hundred, and she looked and saw a figure flying through the air; they wore a dark-blue hoodie and jeans, and they shot lasers out of their eyes that pierced through several thousand more drones--- and a fire hydrant, making water shoot out from the ground.

Tsuki then turned into her Night Fury form, flying up and blasting more of the drones with plasma-blasts; her body glowed with pure energy, and lightning shot out of her body and zapped several of the drones--- and the mysterious flying figure in the rear. “Ow! Watch where you’re zapping!” he yelped.

 _That voice… He kind of sounds like---_ Elwynn began to think, but was interrupted by a falling drone landing beside him. “Whoa! It’s raining mech!”

Once all the drones were destroyed, Elwynn was able to unpause everything; Tsuki and the mysterious figure landed back on the ground. “Do you mind introducing yourself already so the narrative doesn’t keep referring to you as ‘the figure’ all the time?” Tsuki asked.

“Yeah, I’d like to meet our new Tier 0 badass,” Elwynn added with a knowing smirk.

“Well, my Author name is Tracer87… but you may call me---“ The figure began.

“ _KIFF WHEREVER MURPHY!”_ came a snap as Puggsy stormed over and pulled the hood back! Underneath was what looked like a younger version of him… but with blue eyes and blonde hair.

Kiff blushed. “Daaaaad! You spoiled my intro!” he groaned.

“I don’t care! Where have you been?! Your mom said you’ve been sneakifying out at night, and now all of a sudden I see you blasting drones out of the sky!”

“Um, Pugs? You mind scolding your kid later? We’ve got a situation here,” Tsuki deadpanned, thumbing over at the airship.

Kiff looked up. “Yeah, another swarm will be coming out--- we gotta act fast!” he exclaimed. He turned to Puggsy. “I’ll talk to you later, Dad. Love ya!”

“Hold it---!” Puggsy began to snap, only to end up falling through a portal! “Waugh!”

Tsuki chuckled. “You are _so_ grounded,”

“Can one of you guys open a portal and get the others?” Elwynn asked.

“No time, here they come!” Kiff pointed. He turned to Elwynn. “Unless you can pause everything, again.”

Elwynn tried, but ended up letting out an exhausted breath. “I don’t have enough energy. I’m still adapting to this world!” He let out an irritated sigh. “I TOLD Socks we should have worked on training rather than letting him and ATF jump off buildings to see who hit the ground first.”

“Really? Socks is totally ripped! He would hit the ground first, wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah, but ATF kept hitting the pavement first, and Socks kept saying he was cheating by using portals. …He wasn’t, but he put a lot of bricks in his pockets.”

“Don’t worry, I sense backup coming. Lets try to hold them off as long as we can--- we have to defend the club!” Tsuki declared, as a bunch of drones shot towards the club---

*doink, doink, doink, doink, doink, doink, etc*

She and Elwynn arched their eyebrows, as the drones seemed to end up falling to the ground, like birds who just flew into a window. They realized a large force-field was shielding the whole building, them included! They looked at Kiff, who was holding out his palms, controlling the force-field. “That should do it,” he said.

“…why didn’t you do that sooner?” Elwynn asked.

“Because I like blowing stuff up, first.”

“…Good point.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Meanwhile on the other side of the block (somehow not noticing the oversized airship and drones flying around~_

“Are we close, Tracker?” Terrence asked.

“Close? You barely know her!” Socks quipped. The Colmare rolled his eyes.

“Just a little further!” Tracker replied, running ahead of them.

Terrence looked around; somehow, he sensed that the threat wasn’t in their current vicinity, and something about Tracker struck him as odd. “Um, hey Tracker, how exactly are you sensing this again?”

“My wolf-senses! I can track danger from miles away!”

“Really… so exactly how _many_ miles away is this threat?”

“It’s just down this next street!” Tracker then made a sharp turn; Terrence turned to keep up with her, and Socks… was running too fast and ended up hitting a light-post--- he only shook his head and kept running… whereas the light-post fell over.

*CRASH!*

“OW! SOCKS!” Terrence shouted off-screen.

“Sorry!” Socks responded.

Halfway down the block Tracker stopped, pointing down a long dark alley. “It’s somewhere down there,” she whispered to them.

“How original,” Terrence deadpanned.

“Hold it. You mean you expect two people from a foreign realm, who have had little to no experience in your universe, to go down a dark alley that may be killed with unspeakable horrors that would result in an untimely death?!” Socks questioned Tracker sternly… then beamed. “WE’LL DO IT!”

Drawing his sword Hexagonas, the grendel took the lead and the group went into the alley. Terrence looked around, and he had a feeling there was no threat around. “There’s nothing here,” the Colmare stated.

“Keep looking, there has to be something.” Tracker replied insistently.

Socks turned into a grendel and sniffed around. “Pugs is right, Track. There’s nothing here! You sure your wolf senses led us to the right spot?”

“It’s obvious the threat is good at hiding itself. Just because you can’t sense something, doesn’t mean it’s not there! And I sense… I… Something…” Tracker then grunted, gripping her head. “S-Something… is… _wrong with the others!”_

“What?!” Terrence questioned.

Tracker shook her head. “Nothing! Sorry, just had a little bit of anxiety, it’s nothing--- urk! We have to go back! Something is seriously wrong! ---guh!--- Oh, there it goes again! M-Must be my animatronic parts glitch--- GAH, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

Terrence’s eyes widened; he and Socks exchanged a look, and the Colmare rushed over to Tracker, grabbing her. Something in his powers stirred, and he found he could read her mind! _Whoa! I’m seeing her thoughts! (…wow, she really likes the FNAF franchise…)_ He thought, concentrating. _But… wait… I’m hearing something else…_

Tracker flinched, pushing away from him. “Get your hands off---! HELP ME!” she snapped and screamed.

Terrence turned to Socks. “She’s being mind-controlled!”

“Don’t worry! I know a sure-fire way to help!” Socks said, running up to Tracker---

*BAM!*

…and hitting her on the noggin with a sack of potatoes! Her eyes swirled a bit, and she had a massive headache. Terrence gave Socks a ‘Seriously?!’ look, and the grendel responded with a ‘How else?’ shrug.

“Oh, my head…” Tracker groaned, rubbing her head. She gasped, standing up. “The others! We have to get back to the others! I got a bad feeling something is wrong!”

“And you’re positive?” Terrence asked carefully.

“Of course I am! Every time I’ve had a bad feeling, that means someone I care about is in trouble! We gotta get back to the club!” With that, Tracker began to race back.

Terrence flew over and picked her up, grabbing Socks as well. “In that case, we’ll take the express route!” With that, he shot through the air!

“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Socks exclaimed.

They returned to the block, just in time to see an onslaught of drones hitting a forcefield. Down below they saw Elwynn, Tsuki and some blonde kid standing underneath. Elwynn looked up and saw them, waving to them in warning and pointing up at the airship.

 _‘That airship blasted lasers at us, and all these drones are attacking! We need backup!’_ Elwynn was thinking.

Terrence nodded, setting Socks and Tracker down. “Socks, you stay with Tracker and make sure she doesn’t get brain-hacked again.” He ordered, then flexed, his symbols glowing. “I’ll take down the airship.”

“Oh c’mon! Let me help! I’ve been itching for a fight for the last twenty minutes!” Socks whined.

“Look, until we figure out who or what got into Tracker’s brain, someone has to guard her!”

A portal opened beside them just then. _‘Bring her in here, I’ll try to trace the source of the brain-hacker,’_ came a mental message.

“What the---?! Who…?” Terrence looked over, seeing the blonde kid waving. He blinked a couple-times. “No. Way. …Um, o-kay then… Tracker, go in!” He then pushed the she-wolf through the portal.

Tracker gasped as she stumbled, but Kiff caught her. “K-Kiff?! When did you get here?!” she sputtered.

“No time! I gotta get into your head,” Kiff looked over at Terrence. _‘Unwarping her mind will take a lot of concentration, and I can’t keep the force-field up. So we’ll either have to wait, or you’ll have to take them down hard and fast!’_

_‘You help your friend. …After all, ‘hard’ and ‘fast’ happen to be my specialties ;)’_

_‘TMI! >_<’_

“GO!” Terrence declared as he drew his weapon, Emberblade; Kiff dropped the forcefield, and the Colmare shot through the air! He sliced through half the drones with his sword, blasted energy from his fists and blew up another half, and grabbing another drone and throwing it clear through several more!

Socks, meanwhile, leaped into action with Hexagonas, setting drones on fire while slicing through them, before going full grendel again and tearing them apart, one after another. Tsuki used her elemental powers--- freezing, electrocuting, crushing, burning, and combusting drones, before turning back into a Night Fury and blasting them with plasma.

“Dragon friend??” Grendel!Socks barked, his tail wagging.

“Sure--- now keep smashing bots,” Tsuki replied, using her tail to smack a drone into another.

Elwynn stood guard by Tracker and Kiff, using his sword to slice and dice any drones that dared fly near them. After a few seconds, Kiff let go of the animatronic she-wolf. “The source is up in that airship. Whoever is up there hacked your circuits!” he told her.

“Ugh, I should’ve listened to Uncle Bon about updating my firewall,” Tracker groused. She then took out her shotgun. “Ah well. Time to get even!” She then started shooting down drones like ducks during duck season.

Kiff flew up, blasting through a few drones before frying more with his laser-vision. “Nice powers, kid. So… you’re the ‘Kiff’ of this universe?” Terrence asked.

“Yeah. You got one of me in your universe too?” Kiff guessed.

“Ehh, sorta. Is your friend alright?”

“Yeah--- we just gotta get inside that airship and disable whatever hacked her!”

“Race ya in!” Terrence then shot into the airship.

“Hey! No head starts!” Kiff flew in alongside him.

“GUYS! Oh, great! We’re getting swarmed by drones, and those two go lollygagging into the airship!” Tracker groused, reloading and firing.

“And they didn’t invite me.” Socks scoffed, before slamming his fist into a drone and smacking it into another drone.

“There’s too many!” Tsuki growled, blasting another drone on fire, but the machines seemed to spin around them in a tornado. They then began to glow red. “That is NOT good…”

“They’re going to fry us! Everyone---“ Elwynn began, preparing to use his powers to pause time again.

Suddenly there came a roar, and something slammed through the tornado of drones, knocking their pattern off. They looked and saw Sky Flame flying by, and he crashed through more of them! “Go terrorize a trailer park, you spinning pieces of scrap!” he exclaimed.

Dragongirl flew forth and breathed fire, setting the drones on fire, causing them to malfunction and fly about, crashing into walls or each other. There was a bright blue arc of light as Fanatic sliced through more drones with his light saber; laser blasts followed, as WG leaped into the fray. A drone was flying towards Socks, but a blast of magic struck it, as Wesley took a part in the battle as well.

“Whoa! When did you guys get here??” Socks exclaimed, his tail wagging.

“Simple--- we looked up and saw the giant airship and figured shit was going down,” WG replied, hacking a drone with her machete.

“ _Not_ exactly how I was planning on spending our date-night,” Wesley quipped, shooting a few drones.

“Are the others coming?” Tsuki asked as she froze several drones--- in the form of the statue of David.

“Sadly, they’re busy inside the club.” Fanatic answered, slicing through a drone.

“Busy doing what?!” Tracker questioned, shooting another drone before punching another one.

_~In the club basement~_

Zane, ATF, Scoobycool9, Ardent, Tea and Prynn stood before a mountain of props for _Tarzan, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Aristocats, Treasure Planet, The Black Cauldron,_ and _The Princess and the Frog._

“Is this really necessary?” Scoobycool9 asked as he brought over a wheelbarrow full of props from _Lilo and Stitch._

“Yes, unless you want to see ANOTHER movie turned into a live-action remake!” Zane answered firmly.

“Yeah, but… The Black Cauldron? That movie _bombed_. Do you think the company would be that desperate to re-do that movie?” Ardent questioned.

Everyone paused, unanimously knowing the answer. Scoobycool9 hurried over to the pile with the wheelbarrow.

_~Back at the battle~_

“…Oh.” Tracker answered, before tearing a drone in half.

“Don’t worry! We got this under control!” Elwynn exclaimed, knocking a drone into the geyser of water, making it shoot up into the air--- Socks let out a ‘woof!’ and leaped through the air, catching it and running around. “We can---“

Suddenly the airship tilted; the dragon-like tower shifted, the mouth of it becoming a laser cannon that was aimed right at them and shot forth a mighty blast! Everyone only had enough time to leap out of the way, as the blast made a giant hole in the street so deep, that you could hear an echo! (echo… echo… echo…)

“Holy shit!” WG commented. The dragon head tilted, aimed at the club! She gasped. “No! GUYS, STOP THE---!”

_*bzzt! sizzle! crackle! ptthhh.*_

The laser suddenly died out, and the dragon head tilted downward. Out flew Terrence and Kiff. “Whoa, I can’t believe you made all those droids self-circuit just by looking at them! That was awesome!” The Colmare was saying.

“Not as awesome as you forming an energy-shield off your body and blowing up the lab on the upper floor!” Kiff replied.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t know Kiff was here.” WG replied, looking up.

“Wow, everyone’s showing up for this chapter. It’s like, there’s going to be some huge moment we all need to be present for,” Fanatic commented.

Zane, Ardent, Tea, ATF and Scoobycool9 came rushing out. “Holy snap, guys! We heard that blast from downstairs! Mickey wants to know--- what the heck is that?!” ATF asked, looking up. He then noticed Kiff. “Oh, hey Kiffy.”

“Hi, Uncle Anti.” Kiff replied with a wave.

The airship shifted, legs extending out and smashing through buildings as it planted itself down. A door opened, and out of the doorway, more drones and droids flooded out, surrounding the Authors. Behind them stepped a tall dark-haired pale young man… with half a cybernetic face, mechanical arms, and a shit-eating grin.

“You must be the new bad guy,” Fanatic commented.

“And you’ll be dying. Now.” A long, extendable spike shot out from his back without warning, right towards Fanatic’s face!

Socks leaped forth and blocked the shot, the spike piercing his chest. “Oooowwwwwwwww…! Son of a b--- oh, hey, my heartburn is gone!” he stated. A surge of electricity shot down the metal tendril, electrocuting him! Wesley ran forth and shot the tendril with his Sonic Shotgun, causing it to retract. Socks, thankfully, was fine. “Woo! What a rush! I can see why some people have a shock-fetish!”

“Lets see if the rest of your friends enjoy it. Oh, also, ATTACK!” The villain shouted, as more spikes shot out of his back, and his army of mechs attacked the Authors!

Everyone fought, but were swarmed and unable to swing their weapons, blast magic, transform, open a portal, or fly off. Socks and Tsuki tried to use their elemental powers, but spikes shot through their heads, forcing them to fall unconscious (if not just give them a splitting headache). Fanatic and WG were pinned to the ground, as a pair of spikes came straight for their eyes---

Forcefields surrounded them, and energy blasts shot through the droids. More blasts shot through the drones, and the villain looked up just in time for Terrence to punch him hard in the face, making him hit the pavement at Mach 5 and leave a trail of cracked concrete in his wake! “Did you forget that we exist?” The Colmare sneered. He turned and blasted a droid that was strangling Elwynn. “You okay, hon?”

“Never better! *cough*” Elwynn gasped. A forcefield appeared around him, as it did for every Author.

“Got everyone shielded, Kiff?”

“Yep!” Kiff replied, giving him a thumbs-up.

“Good. Socks, your headache gone?”

“Arf!” The grendel barked.

“Good boy--- now sick ‘em!”

The grendel panted and nodded, before turning to the drones; he increased in size, and began slamming into droids and chomping on drones! “He turns into a giant gorilla dog. Cool.” Tsuki commented.

“Can I pet him??” ATF asked in glee.

The villain stood up, glaring. He then straightened his shoulders, and small gun-barrels popped out, shooting blasts of lasers at the Colmare, while a spike went for Kiff. Terrence caught it, bending and twisting it until it broke off--- while tiny laser-blasts bounced off his biceps. “Can you stop with the lasers? They irritate my skin,” The Colmare called to the villain.

“C’mon, guys, stop hogging all the fun. What are we supposed to do?” Fanatic asked.

“Well, you can start by saying ‘thank you’,”

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome!”

The Authors paused, beginning to hear music play. “Oh great. It’s begun.” Zane commented.

“Looks like this is going to get interesting,” The villain replied, and clicked a remote. Robots like the one from the first episode charged out. “Let’s see how long you ‘tough guys’ can hold out,”

Terrence chuckled. “Alright, alright…” he said, then began to sing because we need a music number during a crisis, I guess.

_Terrence:_ **~I see what’s happening, yeah**

**You’re face-to-face with a Colmare and it’s strange,**

**You keep bringing in your robots---**

**It’s adorable!**

**Well, it’s nice to see that villains never change…**

As the robots attacked, Terrence merely smacked one into another, while blasting a hole in a line of drones! The villain shot spikes towards him, but he sliced through them with Emberblade.

_Terrence:_ **~Call on your mechs, lets begin**

**(Yes, I’m a Tier 0, take it in!)**

**I know it’s a lot--- the hair, the bod…**

**When you’re taking on a demigod!**

His symbols glowed, and he let off a shield of energy, blowing up several droids! He then flew up in the air, smashing through drones while hurling them towards the villain, who dodged… ending up set on fire by Socks! He knocked the Grendel back and beat out the flames.

_Terrence: ~_ **Well what can I say except, ‘You’re welcome!’**

**For blasting your drones out of the sky!**

**Hey it’s okay to say, ‘You’re welcome!’**

**I mean, you’re dealing with an awesome demi-guy!**

Droids began to surround Kiff, but Terrence landed beside him and shot them down.

_Terrence:_ **~Hey!**

**Guess who in my world trained the Chaos Light** * _thumbs at Socks*_

 **When you were waddling this high?** * _gestures his hand low*_

 **This guy!** * _thumbs at himself*_

**Who sent our foes on the run**

**After ripping out their commander’s tongue?**

**You’re looking at him, son!** * _Kiff cringes in mild disgust*_

More drones swarm around them, but Puggsy hacks at each one with Emberblade, while Socks--- back in his normal form--- runs and jumps on several, blasting them with blue fire channeled through Hexagonas and even riding a pair of them as if they were air-skates!

 _Terrence **: ~**_ **Now, I’m helping fight this asshole** * _blocks an attack by the villain*_

**(you’re welcome!)**

**Who’s probably hellbent on ruling the world~**

“Not really--- oof!” The villain began to retort, only to get punched in the throat!

_Terrence:_ **~It’s no different than the fights in my zone**

**Except with a lot of easily breakable drones!**

He leaped into the air (stepping on the villain’s face as he did) as he swung Emberblade, channeling a blast of energy into an arc and taking out more of the bigger robots. Socks leaped down and sliced one in half, whooping and hollering.

One of the drones ended up knocking Kiff upside the head, shutting down the forcefields he was conjuring. The robots attacked the Authors… but this time, they were able to get an upperhand and fight back--- mainly because Terrence and Socks were taking out a good chunk of the mechs.

_Terrence:_ **~So what I can say except, ‘You’re welcome!’**

**For being a deux ex machina?**

**Oh it’s a day to say, ‘You’re welcome!’**

**As I turn this bot into a pinata!** * _hits a robot so hard it explodes in the air… and candy falls out*_

**You’re welcome, you’re welcome…!**

“El, pause, I’m gonna break it down a bit,” Terrence said, and Elwynn made their foes pause.

_Terrence: **~**_ **Guys, honestly, I can go on and on**

**But I’m getting tired of singing this song**

**Destroying airships as big as this?**

**I can do it with a flick of a wrist.** _*takes out the legs of the airship, making it plummet before catching it and throwing it into the depths of space*_

**I have new powers, and they almost match Kiff’s!**

**And we left a lot of droids dead and miffed**

**Look at these powers,**

**We make anything happen!**

**He’s making those droids start tapping and tapping…!**

Elwynn unpaused everything, shaking his head and smirking. Everyone looked, seeing Kiff had somehow gained control of the droids and made them do a tap-dancing line (ATF in the middle of it having a swell time), as Terrence was tapping on a trash-can lid… before throwing it like a Frisbee at another bot and making it explode!

_Terrence (with mind-controlled droids as backup):_ **~So what can I say except, ‘You’re welcome!’**

**(You’re welcome!)**

**Now I think it’s time for the villain to hit the road**

**It’s okay, okay, ‘You’re welcome!’**

**Because Kiff’s gonna make them all EXPLODE!**

_*BOOM!*_ Kiff did just that! The villain looked around, finding his army was gone. He only looked at the Authors with mild irritation before lunging--- only for Kiff to blast him back, and Terrence to slice his mechanical arm off with his sword!

_Terrence:_ **~Oh, you’re welcome!**

**You’re welcome…~**

*BAM!*

Terrence punched the villain into the wall. “And it’s time for this music number to end.” He concluded.

“Thank God,” Ardent replied.

Everyone approached the villain, watching in shock as his arm grew back, and he clicked a remote. The ground began to shake, and out burst a tank that was built in the shape of a snake! The villain stood on the head of it, laughing. “You honestly think I’m going to be like your previous villains? I’ve been watching you… and it’s clear you all need some help from a ‘demigod’ or ‘hybrid child’ to stop my frickin’ robots.” He scoffed.

“Sounds like the words of a sore-loser to me,” Tsuki scoffed.

“Yeah, dude. Just introduce yourself, because you know we’ll be taking you on again,” Socks added.

The villain rolled his eyes. The snake-tank then spat something out, wrapping the Authors in some rope-like substance that burned! “Elwynn!” Terrence cried, flying down, only to get hit with the same stuff. The villain shot a spike out that went through his stomach, then noticed a gem implanted on his chest.

“Hmm… this seems important,” The villain replied, then started using another spike to pry it out!

“No--- NO!” Terrence cried.

Kiff gasped and shot a blast at the villain’s face; he then opened a portal and got Terrence away from him, seeing blood seeping out from the gem. “W-What is this thing?” he whispered.

“It’s the only thing keeping me from dying…!” Terrence grunted.

Kiff hyperventilated, then rested his palm on the gem; concentrating hard, he channeled his energy, making the wound heal fast and keep the gem sealed. The Colmare gasped, feeling it was easy to breathe, and he saw that the young Author had tears running down his face. “You okay, kid?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s just… Never mind, let’s just tear that guy apart!” Kiff replied, his eyes glowing bright as he was really, REALLY pissed.

“Heh, you read my mind without even trying,” Terrence then flexed hard, making the substance break off!

Elwynn stared, wide-eyed. “Hot damn…!” he exclaimed.

“We *ouch!* Gotta get *ow!* this stuff *gah!* Off!” Tracker grunted, trying to break out of the bonds, but the more she struggled, the more it burned!

“What is this stuff?!” Tsuki demanded.

“It’s *ow* Some sort of sticky, acidic material!” Wesley hissed. “Everyone stop squirming! The more you struggle, the worse it gets!” He took out his wand, trying to conjure a spell, but then flinched and dropped it. “OW! NEVER MIND! IT’S WORSE WHEN YOU HOLD STILL, TOO!”

Terrence and Kiff tried to use their powers to pry it off, but the material was stuck good. “Let them go!” Kiff yelled at the villain.

“Mm, no.” The villain replied smugly.

“You son of a---!”

At this point, Prynn came out. “I finished hiding all the--- oh!” she gasped, finding everyone in a compromising position. She then noticed a wand roll in front of her. She picked it up, and it seemed to shine to her touch. Seeing all her friends in trouble, something inside her stirred, and she waved the wand towards her friends.

Magic shot out in a golden light, enveloping the substance and making it disintegrate; not only that, but any burn-marks it left were quickly healed!

She looked at the wand, astounded. “Whoa… I didn’t know I could do that!”

Wesley walked over. “Well, everyone has a hidden---“ He looked up, seeing the villain shooting a spike right at her! “LOOK OUT!”

He grabbed her, pulling out of harm’s way. “Oh! Thank y---“ Prynn began to say, only to notice another spike heading right for him! “WATCH OUT!” She yanked him down, both of them ducking as the spike pierced a red car!

The two looked at each other smiling a bit, before turning their attention back on the bad guy. Wesley reached into his jacket and pulled out a spare wand. “I always carry an extra. Now lets hex the shit out of this asshole,”

“Agreement!” Scoobycool9 replied, as he and Zane took out their wands.

Without hesitation, all the Authors shot at the villain with lasers, magic, and everything else they could muster. But every time they knocked off a limb, melted a spike, or shot a spell at him, every part grew back, every wound healed, and the magic had no affect! “Ah, great. He’s regeneratable!” Kiff sneered.

“Everyone has a weakness. Look for it,” Elwynn advised.

“Shit. You guys fought too many lame-assed villains. Just face it--- you finally have a foe that you can’t defeat. Your determination is really taking the fun out of killing you,” The villain remarked.

“Just give us your name already, you prick.” Terrence sneered. “That way I can add it to my list of ‘Dumbasses Who Made The Mistake Of Hurting My Husbando’ list… and put it on your tombstone,”

The villain rolled his eyes. “I hate it when heroes want names. But fine. …From where I come from, I am known as Logan Bishop… but I hated that name. It didn’t seem to suit me. That’s why I murdered my parents and decided to get a new title,” He stood before the Authors. “I am the one who will kill you all. I am the one who will succeed in destroying this world, just for the sake of destruction. I am the villain that makes the most loathsome characters in all media look appealing…”

“I hate it when they drag it out…” WG said out of the corner of her mouth.

“You may all call me the master of your demise, and my name is Bate. _Master_ Bate!”

Everyone just froze. ATF began to snicker, Tsuki stifled a chuckle, WG bit her lip, and… well Socks just busted out laughing, and everyone else burst into guffaws. The villain only looked down at them, sneering.

“I’m sorry… could you repeat that?” Terrence smugly asked with a smirk.

The villain scowled. “I am Master Bate, the one who will take great pleasure out of your---“

“Oh, I bet you’ll have a LOT of pleasure!” Socks cracked.

“Shut up! I’ll penetrate you all with my---“

“Buy us dinner first!” Zane called, as Wesley was leaning against him with tears in his eyes.

“You’re all in for a long, hard, and disgusting death!”

“That’s what a lot of health organizations say!” Fanatic exclaimed.

“SHUT UP! I’M ABOUT TO FINISH YOU OFF!”

“Oh, I thought you were finishing off already!” WG quipped. Even Prynn was giggling!

“Tell me--- is the airship and snake-tank compensating for something??” Kiff snickered.

Master Bate began to pulse with red energy as he was provoked, his head twitching as he began to grow… okay, okay, I think that’s enough with the innuendo, guys! XD

Kiff and Terrence saw their chance--- Kiff opened a portal into space, and Terrence shot off a blast right into the villain’s chest, knocking him through the portal! “If he survives that, he’s not gonna be happy.” The Colmare stated.

The snake-tank beeped… then shot off out of the ground into the skies. “Looks like he’s calling his mode of transportation,” Wesley figured. “Where did you send him?”

“I opened a portal near the planet Pandora; unless that snake-tank is super-fast, it’ll be a while before he gets back,” Kiff replied, crossing his arms.

“Which Pandora? The one from _Avatar,_ the one from _Borderlands_ …?” Zane asked.

“…Yes.”

“In the meantime… I think we’d better work on upping our game. Terrence and Kiff won’t be around forever, so we really need to figure out who M--- *ahem* _that guy_ is, what his weakness is, and most importantly tell Mickey---“

“WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED?!” came a shout, and they looked and saw the famous mouse standing out front, his mouth agape.

The Authors exchanged looks. “Well… in case you didn’t notice… we got a new bad guy.” Tsuki replied with a shrug.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

While the Authors were backstage filling Mickey in on what happened (and a construction crew did repairs for the smashed buildings, broken hydrant, and gaping pit in the middle of the street), Kiff walked through the club, assuring the guests that everything was alright now.

“So we have _another_ insane psychopath hunting down the Authors?” Swaine sighed as he rubbed his face.

“I was hoping we could have avoided that recurring trope,” Hobbes groaned.

“Don’t worry, guys. We sent him packing, everyone is going to do some extra training, and everything is going to be okay,” Kiff replied.

Swaine’s eyes widened. “I don’t think I can say the same for you…”

“Wh---“

Kiff was grabbed by the shoulder, and turned to see Puggsy had returned… and looked pretty damn crossed. “Explain. NOW.” His father demanded.

“Well to put it bluntly, I’ve decided to become a security guard and help out around here.”

“Are you crazified?!”

“Hey, you’re the one who told me to find a job… so I found a job! Walter already gave me the ‘OK’ and everything!” He patted his father on the shoulder. “You know you can’t keep me out of danger forever, Dad.”

“Dad?!” Hobbes gasped.

“Whoa! You’re not a virgin??” Swaine gawked.

Puggsy rolled his eyes. “Alright, we know you guys are just ripping off those Kingdom Hearts fan comics about Sora finding out Goofy has a son. C’mon, did you expect me to be around since 1978 and NOT have a family at some point?”

Swaine shrugged. “Ah, you got us there.”

WG walked by just then. “Did you tell your dad yet, Kiff?” she asked.

“Yeah--- he’ll have to get used to it,” Kiff answered.

“That’s not surprising. Alright, well I’m heading back home. See you later, sweetie.”

“Yep. Bye mom!”

*CLANG!*

That sound effect came as Swaine and Hobbes’ jaws dropped… as well as everyone in listening distance. Several patrons were gawking. Kamoshida dropped a volleyball. Everyone slowly turned and looked at Puggsy.

“It’s a SURROGATE thing!” WG called from off-screen.

“Ohhhh…” Everyone replied.

Puggsy only facepalmed. “…I’m out of here,” he muttered.

Kiff shrugged. “Well, that went---“

“You’re grounded!”

“Dammit!”

Dan walked by rolling his eyes, stepping outside. He gasped, looking ahead and seeing his car was destroyed (again), and ran over. “My car…!” He surveyed the damage. “Circular hole in the windshield… piercing through the front and back seat…” He looked over his shoulder at the damage in the streets. “Signs of a battle…!” He clenched his fists, shaking with rage---

Before he could let out an outburst, Pinkie Pie came running up. “Oh, there you are, Dan! ATF wanted me to tell you that if you’re wondering who broke your car, it was because of this bad guy. …He couldn’t say his name without laughing, so he wrote it on a piece of paper.” She said, handing it to him.

“Oh, thanks. …Now where was I?” He looked at the paper, then let out his outburst. “MASTER BAAAAAAAATE!”

“Geez, dude. Go to horny jail or something,” Socks quipped as he, Terrence, and Elwynn passed by.

Dan arched an eyebrow. “…what?!” He shook his head, turning to Pinkie Pie. “Never mind. C’mon, we have to figure out who this guy is and get revenge! …what are you giggling for?!”

“Pfffft! Nothing! Hee hee hee!” Pinkie Pie was snickering, before climbing into the car, both she and Dan driving off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~In the depths of space~_

Bate floated through the vacuum of space… however he was still alive. His eyes glowed yellow, and he grinned viciously.

He wasn’t really planning on winning the battle. No, that would have just been a perk.

As the battle was raging on, he was analyzing each Author, gaining intel, finding their weaknesses.

He smirked. Unlike the other villains, he wasn’t going to plot an attack again and again. No, he was going to bide his time…

Then exploit those weaknesses.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kiff flew home later that night. As he was reaching the door, he paused as he sensed someone nearby. He looked down, seeing someone was standing by the window, looking in; through said window, Puggsy and his wife, Brielle, were talking.

Kiff flew down next to them. “Who are you?” he demanded.

The stranger gave a jolt. “Oh! Sorry. I’m a new neighbor.” He replied; he appeared to be somewhere around 10-13 years of age… and looked like ATF but with black eyes, his hair was styled differently, he wore a beat-up light-brown fedora, suspenders over a white shirt, black pants, and a dark blue, black, red, and tan scarf around his neck. “I was just eavesdropping--- the couple inside are having one heck of a conversation about their son’s future!”

Kiff rolled his eyes. “I bet they are… but that doesn’t quite answer my question. Who are you?”

The kid cocked his head, his hands on his hips. “I’m not allowed to give my name to strangers.”

He analyzed him, but it didn’t seem like the kid was a threat… yet. “Alright… My name is Kiff and I live here.”

“My name is Rylo, and that’s all I’m saying. See ya!” With that, the boy took off.

Kiff shook his head as he went inside. “What a weirdo,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Getting introduced to a lot of new characters this season, aren't we? ...just pray I don't lose track of anyone this time.


	4. Censorship Oppression (Part One!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I've noticed we have a lot of two-parties in this series, and some of them start early. 
> 
> In my defense... this chapter was running 12 pages long and I got hit by writer's block.
> 
> *cut to truck that says Writer's Block*
> 
> I'm hoping to get part 2 started soon, and the Halloween episode maaaay be a little late. It depends (then again would it matter? I mean this is a fic that can be read whenever; chances are someone is reading this story two years from now and the Halloween ep is being read on Christmas and the Christmas episode on Easter and Easter on karaoke night. 
> 
> Ah, mew. Hopefully my muse will return! On with the chapter!

_~Three Weeks Ago~_

Doctor Ann Possible took a heavy breath as she walked out of the kitchen, carrying a tray of three mugs filled with hot tea (one with oil) into the living room. She had to keep a cool front, not wanting to risk showing any signs of upsetting their ‘guest’.

Not that anyone would call a sociopathic homicidal robot who had crashed their daughter’s wedding and tried to kill several people a ‘guest’; but apparently, according to her husband James, the mechanical menace was not here to cause harm.

Rather, he was distraught and in need of answers.

She set the tray on the coffee table, as the robot sat across from James. She set the mug of oil in front of the robot. “Thank you,” he replied, sipping it. He coughed a bit, covering his mouth. Ann looked at him a bit cautiously, but he gave her a reassuring wave. “I-It’s fine… this is just the first time I’ve drunk anything outside of energon.”

“Well, as long as it doesn’t shut down your system,” James answered. He cleared his throat. “Now then… where should we start?”

“The beginning, mainly about why I was created…” The robot rubbed his head, realizing something. “I know I was mass-assembled by Tempus, when he cloned my design--- the first Hater79 clone was reduced to a half-melted zombie-bot back in Season 1, but there were many more clones planted inside the basement. I was in charge of placing them there…”

_*Mini-Flashback!*_

‘My orders were to activate one clone at a time, for whenever one was destroyed…”

_The robot was pushing a crate into place, only for the top of it to burst off; an activated, hyper-aggressive Hater79 bot jumped out, throwing him inside the box and running off. Suddenly the box falls back over and he rolls out in front of Goofy._

_“Oh, there you are, Fanatic…!” Goofy was saying, but the robot ended up taking off._

_He climbed into a hiding spot, watching as the clone ran out of the basement--- flipping him the bird in the process--- and went off to the base._

_…_

“But one day… well, things didn’t go quite as planned.”

_“There are more Authors in the basement. Hater79-345 is dealing with Fanatic97. Activate a clone to take out his friends.” Tempus ordered through a transmitter._

_“Yes sir,” The original replied, hitting a button… then flinched. “Oh, shit! I hit ‘Activate All’!”_

_“What?! How can you make such a mistake?!”_

_“Look, it’s not MY fault someone put the ‘Active One” right next to the ‘Activate All’, button. This new touch-screen technology is difficult to manage!” A shock of electricity shot through him, making him gasp in pain._

_“Watch the attitude! …Hmph, it does not matter. As long as those Authors are disposed of, then we can move on to the next phase of the plan.”_

_The robot paused. “What exactly is the---“_

_BZZZT!_

_“Agh!”_

_“Stop questioning things and get back to the base!”_

_The robot panted a bit, before making his way to the exit. It was a long process, as he had to sneak through the shadows, watching as the Authors and clones fought one another. By the time he reached the stairs, the basement was flooding with lava! He had to climb up and hide on the rafters, watching as the Authors broke open the door to get out._

_When he returned to the base, he learned that every clone was defeated. He was hooked up to a machine, told that he would absorb all the information they had gathered._

_His mind turned to static, and all he had in mind was to destroy Fanatic97._

_…_

_He was frozen some time later, and locked inside the freezer. As he remained frozen, all he could do was think._

_He thought about all the information transferred into his storage from every clone that was defeated… and Fanatic had been fighting clones for years. But there was something else beyond all that data; the longer he was encased in ice, the more he tried to unearth the encrypted information._

_By the time he was unfrozen, his homicidal tendencies had been watered down._

_He ended up getting drunk… and somehow in his haze, something seemed to surface. For some reason he enjoyed hanging around a crazy 13-year-old._

_When he was sent through a portal to a human-trafficking base… seeing so many children in distress… the inhumane, perverted, ungodly things they were being put through…_

_Only then did his violent nature reach its maximum limit, and every fucked-up piece-of-shit human who was there was reduced to a mutilated corpse, blood and organs spilled everywhere._

_But his goal to go after the Authors came first, and he pushed aside his feelings--- up until Calvin was thrown off the roof (for who-knows-what-reason), and his newfound instincts kicked in and he rushed to save him…_

_(He refused to remember ‘the kiss’.)_

_When Fanatic turned dark… he was honestly frightened. Not just because he was about to be melted by Blot-Fan in a slow and painful death (okay, well, that was 95% of the reason), but also because the dark-ego was too much like himself--- violent, aggressive, and only focused on killing his enemy._

_It was not until he was sent to the hidden lab that… much like Fanatic’s ‘Blot’ identity… that was not his true self._

_*End Flashback sequence*_

“…once I found all those old recordings, I started to remember. But I can’t remember enough,” the robot was saying to the Possible parents. “I was invented to protect someone… I think it was Fanatic, but for what reason?”

Ann and James looked at each other. James turned back to the robot. “It’s a long story… The Daedalus Project was an experiment in which robots were built to protect children who had Author capabilities. Fanatic was the first child selected, and you were the first robot created. He saw you like a brother, especially since we made you both look alike so that outside sources would just believe you were just a relative. He called you ‘Daedalus’.”

The robot rubbed his head. “There was a clip… of how I… c-crushed his skull…”

James sighed. “That was our fault. …Tempus had come along; for some reason, he wanted to destroy Fanatic, and any other Author--- maybe even the world itself. The higher-ups made us send you after him--- make him believe you were Fanatic, destroy his spark, and protect everyone. But we underestimated how powerful he was. I wouldn’t even allow my own daughter to take the mission! When you returned, we found out too late you had been corrupted. …Thankfully, thanks to his Author abilities, Fanatic managed to survive--- but his memories of the time you shared did not. All he could remember was that you tried to kill him.”

“Are… are you crying?” Ann gasped, seeing oil dribbling out of the robot’s eyes.

“No… *sniffle* I think this oil you gave me went down the wrong pipe!” The robot whimpered; Ann gave him a tissue and he wiped his eyes. He looked at James. “What… what should I do now? After all that’s happened… and Fanatic’s all grown up now…”

“Hey, I’d say as long as you’re not trying to kill or destroy anyone or anything, I would say you have the opportunity to find a new purpose.” James answered with a shrug. “It’s clear you’re no longer corrupted, and with Tempus gone there’s no one trying to control you. You’re a free man--- er, robot!”

The robot nodded, standing up. “Thank you for your help. I still have a lot to think about, but… at least my mind is a little clearer now.” With that, he walked out of the house.

The Possible parents stood in the doorway, watching him leave.

“It seems like he’s returning to normal, isn’t he?” Ann whispered to her husband.

“I certainly hope so,” James answered, and they went back inside. “…you know it just dawned on me we didn’t drink any of our tea,”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Present Time~_

_(Yay! Presents!)_

_[Not THAT kind of present, you doof!]_

_(Awww… *sadness*)_

Elwynn, Terrence, Socks, and Tracker stood backstage twenty minutes before their shift began. They had arrived early, as Mickey stated that he wanted all staff members to be at the club before opening, mainly for an announcement.

“I’m sure you all have gotten the message, but due to the incidents of the past, the censors are going to be coming by for an inspection often. They’re very strict in their policies, and---“ Mickey began.

“And will expect us to appeal to social groups and remove anything that they deem ‘offensive’. Yeah, we remember _those_ yuppies,” Tracker replied, polishing her shot-gun. “Bastards tried taking away our weapons during a crisis just because they wanted to initiate gun control,”

“Geez, they sound like Bone! …Is their leader a humanoid white eleroo, by any chance?” Socks asked.

“Please, everyone, this is serious!” Mickey spoke up. “If they have new policies, we have to follow them!”

“No matter how stupid they are?” Terrence asked.

“No matter how stupid,”

“Do you know what kind of policies they want to initiate?” Elwynn inquired.

“If they say we all have to do endorsements, they’ve got another thing coming…” Socks muttered… then ripped open his shirt showing a pink tank-top that had the Rakata Coffee logo on it, grinning. “I’m already under a different contract!” 

A dove shot out of his jacket next, a trail of sparkles behind it. “Think Pink!” it chirped as it flew away.

Mickey and Tracker blinked. “Did that just happen, or is there a gas-leak in here?” The she-wolf asked.

“Er… um… I-I’m not quite sure what kind of policies they have. I think they’re focusing on health, safety and social behavior.” Mickey answered, focusing back on the plot. “Speaking of which, is WG working tonight? They said they want to talk to her specifically,”

“Nope, she’s got the night off and is spending it with Zane,” Tracker answered. “…And considering they barely get to see each other outside of work, whatever the Censor Monkeys want to talk about had better be pretty damn important, cuz if she has to postpone even five minutes of reading _Beastars_ with her boyfriend for some dumb reason, she’s gonna be explaining to the police why there’s another chalk outline of a dead body on the sidewalk! …Her words, not mine.”

“Whoa! And I thought Pugs was hostile when he and El’s ‘alone time’ gets interrupted!” Socks commented. Terrence smacked him with his hat.

“Er… I’ll just have them contact her tomorrow, then.” Mickey replied, awkwardly.

“Don’t worry, Mickey, we’ll be on our best behavior.” Tracker assured him.

He gave them a look. “And your best behavior would be…?”

“Usually how we always act,”

Mickey sighed, facepalming.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Five minutes before the club opened, the Censor Monkeys arrived. Walter greeted them at the door. “Welcome to the House of Mouse! You must be the censors. What might your names be?” he asked, shaking their hands.

“I am Benedict. These are my associates, Reginald and Janice.” The first one replied, introducing his partners. “And you must be the animated personification of Walt Disney,”

“Yes, I am---“

“I will have you know, sir, that times have changed since your creator passed away. Women have more rights and are not to be deemed as helpless victims nor obedient housewives, racial stereotypes are heavily frowned upon, and voice-actors have more recognition!” Janice haughtily stated. “So don’t think that just because you are managing things here, that you can try to push your old ideas onto others!”

Walter blinked, before responding. “Ma’am, anyone who holds onto the issues of the past rather than focusing on the progress made in the present will not see the future as anything but bleak. To automatically criticize someone solely based on conduct held by peoples in the past shows signs of poor judgment. There shall be no room for prejudice behavior in this establishment.”

“We are pleased to hear that.” Reginald replied. “That was just a test to see how well you act under pressure.”

“We certainly hope the rest of your staff are just as calm and collect,” Janice added.

“It is important an establishment and company are run by individuals who have a calm head on their shoulders.” Benedict stated. “Anxiety leads to stress, and stress leads to foul conduct.”

“I have plenty of faith in those I work with,” Walter assured them.

“Very good. Then you do not mind if we employ a co-manager to ensure proper policies are implemented.” Reginald assumed.

“Co-manager? I do not think that is necessary. Mickey, Oswald and I---“

“Could use another assistant, as it has come to our attention you are having difficulty keeping your rowdy security team in-line.” Janice interrupted. “How many guards do you have working here?”

“Well, I know that three of our new recruits and a veteran guard are on duty tonight. But, even though their behavior is a bit on the crazy side, keep in mind the enemies they have had to face were---“

“Wait, you only have four security guards per shift?! That will not do at all!” Benedict gasped. “Since the establishment has expanded, you must have at least seven guards scheduled for each night.”

“Lack of security tends to be the reason behind many felonies, injuries, damages, and jailbreaks.” Reginald added.

“You have precisely ten minutes to call in three more guards, or else you shall face a negative citation.” Janice informed. “Five bad citations, and we will be forced to shut down your establishment.”

Walter inhaled through his nostrils, keeping a straight face despite he was getting a bit miffed. “I will have you know---“

“Sorry we’re late!” came a call, as Prynn, Tsuki, and Dragongirl (with Sky Flame) came running in through a portal. The princess-in-waiting was wearing a black fluffy dress with dark-green leggings, her hair braided back and twisted into a bun, a silver tiara with an emerald on top of her head. “We got this month’s schedule mixed up with last month’s--- thankfully, my brother brought it up and reminded us all!”

“…which sucks, because we were in the middle of _Into The Spiderverse,”_ Sky Flame grimaced.

“You’ve seen that movie 12 times already!” Dragongirl scoffed.

“It’s still annoying when you’re at an intense moment and you get called into work!”

“…The rest of our team is here!” Walter finished, turning to the censors with a grin.

“Is that Wherever--- oh, no, she’s in a dress and is not wielding a deadly weapon, never mind.” Reginald began to ask, adjusting his glasses.

“Very well. Now then, the co-manager we have assigned you shall be arriving momentarily.” Benedict answered, giving Walter a look. “See to it her expectations are met.” With that, the three of them walked away. “We shall be in the dining area.”

The four guards looked at Walter. “So, what are the dictators trying to enforce now?” Tsuki asked.

Walter sighed. “I’ll fill you in, come on.” he replied.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Once the whole staff got a briefing of the situation, it was a safe bet no one was thrilled about the censors choosing a new manager. (…though, since _everyone_ placed the same bet, no one really won any big bucks.)

“So who did they hire?” Donald asked.

“Someone who doesn’t remind me of the worst side of Tumblr, I hope.” Daisy commented.

“They gave me this card. Apparently, they hired someone by the name of…” Oswald replied, squinting as he looked at the card. “Delores Um… hmm… Umbrella!”

“Umbrella?” The others questioned, looking at each other, confused.

“Oswald, put your glasses on!” Ortensia ordered.

“Oh, fine!” Oswald grabbed a pair of shot-glasses and stuck them over his eyes, then held up the card. “Ah! I see now… the new manager is supposedly called, Delores Umbridge!”

“Excuse us,” Elwynn responded, and everyone grabbed a glass of water, took a sip…

* ** _SSPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!*_**

Mickey and the rest of the staff had donned raincoats and shielded themselves in umbrellas from the tidal wave of a spit-take. “I take it this person isn’t exactly adored,” Walter deadpanned.

“Are you kidding?! Umbridge is pretty much the most hated character in the _Harry Potter_ franchise!” Dragongirl exclaimed. “Even people who haven’t read the books or seen the movies think she’s despicable!”

“I think I had her for a math teacher once in my universe.” Socks commented.

“What was she like there?” Tracker asked.

“I hate math with a dying passion, does that tell you anything?”

“…Ah.”

“Should we call in the rest of the wizards of the security team? They might know how to deal with her,” Terrence asked.

“And have even MORE people suffer?! Are you daft, man?!” Sky Flame exclaimed.

“Guys, guys, don’t worry. I’m sure this will all work out fine,” Mickey replied. “I mean, Umbridge can’t be as bad as she is in canon.”

The doors opened just then, and in walked a portly woman whose face was like that of a toad, and was clad in a pink petticoat and long skirt. AKA, Delores Umbridge. “Hello, I am your new fellow manager.” She introduced herself.

*ZIP!*

The rest of the staff, minus Mickey, Walter, Oswald, and Prynn, fled the scene. “…Oh, come on!” the famous mouse sneered.

Umbridge approached him, looking around the establishment, her expression pleasant but a look in her eye showed she was judging everything around her. “I was told this place was known for giving everyone a warm welcome. That did not seem very welcoming,” she commented.

“Oh! Um, the rest of the staff were, ah, very eager to get to work!”

“Do not stammer! That happens to be a sign of an anxious host. You do not have anything to be anxious about, do you?”

“Not at all!”

“ _Not at all…?”_

“Not at all… ma’am?”

“That’s better.”

“(oh, crap, we’re going to be in hot water all night.)” Oswald muttered under his breath.

Umbridge shot him a look. “What was that?”

“Nothing, ma’am!”

“Welcome to the club, Miss Umbridge.” Prynn said in a polite tone. “I am Prynn Cess, one of the security guards. If there is anything you deem suspicious, call upon us at once.”

“Oh, I shall my dear. I shall.” Umbridge replied with promise. “…But if you are a guard, why are you not at your post with the rest?”

Prynn cocked her head. “Are guards not supposed to be stationed at different locations, in order to properly survey the area?” She looked around. “There are more than a few ways for nefarious characters to sneak in, after all.”

“Hmm, smart girl. …Just don’t get TOO smart. Return to your duties,”

Prynn gave a courteous nod before walking away.

“So! The Censors said something about some new policies,” Walter said, clapping his hands together. “Would you like to talk them over with us?”

Umbridge gave a grin. “Oh yes. We have _much_ to discuss,”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“I’m telling you, the similarities are uncanny!” Kiff was stating, sitting at a table with Ryuji Sakamoto, Junpei Iori, and Kanji Tatsumi from the _Persona_ series.

“Oh come on, they’re not _that_ alike!” Ryuji replied.

Joshua Phrygianos walked out of the kitchen, the young chef helping wait tables; he set down their orders. “What are you guys talking about?” he asked.

“Kiff-san says there’s a lot of dynamics between _Persona 5_ and the _Harry Potter_ books,” Junpei answered.

“How so?”

“Let’s see… The main protagonist has messy black hair and glasses, the main villain is bald, the system is corrupt, Ryuji is the best friend who comes from a humble home, they have a pair of twins…” Kiff was listing off the top of his head.

“Don’t forget the small mascot character that’s both helpful but annoying,” Socks added, jumping into the conversation.

“And Goro is definitely Snape,” Tsuki added.

“Goro is NO WAY Snape! …Is he?” Kanji questioned.

“No!” Ryuji retorted.

“Well… both were pretty much traitors, and the fanbase is divided between those who like him and those who hate him--- otherwise I’d say he’s more like Draco.” Terrence surmised. He then looked at Kiff. “…Aren’t you off the clock tonight?”

“Yeah, but I thought I’d treat the guys to a night out,” Kiff replied.

“How come?”

“…We all had a videogame tournament, and the loser had to treat everyone to a free dinner. How’s the plot going?”

“So far, tensions are high. Umbridge got hired to be the new manager,” Socks sneered.

“Ha, how ironic is it that we’re talking about Harry Potter, and a character happens to be--- did you say Umbridge?!” Junpei questioned.

“Oh shit, you’re in for a wild ride.” Kiff muttered, taking a sip from his glass. “Any ideas?”

“I’m working on one as we speak,” Tsuki replied with a grin.

Kiff grinned back. “I like it already,”

Terrence smirked as well. “Me too,”

Socks, Ryuji, Junpei, Kanji and Joshua exchanged looks. “Ya mind filling in those who _don’t_ have telepathy?” Joshua remarked.

“Sorry, spoilers. Let’s go, boys!” Tsuki exclaimed and left with Terrence and Socks.

The others looked at Kiff. “…Okay, we’ll split the ticket if you tell us what’s going down!” Junpei replied.

“Just eat your food before it gets cold,” Kiff replied with a sly smile.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“…And those are my policies,” Umbridge finished stating as she sat backstage with Mickey, Oswald and Walter.

The three managers had written down her policies, and were relieved to find they did not look TOO restrictive. They were as followed:

  * **Include an Employee Lounge in order to prevent staff from intermingling with the guests on breaks.**
  * **No use of spells by non-magical persons.**
  * **Villains are to be on strict probation at all times, no exceptions.**
  * **No unattended children or pets; this includes staff members who are under the age of 18.**
  * **Safety escorts for those who get drunk at the bar.**
  * **No public displays of affection by employees while on the job.**
  * **Any illegal immigrants found to be employed must have a work-visa, or else be deported from whence they came.**



“Why can’t any staff members interact with guests?” Oswald questioned.

“Based on a survey about a couple of your ‘security guards’ wanting autographs from certain characters,” Umbridge answered. “Getting caught up in a fan frenzy is very distracting to everyone, and often ends in a lawsuit.”

“And the rule forbidding non-magic people from using spells?” Walter inquired.

“Oh, you know how that goes. A muggle dabbles in the dark artes and summons all sorts of trouble. Magic should only be used by the professionals,”

“How about the one about public displays of affection?” Mickey asked.

“What your employees do off the clock should remain off the clock. Not to mention, too much physical interaction amongst couples is irresponsible, and would result in a bad citation for ‘inappropriate conduct while on duty’.”

“Fine. We’ll talk to our staff about it,” Oswald sighed, rolling his eyes once Umbridge turned away.

“Oh, by the way, the censors wished to speak with one of your guards--- one named ‘Luna Southerland’, or as her alias reads, ‘Wherever Girl’.”

“She has the night off. She’ll be working next---“ Mickey began to state.

“Scheduled to work or not, it is mandatory they speak with her. Now call her here!”

“Okay, okay… (it’s your funeral, lady).” Oswald muttered, taking out his phone.

“Excuse me?”

“Hold on, it’s ringing.” Oswald tapped his foot. “Wherever Girl! Hey, we were wondering if you could drop by real quick? The censors are here and want to have a word with you. …Alright! See you then.” He then hung up. “She’ll be here in five minutes.”

“Why do they want to speak to Wherever Girl so badly?” Mickey asked… while hoping and praying it had nothing to do with a lawsuit based on her violent behavior in the previous season.

“That is something only they are to disclose.” Umbridge replied, walking away. “Until then, I am going to check on the security tea--- eek!”

Umbridge took two steps back, hand to her chest and hyperventilating. The others followed her gaze, seeing a pair of redheaded twins--- Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachin--- hanging out by Daisy’s desk. “Miss Umbridge, are you alright?” Walter asked.

“Fine! Perfectly fine!” Umbridge answered, straightening herself out. “If you’ll excuse me, I will be in the office. See to it you speak with the rest of your staff about our new policies,” with that, she walked off… quickening her pace as she looked back at the twins.

“What was THAT all about?” Mickey questioned, arching an eyebrow. “She just looked towards the front desk and bolted!”

Tsuki dropped in through a portal behind them. “She has a twin phobia,”

“AUGH!” Oswald and Mickey yelped, leaping into Walter’s arms.

“Don’t _do_ that!” Oswald wheezed.

“How did you find out?” Walter asked.

“I read her mind. Apparently Fred and George Weasley’s shenanigans did a number on her, so now every time she sees a set of twins she immediately excuses herself to put some distance between them,” Tsuki answered with a smug grin.

“Good thing we asked for another cameo, ne?” Kaoru stated as they walked by.

“Funny how things work out,” Hikaru agreed.

“Hold it--- you mean you’re going to use someone’s phobia against them?” Walter questioned in a scolding tone.

“Only when she acts like a vicious dictator,” Tsuki replied with an innocent shrug.

“...Very well. But don’t exploit it too much!”

“Right--- she might get used to it,” Oswald joked.

“No promises. … Keep on stand-by, boys.” Tsuki said to the twins. “This may not be your only guest appearance,”

“A hero’s work is never done,” The Hitachin twins quipped in unison, walking away.

Mickey wiped his forehead. “This is going to be tough,”

“You want tough? Try being a janitor in 2020,” WG stated as she walked in through a portal.

The three managers gawked. The authoress had scratches on her neck, a bruise on her face, a bite-mark on her arm, and her hair was a mess. “Holy snap! Did you get mugged or something?!” Oswald gasped.

“Huh? …Oh, no. I just got out of another fight.”

“W-Where was Zane? I thought he was with you on a date!”

WG shrugged. “Well, apparently he and Wes had to fix up the TARDIS--- since there’s 2 Time Lords driving it, it’s gotten a little wonky. …Currently, they’re in the middle of the war of 1812.” She cracked her neck. “Alright, lead me to the censors and lets get this over with.”

“Ah, um, m-maybe you should clean yourself up first--- you know, good impressions and all that.” Mickey advised, leading her towards a bathroom.

“Okay, but if they didn’t like seeing my face last time, I don’t see how this time would be any different!”

As WG walked away, Mickey and Oswald exchanged a look. “…maybe we should have told them she called in sick.” The latter murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We shall continue the "Harry Potter/Persona 5" debate after these messages. (sparkly pigeon flies by then explodes into mini marshmallows)
> 
> *Rakata Coffee-- Think Pink!*


	5. Censorship Oppression (Part Two!)

_~Meanwhile in another plot device~_

The robot walked through the long-abandoned laboratory; ever since he spoke with James Timothy Possible, he decided to go through the forgotten lab one more time to see if there was anything he overlooked. So far, there were just old documents that had been yellowed and worn out beyond reading, blue-prints that were half-torn or crumpled, and prototypes for the first iPhone, but nothing about the Daedalus Project, or any Author children who were assigned a robot.

He sat down a moment, thinking back; he remembered when he tracked Fanatic, Tracker and ATF to another abandoned lab (which had long exploded due to their fight), and thus how they discovered another robot that was similar to him--- and how it immediately activated in order to protect the immortal teen.

 _I wonder if he was part of the project as well?_ The robot thought, rubbing his chin as he stood up and paced around the lab. He considered contacting the other robot, but considering the fellow-droid had tried to incinerate him for trying to kill ATF [again], chances are he would not be willing to give the reformed-antagonist the time of day.

Finding nothing, he left the lab and traversed to another location; it took a few days to reach his next location, but when you’re a robot, time doesn’t exactly affect you… unless you’re waiting for the new season of your favorite show to start streaming, but other than that a two-week trek across a barren landscape felt like a thirty minute hike.

It was well after sundown as he stepped up to the crater that was once Tempus’ lair. The final battle at the base must have been one heck of a fight, he guessed, as the entire place seemed to have been blown to smithereens; scraps of metal were all that remained of the drones that had once been part of Tempus’ army.

He gave a flinch when he saw the rusted exoskeletons that had been Mors and Shuck; it looked as if the two not only lost a fight, but had their parts removed… for what reasons, he did not really want to know. He walked over, giving one of them a kick, watching as the remains fell apart in a series of clangs, crashes, and clinks.

He continued to root around the lair; perhaps if he were lucky, he could find an old motherboard and hack into it, perhaps uncover some encrypted files that would prove useful for his search.

After three hours of searching, he took a break, leaning against a wall…

Which suddenly caved in, revealing another level of the lab; it was charred and smelled of burned oil, but he recalled this was the assembly room. All around were incomplete drones that would never have the chance to be used for combat, each one blackened or rusted beyond function.

Up ahead was a large metal door that had an “UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DENIED” sign welded on it. From what the robot could recall, this room was off-limits to everyone, even Tempus’ most trusted subordinates.

He kicked it, and one of the doors fell inward. Time to find out what his “old boss” had been hiding.

The room was pitch-black, and he turned on his flashlight optics; the room was so dark that even the slightest bit of illumination helped him see… and he froze.

_TEMPUS?!_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Back at the House of Mouse~_

…because of COURSE we cut back to our main heroes after a cliffhanger like that. 9_9

“So far it’s been a pretty chill night,” Terrence stated as he surveyed the club from the catwalk with Socks and Elwynn; he turned to the latter. “You think we’re just doing a filler-episode?”

“Something’s bound to happen. I’ve read this series, and some whack-job always comes in to cause havoc!” Elwynn assured, drumming his fingers on the railing. “…though if something doesn’t happen soon, we may just end up clocking out early SOCKS PUT THOSE AWAY!”

Socks was holding a sack of potatoes, preparing to drop one on someone’s head. “But I’m boooooored! And I haven’t done anything potato-related since we got here!”

“Whatever. Terrence, anything going on with Um-Bitch?”

“She’s starting to calm down from her twin-terror and will be back out soon,” Terrence answered, reading the witch’s mind; he then looked over. “…in other news, _holy shit_ does Bilbo Baggins have issues with his relatives.”

“You’re having too much fun with those mind-reading powers, aren’t you?”

Terrence looked at Elwynn, giving his husband a sly smirk. “Only when I read _your_ mind, darling~”

Elwynn blushed, returning the sly grin. “Then you’ll know what I have in store for us after work~”

“Read my mind next! Read my mind next!” Socks exclaimed giddily.

“I would, but the number is out of service,” the Colmare replied with an eye-roll. Socks only sneered… then just threw the sack of potatoes over the railing. “SOCKS!”

“Hey, if you read my mind, you would have known I was going to do that!”

They watched as the sack of potatoes fell, landing in Alexander Von Hell’s borsche, splattering it on his face; he stood up, his scar glowing bright as he summoned his scythe. “ALRIGHT! WHO’S THE WISE GUY?!”

Terrence glared at Socks, while Elwynn face-palmed. “…Better go check on the rest of the cast while we resolve this issue, folks.” The time-bender told the reader.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Mickey and Oswald had finished introducing the next cartoon, walking backstage just as the Censor Monkeys came forth. “We were informed Wherever Girl would be here. Has she arrived yet?” Benedict asked as they walked with the two managers towards the dining hall.

“She’s freshening up in the bathroom, she should be out very soon.” Mickey assured them, while hoping and praying WG’s cartoon-powers involved quick-healing.

“Very well, we shall wait out front. We were going to wait in the dining area, but a sack of potatoes had fallen from the ceiling and landed in someone’s food!” Reginald stated.

“*sigh* Either Calvin and Hobbes ran out of water-balloons, or the Warner Siblings are pulling some shenanigans again. We’ll look into it,” Oswald answered.

“Speaking of which, we SHOULD speak to those characters about their reboot,” Benedict stated to his comrades.

“Benedict, I wish to reach middle-age.” Reginald sighed haughtily.

“MY GOODNESS!” Janice exclaimed, making the managers and her comrades give a jolt! She then stormed forth; the others followed, and she pointed a finger at Kamoshida. “What on earth is THIS MAN doing here?!”

Kamoshida--- who had been sitting on a chair off-set, reading a sports magazine while eating a sandwich--- paused as he looked up. “…I thought I wasn’t _in_ this episode.” He stated to Mickey.

“(Ad-lib, we’re on a deadline.)” Mickey whispered.

“(We have deadlines?)” Oswald questioned; Mickey nudged him, and he cleared his throat, going along with the scene. “Uh, what’s the problem?”

“We can’t have characters like him hanging around!” Janice huffed. “It would make everyone uncomfortable!”

Kamoshida blinked. “I just saw two guys from _Seikon no Qwaser_ get a cameo!”

“Yes, but I have no idea what that is.”

“Look, Janice, he’s just being used for a running gag. He’s going to be off-screen most of the time!” Oswald stated.

“Lucky bastard,” Swaine stated as he and Puggsy randomly walked by.

“Watch your language!” Benedict hollered at him.

“It does not matter! His character is highly inappropriate and would be considered offensive,” Janice argued.

“…geez, I get enough of this shit from the fandom…” Kamoshida muttered under his breath. “Look, lady, I’m not doing anything offensive.”

“Yeah, he’s not hurting anyone--- unless they drop a pun.” Oswald added.

“It is the reputation factor we need to be careful of! Having him around would cause many women to feel afraid to come by, if they knew you allowed villains like this access to your club!” Janice stated firmly.

“Quite right, his character DID do some lecherous things,” Reginald agreed.

“Not to mention the lewd attire he had to wear,” Benedict added with a shudder.

Kamoshida gave a deadpanned look. “You know, I have a life _outside_ the game. Just because I play a heinous villain doesn’t mean that’s my true identity!”

“It is still inappropriate! Name one young woman who would not be triggered by such a vulgar character!” Janice questioned.

Right at this moment, WG came out of the bathroom… wearing a clean T-shirt that read “Yaoi Addict”, torn jeans, and listening to music on a pair of kitty-headphones… and singing along to it. “ _Face down, ass up! That’s the way we like to fuck! I said face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck!”_

The Censor Monkeys gawked, doing the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” gestures; Oswald bit down on his fist; and Mickey… pretty much started getting his job resume ready.

“There’s one,” Kamoshida said with a smirk, before walking away.

WG paused, taking off her headphones. “Oh, there you guys are. Sorry I took so long.” She replied, clapping her hands together. “So! What did you need to see me about?”

“Er… um… L-Let’s speak in private!” Reginald sputtered, and they walked backstage; WG shrugged and followed.

Oswald turned to Mickey. “You know, I think we forgot to tell her not to abuse the ‘M’ rating!” he stated in realization.

Mickey rubbed his face, having a deadpanned expression. “Oswald… Shut. Up.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

With Dragongirl and Sky Flame, they were video-calling the rest of their friends, all who decided to meet up in a private studio rented out by the co-author just so no one risked their screens freezing up for something important; the only ones not there were Zane and Wes, who were still in the middle of the war of 1812.

“Question, why are we meeting here?” Ardent asked.

“Because I don’t think anyone with an ounce of sense would step into a studio run by Fanatic.” Tea answered.

“Wait, what?” Sky Flame questioned, arching an eyebrow.

In the background, Fanatic and his version of Charlie Emily ran by. “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! HE’S LOOSE! GET THE TAZER!” the co-author was yelling.

Dragongirl and Sky Flame looked at each other awkwardly. “Ooookay…” the former stated.

“What’s the situation like at the club?” Zane asked; currently he and Wes were hiding in a ditch, cannons being fired in the background.

“The Censor Monkeys employed Delores Umbridge as a manager, and from what Walter told us, she’s got some strict guidelines everyone has to follow,” Sky Flame answered.

“Excuse us,” Wes said, as he and Zane simultaneously took a sip from a couple sodas--- then did a spit take over to the connecting video, the spray ending up covering the screen! Tea hit a button, making a little windshield wiper clean away the mist.

“DELORES UMBRIDGE?! Did those madmen decide to just skip the background checks?!” Zane sputtered. He rubbed his face, taking a heavy breath. “Okay, okay… we can’t panic! What kind of rules did she come up with?”

Dragongirl told them the rules. “They don’t sound TOO compromising… but that’s what’s suspicious.” Scoobycool9 stated, rubbing his chin. “Normally, that woman would be trying any trick necessary to enforce her word as law.”

“Well… as long as they’re rules we can follow easily, we should be okay. Plus, we ARE getting a new employee lounge!” ATF replied with a grin.

“By the way, Anti, thanks for sending us, Tsuki and Prynn here--- Walter was about to be in hot water for the place lacking security!” Sky Flame stated.

ATF arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“Prynn told us that you called and said we had to work tonight!”

ATF looked at the others. “…I never called Prynn. I was having a movie-night with Jeffrey!” he looked at his watch. “…speaking of which, we’d better wrap this up soon--- Proxy was left in charge of babysitting, and he had a hard time getting him to climb down from the ceiling.”

Everyone looked at each other. “We’ll try to get back; Dragongirl, Sky Flame, you guys tell the others to abide by the rules until we can figure out what Umbridge and the Censors are up to. Ask Prynn if this ATF imposter said anything else that may give us a hint; the rest of us will try to figure out what the heck is going on!” Wesley ordered.

There came a *CRASH* from the back of the studio. “Speaking of ‘what the heck is going on’…” Ardent sighed.

“We’ll catch up with you guys later,” Dragongirl stated, closing out of the video chat; she and Sky Flame went back into the club. “Alright, at least it’s been a slow night. We might be able to---“

Socks ran by, pointing behind him. “Just so you know he hit me first!” he said quickly.

Sasha was running after him--- his hair on fire. “Come back and fight, you son of a---!”

Terrence and Elwynn ran by next. “Socks, I swear to Katib, I’m going to revoke your potato privileges for the next 20 centuries!” the Colmare was shouting.

Joshua followed, carrying a fire extinguisher. “ALEXANDER, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!”

Dragongirl and Sky Flame just stood there and blinked.

At this point, Prynn came running up with Tsuki. “Bad news, guys. I just read Umbridge’s mind—she plans on making a rule to prohibit anything she finds vulgar! No lewd jokes, no cuss words… she’s going to try to turn this place into a PBS Kids special—and not the thought-provoking kind!” Tsuki stated.

“And I saw the censors walk backstage with WG, they didn’t look very happy…” Tracker stated in concern as she came up next. “I just know something bad is going to go down…”

Prynn took a breath. “We need to stay calm. I’m sure everything will work out in the end…”

_“WHAT DO YOU **MEAN** I’M BEING DEPORTED?!”_

Everyone turned in the direction WG’s voice had come from. They all looked at one another.

“…Well, fuck.” Sky flame simply cursed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Back at the ruins of Tempus’ lab~_

...Seriously, we’re doing it again? This better not turn into a recurring segue.

The bot looked forward, letting out a breath. No, it wasn’t Tempus… but it sure came close. From what he could tell, this was going to be a new body for the ex-nemesis, yet it was only half-finished. He sneered, having every mind to just destroy it entirely…

There came a sound from behind him; acting on impulse he spun around and shot plasma out of his palms, only to find it was just an old light fixture that fell from the ceiling due to damaged wires snapping after too long a strain.

However, as he turned around, he noticed a beam of moonlight shining down through a hole in the ceiling, over in the corner. He could make out a silhouette, only seeing red irises on yellowed whites. The figure said nothing to him, only smirking as if it knew a dirty little secret.

The bot sneered, rubbing his face; he was too familiar with characters like this. “Fuck off, you cree---“ he began to state, but when he had looked over again the figure had disappeared…

And so did the unfinished Tempus body.

The bot ran out, but saw no signs of them.

 _Great. Either I’m losing it, or the Reverse-Flash is pulling some bullshit._ The robot thought, shaking his head. At least that’s what he wanted to believe…

He walked away from the ruins, deciding he had enough of digging through his past.

He decided to take Doctor Possible’s advice and move on.

The only question was where he should go now.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Walter was the first to rush backstage upon hearing WG’s outburst. “What on earth is going on?!” he demanded; he noticed the authoress looked livid, whereas the Censor Monkeys… had been blown back into the wall from the force of her shout.

Prying themselves off the broken plaster and composing themselves, they turned to Walter. “We simply ran a background check on all your staff, and have found that WG is not a toon-born citizen.” Reginald stated. “From what her background shows, she was born in Reality, has Reality parents, and never obtained citizenship to live in our world!”

Walter arched an eyebrow. “You have to have citizenship for the toon-world? Seriously? When did this start?”

“…After the live-action remake of _Fat Albert.”_ Janice answered.

“Ah.”

“But… I-I’ve lived in the tooniverse for years! You can’t just deport me!” WG stammered. “And I’m employed here! Doesn’t that grant me a work-visa?!”

“Do you HAVE a work-visa?”

“Um…”

A portal opened, and ATF stepped through, handing her a card. “Here, WG, you forgot this at home. See ya!” he said before leaving through a portal.

WG looked at the card, showing it to the censors. “There. This means I can stay, right?”

“Hmm, very well. You can stay… so long as you remain employed.” Benedict stated dryly. “Should you end up losing your job or quitting, you will have to return to Reality for a year, and then you will have to apply for proper citizenship.”

“I recommend getting started with the latter--- based on your conduct.” Reginald sniffed.

“See to it all our expectations are met, Walter. Umbridge will be giving us monthly reports--- remember, 5 bad citations, and your establishment will be shut down.” Janice informed. With that, the three censor monkeys left.

By this time, the rest of the security team came running in. “WG! What happened?!” Elwynn asked.

The authoress only looked at the card in her hand, letting out a heavy sigh. She was thankful her brother was psychic and made her a work-visa… though wondered, if he knew this was going to happen, why he didn’t make it for her sooner.

As if on cue, ATF came through the portal… wearing a different outfit. “I heard your bellow from across the city. What happened?!” he asked in haste.

WG did a double-take. “Why did you change clothes??”

“What?”

“You were just here--- you gave me a work-visa!”

ATF arched an eyebrow. “No I didn’t…”

“The Anti-Imposter has struck again!” Sky Flame exclaimed.

“But… who is he, and why is he helping us?” Tracker questioned, scratching her head.

“Nothing about this chapter is making any sense!” Socks groaned.

“…said the grendel who dropped potatoes on a Qwaser just for shits and giggles.” Terrence scoffed. He turned to WG. “But what’s with the work-visa?”

WG let out a heavy sigh. “Well… unless I keep my job here… I may end up getting sent back to Reality.”

“For reals?!” ATF gawked. He crossed his arms, grimacing. “It’s because of all those frickin’ live-action/animated movie hybrids they’ve made over the years, isn’t it?!”

“They said since I’m not ‘toon-born’, I’ll be sent back to Reality if I ever stop working here,” WG muttered, crossing her arms. “…someone just shoot me.”

*BANG!*

“OW! SWAINE!”

“Hey, you _literately_ asked for it!” Swaine called off-screen.

“I was being cynical!” WG turned around--- a dark foggy mist surrounding her head. “Geez, we gotta keep track of all our running gags this season.”

“Um, we’re over here, WG.” Tracker spoke up.

“Oh.” WG turned back around.

“Back to the matter at hand…” Terrence stated, looking at Walter. “Why would they care if WG was toon-born or not?”

“Apparently, it’s ones of Umbridge’s new policies…” Walter recalled, realizing this felt like more than just a coincidence. “We’ll look into it, don’t worry. For now, everyone get back to work; WG, ATF, you go home.”

WG opened a portal—“Oof!”--- bumping into the side of it before stepping through.

…

“WG, that’s a portal to Denmark!” Tsuki called.

“I can’t tell where I’m going, can you?!” WG called back.

ATF sighed, walking through. “I’ll help her out.” He said, and the portal closed behind him.

“Now what?” Tracker asked, looking at the others.

Walter looked at his watch. “It will be time to close the club soon. For the time being, let’s just hope Umbridge doesn’t get too strict with her rules.”

“…while we’re at it, lets see if money will rain from the sky.” Tsuki scoffed, as everyone went back to work.

From around the corner, Umbridge had been eavesdropping; she smirked to herself, before walking away.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

( _Kiff is doing the Author’s Notes with Junpei, Ryuji, and Kanji)_

Kanji: So… who would be the Umbridge of Persona 5?

Kiff: Oh, that’s easy. Kamoshida.

Ryuji: …Okay, yeah, I can see that.

Junpei: No doubt about it.

Kamoshida: Hey!

Kiff: Look, if you don’t believe me, there’s a meme to confirm it!

Umbridge: Why, I’ve never! I suggest you apologize for that atrocious remark!

Junpei: Oh, fine… *turns to Kamoshida* Sorry, dude.

Kamoshida: …Ah, I’ve heard worse.

Kanji: Seriously?

Kamoshida: …No. T_T *holds up volleyball*

Ryuji: Time to run?

Kiff: Yep! *to reader* See you guys in 2021!

Kanji: 2021? Why?

Kiff: Because that’s how long it will take my mom to update this story… and how long we’re going to be running! *takes off*

Kanji, Ryuji and Junpei: *follow his example*

Kamoshida: Get back here, you assholes! *pursues*

Umbridge: Hmph. Rabble-rousers. *leaves*

(Socks pops up)

Socks: This episode brought to you by Rakata Coffee!

Sasha (offscreen): ETIENNE!

Socks: Whoops, gotta go! *runs*

Sasha, pursuing: GETBACKHERE!

_Rakata Coffee—Think Pink!_


	6. Furries, Unite!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiff: *walks in with volleyball on his face* Mmf hnngh rrngh mm mm!
> 
> ATF: Say that again? *pries volleyball off his face*
> 
> Kiff: (Thank you) ...And now, the next chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters, (cameos, recurring, main, fictional, and otherwise) belong to their respected owners.

*beep beep beep beep beep beep imma sheep I say beep beep imma sheep*

Wesley reached over and grabbed his phone, shutting off the alarm whilst looking at the date. “Oh my GOSH!” he exclaimed.

In the bed adjacent to his, Zane shot up and turned towards the calendar. “OH my GOSH!”

Both sprung out of their beds and ran around the room, getting dressed, combing their hair, brushing their teeth, spraying on cologne, feeding the cat all the while saying, “Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh!” over and over again.

…wait, they don’t have a cat.

Ah well.

They then ran down the street for their shift at the club. “Oh my gosh!/OH my gosh!/Oh MY gosh!/My gosh oh!/Gosh oh my!” both were saying, running back and forth in front of Max.

“Hold up!” Max exclaimed, making the two freeze-- in a running stance with giddy smiles on their faces. “Let me guess--- the characters from your favorite show/book/videogame/whatever are visiting, you’re _super_ excited, and someone might die (or get seriously injured) from your fangirling excitement. Right?”

“How did you know?” Wesley asked.

“It’s been a recurring joke.” Max then put on a helmet. “Alright, tell me who’s coming by tonight.”

Zane shook with exhilaration, biting his lip a bit before answering, “The main characters from _Beastars!”_

Max eyes widened. “No. Way. For real?!”

“Yeah, for real!”

“ALRIGHT!!!” Max threw his helmet off and became just as eager as the two Time Lords. “I LOVE that series! I’ve been watching episodes online!”

“We’ve been reading the mangas!” Wesley added.

“Who all do you think is coming??/You think they’ll autograph my shirt?/I loved the part in Volume 7 where---/I think I know who the killer might be!/I hope Pina will be with them!/Oh man, I hope they’ll let us take pictures with them!” All three of them were babbling at once.

By this point, Fanatic, ATF, Ardent, Tea, and Kiff walked over, seeing the display. “…Looks like it’s the night the _Beastars_ gang cameos.” ATF commented.

“Okay, ladies, break it up. You can fangirl after they get here,” Ardent told the trio of furry fan-boys.

“I’ve never seen you get this excited over something,” Fanatic added, looking at Zane.

“Well, what can I say? I’m a Furry now.” He replied--- and there came several gasps offscreen. “Calm down! I’m on the wholesome side!”

“I actually get hired to hunt down yiffers.” Wesley added.

“A lot of toons must hire you for your services,” Kiff commented.

“You have no idea.” Max replied… while slipping Wesley a $50 bill. “But yeah, this is going to be awesome!”

“No kidding, I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks!” Zane added, trembling with excitement.

“Oh yeah. No one is as excited about meeting the _Beastars_ cast as I am!” Wesley beamed.

“I am!” Daisy called from inside.

 ** _“NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!!!”_** Wesley shouted whilst pointing a finger in her face… having rushed over to her desk so fast it was a surprise he didn’t break the sound barrier.

Daisy froze, leaning way back, watching as the Swaine-Like Time-Lord eased back slowly.

“…O-kay then… So, who wants to do a perimeter check (and get some distance from the fan-boys?)” Tea asked, stating that last part out of the corner of her mouth.

“I’ll scope out the rooftop.” Ardent volunteered.

“I’ll take the back-alley.” ATF added.

“We’re staying out front!” Zane added, Wesley taking out a lawn chair and making himself comfortable.

“I’ll hang out in the rafters and scan the dining area.” Kiff spoke up.

“Then I guess Tea and I will be backstage,” Fanatic replied with a shrug.

They began to head to their positions; Kiff paused and turned to the Time Lords. “Oh, by the way, if Jack is with them, tell him he still owes me $20.”

Zane and Wesley’s eyes widened. “Hold it! You’ve met Jack before?!” Zane questioned.

“Oh, yeah. I met them at an anime convention back in 2019.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?!”

Kiff shrugged. “You never asked!”

Zane paused. “…Ah. Good point.”

The young hybrid went inside the club, taking his place up in the rafters. He then paused, sensing a strong presence coming from behind the screen. “Go figure. Five minutes on the clock, and already something suspicious is going on. ‘…he said to himself as if he were actually talking to someone’.”

Opening a portal, he snuck behind the stage to see what was going on.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“Are they here now? How about now? Now? Do you see them now??” Max was asking, eagerly.

“You know, when my girlfriend acted like this, you threatened to seal her feet in cement,” Zane commented… while looking around with a pair of binoculars. “But no, they’re not here yet.”

“Excuse me, isn’t she MY girlfriend this week?” Wesley questioned, leaning back in the lawn chair.

“No, I got moved to this week, remember? After we got stuck in the war of 1812?”

“Ah.”

“How did you guys get back, anyway?” Max asked.

“Well, it turns out the TARDIS will only respond to one Time Lord at a time, and it chose the recent incarnation of its owner--- that being me.” Wesley replied. “Once we got it figured out, we managed to get back to the present— right after evading several rounds of cannon fire.”

“Yeah, but I’m the original owner, so it doesn’t make sense.” Zane scoffed.

Wesley grinned. “Of course it does--- you got dumped.”

Zane gave him a look… then kicked the underside of the lawn chair, making it snap shut over his counterpart. Wesley pried himself out, growling before tackling Zane, the two of them erupting into a dust-cloud fight.

Max looked over and gasped. “Whoa! Split it up, split it up--- Wicked Bitch of the West heading this way!” he warned them.

The two paused (Zane having Wesley in a half-nelson), seeing Umbridge approaching. “And _what_ is going on here?” The Wicked Bi--- er, the co-manager demanded.

“Uhhhh… Chiropractics!” Zane lied. “Wesley had a knot in his back, so I’m just helping him pop it.”

“Yeah--- oh! I felt it pop! I’m better now!” Wesley played along, the two of them getting back on their feet.

“I suggest you resolve your back problems before coming to work. A spasm would give an enemy means to catch you…” Umbridge warned as she walked away… before whipping out her wand and hitting Wesley with a _Crucio_ spell! “…Off guard!”

Wesley was frozen, trapped in the torturous spell! “AGH!”

“Hey!” Zane drew his wand and cut off the spell. “If you do that again, I’ll _Avada Kedavra_ your fat ass!”

Umbridge only gave him a condescending look. “Threatening your boss? Hmph. That will not look good on my report to the censors.”

“Neither would ‘employee abuse’!” Wesley grunted, rubbing his spine where the spell hit him.

“I was just testing your reflexes. And you failed. Very shoddy, indeed. You’d best work on that, if you ever hope to defend anyone. Of course, I didn’t expect anything more from a _half-noid_.”

Max stormed up to Umbridge, furious. “I think you’d better watch your fucking language before I report you to the Better Business Borough, woman!” he snapped… and considering we’ve never heard Max drop the F-bomb before now, you can tell this was serious.

“Such ill conduct! I will be speaking to your other supervisors about this. Consider this your first strike--- and remember, 5 strikes and this business will be shut down.” Umbridge replied, smirking to herself as she went inside the club.

Zane and Wesley looked at Max. “Whoa dude… what was with that outburst?” Wesley asked.

“Seriously?! She called you guys a half… N-word!” Max hissed. “I’m surprised you didn’t turn her to stone and smash her with a sledgehammer!”

“Noid? …is that a slur for something?” Zane asked.

“I figured it was that ugly-assed creep that tries to ruin pizzas,” Wesley added.

“It’s a slur toons use for people in reality.” Max replied, still fuming. “That woman is just begging for trouble!”

“Hold it… that might be her angle,” The Swaine-Like Time Lord began to pace in thought. “If she riles up the staff into misconduct, she’ll have enough fines to get this place shut down for good! …The question is, why would she be so hellbent on doing so?”

“Unless she was instructed as such,” Zane inquired. “Those Censors must be up to something…”

“We’d better have a word with Walter about this,” Max added.

“Have a word with Walter about what?” Mickey asked, as he came out.

“Mickey? Aren’t you supposed to be on stage?” Zane asked.

“Oswald is covering for me.”

_~On the stage~_

“So I told ‘em, my wife really missed me--- but her aim is getting better!” Oswald exclaimed while on stage.

The audience just stared.

“Her aim is getting better! …C’mon, don’t you guys get it? Because---“

*BONK!*

A rolling pin hit him on the head, as Ortensia stepped onto the stage. “And now, something that’s actually entertaining!” she announced as the next cartoon began to play, dragging her unconscious husband off the stage while the audience cheered.

~ _Back Outside~_

“Anyway…” Mickey continued. “Umbridge was complaining about your ‘attitude’, so I decided to come up and see what she’s done.”

“Well, first she Crucio’d Wesley to ‘test his reflexes’, and then she called him and Zane…” Max began, then leaned down and whispered into Mickey’s ear.

“*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!*” Mickey gawked, looking at the two. “And you two let her LIVE for that?!”

“Why? Does the slur come with a death-penalty?” Wesley asked, holding up his Sonic Shotgun. “…Please say yes.”

“We think she’s trying to pull shit just to provoke transgression,” Zane spoke up.

“Yeah, we already figured that out when she made up a rule that almost got your girlfriend deported,” Mickey scoffed, crossing his arms. “Well, I’m not going to stand for it! Telling us that we can’t invite certain characters because their canon material is ‘too graphic’ is one thing, but using her authority just to be prejudice is uncalled for!”

“Preach it!” Max exclaimed, waving his arms in the air.

“Amen! You go tell that witch what--- wait, _what_ did you say about not inviting certain characters?” Wesley asked, concerned.

“Oh, uh… well, see, we had to cancel a lot of guest invites because APPARENTLY the Censors would find it would be ‘bad publicity’ to allow certain characters to attend the club.” Mickey explained, nervously.

Wesley and Zane gave concerned glances. “Mickey… please don’t tell me _Beastars_ is on that list.”

Mickey cringed. “Well…”

“ _Oh c’mon!_ We’ve been hyped about this since last month! If Legoshi isn’t eligible enough to come to the club, who is?!”

“Er, um… well… they said we haven’t had many Pixar cameos, so they requested we invite the cast of… Cars.” Mickey put bluntly.

“Cars?” Max deadpanned.

“Cars??” Wesley questioned in disgust.

“ ** _CARS?!?!”_** Zane bellowed.

*drum beat*

 ** _“AND IIIIIIII- HOLY SHIT! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOUUU!_** I can’t believe you’d do this to me, Mickey! How could you do this…?!”

Everyone had taken a step back as Zane had an episode, falling to his knees in a dramatic manner, kicking over a trashcan, leaning against a streetlight and sobbing before sinking to the ground and curling up in a fetal position.

“…Zane has gone bye-bye, guys.” Max commented.

“This is absurd! There is no way I’m going to let that bitch get away with this red-tape!” Wesley sneered, storming into the club. “Mickey, you get Walter and try to put that woman in her place!”

“Where are you going?” Mickey asked.

“I think I know someone who can help us with this sort of intolerance,” With that, he went to the dining area. Mickey went inside after him to find Walter.

…leaving Zane curled up on the ground, sucking his thumb.

By this point, Ardent and ATF came back from their patrol. They looked at Zane, and just blinked.

“…Did we miss something?” Ardent questioned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kiff looked around. He could sense _something_ … he just didn’t know _what._

 _I don’t sense anything dark, but this presence is powerful._ The hybrid thought, making one of his palms glow so he could search around. “Okay, whoever is back here, come out peacefully--- I don’t think our insurance can cover any more damage,” He called. “…And I don’t mean to the building,”

“(wow, that line was really lame…)” muttered a voice, and he looked over to see the ATF-lookalike he had met the other night! (Currently facepalming). He shielded his eyes. “Hey, don’t shine that in the eyes--- people can go blind, man.”

“You again?” Kiff questioned, walking over and grabbing him by the shirt. “What’s your endgame, kid? Because last time I checked, my uncle Anti doesn’t make characters based off his own appearance!” He paused, looking at the outfit. “…Who dress like their own gender!”

“Anti? Huh, funny, I always figured I looked like my mom--- though I do have my dad’s eyes,”

“Cut it out. Just tell me what you’re doing here!”

“Well, you’re going to find out later, so I’ll tell you. I’m here to stop this asshole named Logan Bishop. Ever heard of him?”

Kiff paused, arching an eyebrow. “Wait… You mean Master Bate?”

“Ah, THAT was his alias! A friend of mine calls him Jerk-Off.”

The hybrid gave him a wary glance. “How do I know you’re not a spy of his?”

The boy scowled. “Why the hell would I want to help the douche who kills for fun, exploits personal trauma for shits and giggles, and is so evil that Bill Cipher couldn’t compete? The bastard attacked my family! He sent people to rape two of my loved ones, works with human traffickers, disrespected my late-grandmother, and nearly had someone destroy the whole universe--- twice! And that’s not even the half of it! I don’t care if you trust me or not--- I can’t really trust myself to work alone, but that’s not going to keep me from keeping one step ahead of his sick game!”

Kiff blinked. “D-Damn…”

“Duh-Damn is right!” The kid shrugged. “Oh, also I want to give Umbridge a hard time. That devil-woman and her bigotry needs a swift kick in the bloomers!”

The hybrid gave him a look. He tried reading his mind, but for some reason could not get through. “You seem to have a lot of history with our antagonists for someone so young,”

“Oh, I’ve been around longer than you think. But believe me, I want to help--- I just decided to work on the sidelines.”

Kiff gave him a look. “Sounds suspicious…”

“Heh, that means I’ve been keeping my discrepancy well--- up to this point.”

“Why be all secrefied? Why not just come up, tell us how you know Bates, and ask to join the team?”

“Because that would involve sharing too much personal information… and there are some things I don’t exactly want to bring up,” The kid gave him a look. “Ever take a walk through hell, and wish to forget it?”

The hybrid began to speak, but considered his words. He nodded, but gave him a firm glance. “Okay, but I’m taking you to the team. You don’t have to tell us everything, but keep in mind--- first sign of betrayal, and I’ll blow up your head!”

“Cool,”

With that, they walked out and went around backstage.

Along the way, they passed a closet, hearing a *thud* from inside. They opened up the door, finding Fanatic and Tea inside, their hair messed up and their lips slightly bleeding.

An awkward silence hung in the air.

“…I’m just gonna assume you guys pissed off one of the mops from _Fantasia_ and got out of a scrape.” Kiff deadpanned, despite he knew that was not the case.

“Er, yeah, we can go with that. *ahem*” Fanatic replied, smoothing out his hair while Tea wiped her lip.

“And either ATF felt like having an outfit change, or that’s the Anti-Imposter,” Tea guessed.

“He wants to help us deal with Umbridge and Bate.” Kiff informed.

“I can speak for myself,” The kid scoffed, turning to the others. “I want to help deal with Umbridge and Bate.”

Kiff rolled his eyes.

Fanatic shrugged. “Okay.”

“Really? Just like that?”

“Why not? If you turn out to be a traitor, I can just turn into my Ink-Blot form and melt your face off,”

“Believe me, it hurts. A _lot_.” ATF stated, walking over.

“I thought you were in the alley?” Tea questioned.

“I was, but a situation came--- TWINNY!” ATF rushed over and hugged his double. “Finally! I have a twin that’s not my sister!”

“*gack!* Dude! Choking! Not breathing!” His double gasped.

“What’s the sitch, Anti?” Fanatic asked. He leaned over and whispered to Tea, “I’ve always wanted to use that line,”

“Oh! Right!” ATF let go of his twin, and turned to the others. “Max told us that Umbridge wants us to ban all characters that come from material that is too graphic in violence, sex, language, drug/alcohol abuse, or highly sensitive subjects that would not be suitable for some people.”

“She’s trying to make us like Youtube?” Kiff questioned.

“Dated commentary aside…” Tea spoke up. “We’ve dealt with people outlawing things from the club before. We just have to find a way to work it out so guests can attend, so long as they don’t do anything explicit.”

“No kidding--- we had to kick out Roger from _American Dad_ last week because he got hammered and was trying to seduce Prince Charming!” ATF exclaimed.

“…didn’t _you_ get drunk last week and try to seduce Vincent Brooks?” Kiff questioned.

“That’s different! I’m incapable of being Horny on Main!”

“OKAY! LET’S STICK WITH THE PLOT BEFORE I NEED THERAPY!” Tea exclaimed. Everyone looked at her, and she cleared her throat. “Where are the others?”

“Ardent went to speak with Mickey and Walter, Wesley is somewhere else, and Zane… um… w-well, you guys better come see.”

The foursome followed the immortal teen outside… where they saw Zane sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth, hugging a Legoshi plushie, and murmuring the lyrics to ‘The Wild Side’.

“Great Galfrey, what did that woman DO to him?!” Fanatic gasped.

“Zane? Zane! Speak to me, man!” Kiff sputtered, snapping his fingers in front of Zane’s face. “Say something! Anything!”

Zane went wall-eyed, cocking his head. “How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?”

Kiff blinked. “…Three and a half?”

Zane stared… then tipped over, still hugging the plushie and murmuring the theme to _Beastars_.

The hybrid turned to the others. “He’s lost his MIND!”

“W-Well, help him!” Tea stammered.

“Dang it, Tea, I’m a superpowerfied cartoon-hybrid, not a doctor! …Well, I mean I’m a Doctor, but I’m not THAT kind of doctor, it’s not the same thing--- actually I don’t know how to use the TARDIS yet!”

“Don’t worry, he’s just going through fanboy-anxiety. After a good night’s sleep, he’ll just be depressed for three days, then manage to move on to something else. However, a quick solution will be to get someone from Beastars to meet him, and that will cheer him up in a heartbeat.” The ATF-double stated.

Everyone looked at him. “You’ve seen this happen before?” Kiff questioned, arching an eyebrow.

“Oh yes. I have a surrogate-dad who went through this sort of thing.”

“Uhhh, mind telling me who this kid is and why he looks like the missing member of WG, ATF, and Prynn barbershop quartet?” Max asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Ah, right. Intro!” The kid cleared his throat. “My name is Rylo Oriunde Murchadh, and I’m the new member of the Security Team.”

“…and yes, we ARE making a list so we don’t lose track of characters. Again.” ATF replied.

Scoobycool9 suddenly ran up. “Am I late for the plot?”

“You’re not in this episode!” Fanatic told him.

Scoobycool9 blinked, then looked at the schedule. “…oh I was looking at next week. Never mind!” He then left.

Kiff paused and turned to the audience. “…If any Authors included in this think they’re not given enough personality, please say so in the comments. Thank you.”

“Okay, back to important matters! On with the plot!” ATF exclaimed. With that, all the Authors ran into the club.

…minus Zane, still sulking.

Max scratched his head, turning to Zane. He poked him with a stick, making squeaky noises.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

In the management office, Ardent stood by the desk, while Walter, Mickey, and Umbridge had an intervention. “Delores, I’m sorry, but this new policy of yours is intolerable!” Walter was firmly stating. “You have already set rules to help others mind their behavior, but to make our club exclusive to a majority of characters is uncalled for!”

“The censors insist upon it.” Delores replied in a polite tone, whilst sipping tea. “They have noticed that since you have started opening your doors to characters from other animation properties, there has been an increase of reports of vulgarities and bloodshed. In order to maintain control, we must restrict access to characters from material that involves adult content.”

“Yes, because we all know adults don’t come to night clubs.” Ardent responded in sarcasm, rolling her eyes. “Look, Umbridge. Banning something just because the censors find it inappropriate isn’t going to resolve anything; rather, it’s just going to cause more conflict. Pretty soon, others will stop attending because of anxiety or disdain, some may stage a boycott, and there is a high chance the censors will get sued for discrimination!”

Umbridge gave her a look. “So you would find it suitable to allow characters from shows that promote immorality into the establishment?”

“No! Don’t try to twist my words!”

“What is there to twist? You are saying all kinds of guests are welcome--- and by saying so, that means you allow notorious peoples in. I have seen villains of all kinds attend… how long before scoundrels worse than them come in? How long before someone has their beverage spiked? Or when a minor is fondled? Suppose a guest is murdered in the restroom? The House of Mouse already has enough bad publicity from the damages caused from the attacks in the past… how many lawsuits can you handle before the guilt tears you apart?”

“That is enough!” Walter snapped, standing up. “Do you think that just because we invite certain characters that they would be allowed to conduct themselves in such ungodly manners?! Why do you think we have a security team for? All our Authors will not hesitate to enforce the law on anyone who dares to cause such harm!”

“…That is quite hypocritical, considering they provoke it.”

“W-What?!” Mickey sputtered.

“Oh, don’t try to deny it! You have several Authors with immeasurable violent streaks, an underage employee who crossdresses and gets intoxicated, one who practically lives with Creepypastas, and of course not one but two who serve as proof that a _sacred rule_ has been broken.”

“Sacred rule?” Ardent questioned, looking at the other two.

“I am talking about the ones known as Zane and Kiff. The latter, of course, is a surrogate child as both his biological parents are cartoons so he has some leeway, but I have heard that your ‘descendant’ is a lovechild of a reality person and a cartoon, Walter.” The witch looked at Disney’s toonsona, a wicked gleam in her eye. “And if you happen to have any memory from your counterpart, you will know the reason why such a thing is considered… _prohibited_.”

“And the two of them have proven that reason to be ludicrous, no different than how you believe that banning certain characters without legitimate cause is ludicrous.” Came a voice from the doorway, and the group turned to see Wesley enter. Behind him was Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde from _Zootopia._

“Wesley? What’s going on?” Mickey questioned.

“Upon hearing that the Beastars cast was restricted access from our club, I decided to speak with a pair of individuals who not only share similar subject matters, but also have a more lawful view on the on the policy. Miss Hopps? If you would,” With that, he stepped off to the side, allowing the bunny cop by.

“Thank you, Wesley--- I love your jacket, by the way!” Judy replied, before turning to Umbridge. “Miss Umbridge. Based on the guidelines, an establishment cannot ban someone unless they have performed misconduct as of recent. You may, however, kick out an individual for disruption or harm, and after three offenses occur in the course of a month, you are allowed to ban them.”

“As for the whole ‘security team being a bad influence’, you’ve obviously missed a few things. For one thing, that crossdresser is older than he looks--- and if some adult tries to hit on him just for how young he looks, he drops them through a portal in a heartbeat.” Nick added. “Not even kidding--- saw him do it to Old Man Herbert. He’s _still_ falling.”

“The point is, the censors are looking at everything in black and white. Unless the guests you allow inside cause any form of misconduct, you are not to prohibit them access.” Judy tapped her pen against her notepad. “In fact, we’ll be having some of our own officers come by and keep a close eye on the place; we just got a report of a hate-crime going on.”

“Yeah, someone calling someone a slur after assaulting them…?” Nick pretended to think, snapping his fingers repeatedly. “Described them as a stout person, clad in pink, kind of looks like a toad…”

Umbridge’s nostrils flared, as she looked at Wesley--- who only gave a proud grin and wiggled his fingers at her. She turned towards Judy and Nick. “Well. I will speak to the censors, but if it is a court case you are looking for, I can assure you it will take months to find a settlement.” She huffed.

“Oh, I don’t think so, duchess.” Nick turned to Judy. “Wanna tell her why, or should I?”

“We’ve already contacted their supervisor. Turns out he’s a BIG fan of _Beastars_ , and considers it very thought-provoking, entertaining, and believes it would be good publicity to allow the characters to attend the club. ‘Unless someone actually goes savage, there’s no reason why we should segregate everyone!’ he said.” Judy informed.

“Now, about that hate-crime we were told about…” Nick looked at Umbridge. “Mind coming with us down to the station? Oh, and leave the wand behind--- any magic tricks will be a form of resistance, and I bet the Ministry of Magic would just LOVE to hear how one of their own tried to hex others outside of boundaries,”

Umbridge sneered, before turning towards Walter and Mickey. “Don’t think you will find a way out of trouble every time.” With that, she followed the two officers out.

“Wand!” Nick reminded.

Umbridge sneered, putting her wand in a case and locking it, setting it on the desk before leaving with them.

At this time, the rest of the security team came in. “ _Please_ tell me she’s getting sent to prison,” Fanatic begged, looking over his shoulder as he watched their minor-antagonist leave. 

“We shall see, but it’s safe to say Delores will be out of our hair for a while,” Walter replied, giving the team a smile. “How are things out in the club?”

“Pretty chill… though, Ortensia suggests we never let Oswald be an emcee. Ever. Again.” Tea replied, cringing.

“I haven’t seen that many tomatoes since… well, tonight to be honest.” Rylo commented.

“And you are…?” Walter asked.

“New guy,”

“Ah. …Getting quite a few new recruits this season, aren’t we?”

“*sigh* I’d better get out on the stage before Oswald gets creamed.” Mickey stated, rubbing his face as he walked out.

_“MICKEY!!!”_

“Augh!” The famous mouse gave a jolt, looking over and seeing WG storming forth! “Wherever Girl? But… I thought you were off the clock tonight!”

“Yeah, I was studying for my Toon Citizenship test, when all of a sudden my ‘Girlfriend Intuition’ kicked into red-alarm!” WG took off her cap, showing a flashing red light spinning; she covered it. “So, I open a portal to check in on my BF, only to find THIS!”

She then whipped out--- a pair of black boxers decorated with a pot-leaf pattern.

Mickey shielded his eyes. “Yikes! Put those away, woman!”

“Er, not those,” WG tucked them away, then behind her and held up Zane--- who shrunk down into a chibi form and was shaking like a maraca. “Max filled me in. What were you THINKING, Mouse?! You have any idea how long Zane has been waiting for this night?! After all the hell he’s gone through in the past year, he needed this--- and all of a sudden it got cancelled because the censors are being a bunch of oversensitive pansies?!”

“N-Now, WG, hold on---!”

“No, YOU hold on! Let me fill you in on a little secret, Mick--- when it comes to my bunnyfluff here, I won’t hesitate to go Full-Yandere against anyone or anything who breaks his sweet little heart! If Senpai ain’t happy, NO ONE SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY!”

Mickey paled a bit, shaking. “…isn’t he a year younger than you?”

“It’s the principle of the matter! Now, I want you to invite the Beastars cast here! And if they’re not here in ten minutes—“

Zane let out a miserable whimper.

WG paused, then gripped Mickey by the shirt-collar. “ _FIVE MINUTES!_ Ya got FIVE MINUTES to get them here, or you’ll be regretting more than you did when you made _Chicken Little!_ Capiche?!”

“Er…!”

Walter walked over. “Calm down, WG. We already got the matter settled.”

WG cocked her head. “Oh. …Wow, you guys work fast!” She held up Zane. “You hear that, bunnybean? They’re actually coming to the club!”

“REALLY??” Zane popped into normal size, beaming with delight. He leaped out of his girlfriend’s arms. “WOO-HOO! EVERYBODY MAMBO!” He then ran to the front doors. “I’m getting Louis’ autograph!”

“Not if I get it first!” Wesley exclaimed, running by.

WG crossed her arms, sighing. “Maybe one day they’ll love me like that.” She joked, before opening a portal. “Welp! Better get back to studying! Tomorrow I’m taking the Anvil Test!”

Walter gawked. “They’re dropping anvils on you?!”

The authoress chuckled, patting him on the back. “You’re funny.” With that, she left.

Mickey and Walter stood there. Oswald walked over… covered in cream pies. “You were right, Mickey… I shouldn’t have tried to quote _Macbeth_.” He groaned, before passing out.

Mickey sighed, walking to the stage to introduce the next act… as well as apologize to the audience for whatever Oswald had done.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zane and Wesley waited by the front desk, absolutely thrilled. “Look! Here they come!” The latter gasped in excitement.

“OMG, OMG, OMG!” Zane exclaimed, hopping up and down. “Dibs on hugging Legoshi!”

“I don’t think we’re allowed to—“ Donald began to state.

WG popped her head through a portal, grabbing him by the neck. “ _Let. Him hug. The wolf_.” She warned, before letting go and dropping back through the portal.

Donald: 0_o

Everyone watched as Legoshi, Haru, Louis, and Juno walked in. “Hey, we’re from Cherryton Academy. Mickey Mouse invited us here?” Legoshi greeted, walking up to Zane.

Everyone turned and watched as Zane…

Coolly shook Legoshi’s hand. “Yeah, we heard you were coming. It’s nice to meet you,” he said, casually. “Sorry for the mix-up, trouble with censors and all.”

“Oh, we deal with that quite a lot. It’s no worry,” Louis replied, shaking Wesley’s hand.

“Have a good time. I hope you enjoy everything the club has to offer,” Wesley replied.

“I’m sure we will. We hear a lot of exciting stories about this place!” Juno stated.

“The rest of our classmates will be coming in shortly, let them know where our table is, could you?” Haru asked.

“Yes, we have one especially made for you. Right this way,” Wesley then guided them in.

Zane waved to them, then turned to the others…

…who were just gawking.

“What?” Zane asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Dude. You were an out-of-control fanboy five minutes ago! What the hell?!” Ardent questioned.

“Oh c’mon. What, did you expect me to have a fan-gasm? I treat all my favorite celebrities like normal people, not idols. Hero-worship is unhealthy, you know.” With that, he walked off.

Everyone exchanged glances. Donald fainted.

“Huh, I could have sworn someone tonight was gonna--- HEY, THEY BROUGHT BILL!” ATF exclaimed, running forth as the rest of the characters came in. “DUDE! AUTOGRAPH MY FACE!”

“…I’ll get the pry-bar.” Ardent sighed, walking off.

“We’ll go get the leash--- I think it’s in the closet,” Fanatic said, as he and Tea hurried off.

Rylo chuckled, shaking his head. “I miss fun times like these…”

“Beg pardon?” Kiff questioned, arching an eyebrow.

“Just reminiscing. I’m gonna make sure ATF isn’t getting his face ripped off,” With that, he walked off.

Kiff crossed his arms. _There’s something about that kid I don’t trust… Oh, there’s Jack!_ He thought, before heading out front next.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Walter sat in the office, his hands folded in front of his face. He opened up a drawer, pulling out an old photograph of a live-action woman sitting at an animation desk.

“Looks like things haven’t changed much, Joanne… hopefully, just hopefully, things will improve from here.” He sighed to himself.

There came a knock on the door, as Horace the Horse poked his head in. “Uh, Walter? I’m not sure if anyone has brought this up yet, but… Pete’s been unconscious on the floor since the first episode, should we call the hospital?”

Walter put the picture away. “Oh, right. I had a feeling we were forgetting something!”

With that, he clicked off the office light and shut the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *please do not pet the furries without consent; violators will be shot repeatedly in the kneecaps.*


	7. To Doofinity and Beyond!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are introduced to a popular Disney villain who GOOD GRAVY IT TOOK US TOO LONG we finally decided to include ^^
> 
> Disclaimer: *platypus growl*

_~Behind the Scenes~_

Plot wrung his hands together as he entered the storyboard room. It was after 5 o’clock, everyone on the production team having already gone home, save for his cousins, Sub-Plot and Filler. “…and then it ended on a cliffhanger, so we had to wait until the movie came out to find out what happens!” Sub-Plot was stating.

“Whoa,” Filler responded while looking at his phone; he noticed Plot come in. “Oh hey, dude. Finally finish up?”

“Uhhhh… yes and no.” Plot gulped. “D-Do you guys remember what the next episode of Season 3 is supposed to be about?”

“Huh-uh. We’re just in charge of the little details.” Sub-Plot replied, cocking her head. “Did you forget?”

“No! …well, I remember bits and pieces.”

“You got a copy of the script. Just go through it,” Filler scoffed.

“About that…” Plot held up a box, dumping it out; bits and pieces of the script fell out onto the table.

His cousins gawked. “Holy crap--- what happened?!”

“All I can remember is trying to figure out a one-liner, and went to get a soda… and when I came back, a goat was eating my part of the story! That’s all I could salvage!”

“How in the heck did a goat get into the building?!”

“I don’t know! I just turned around for 5 seconds and then there was a goat! What am I going to do?! If the story isn’t updated this month, we’re going to have a problem!”

“Okay, okay, calm down. We’ll just take the parts you remember and incorporate them in. Filler, what do you have?” Sub-Plot asked as she took out a piece of paper and began to write.

“Just some scenes with some cameos.” Filler replied with a shrug. “What about you?”

“I got a B-Side about a new recurring antagonist. Plot, we’ll work your tidbits in the background a la The Noodle Incident style.”

“But… wait, you mean the B-Side will be the main plot, the filler will be the sub-plot, and the main plot will be the filler? What if people get confused?!” Plot sputtered.

“You mean they aren’t already?” Filler scoffed.

“I think that’s ‘B-Sides’ the point!” Sub-Plot cracked… and a volleyball bopped her head. “Ow! Darn it--- Cousin Running Gag! Recurring jokes aren’t supposed to happen behind the scenes!”

“Sorry, cuz! Hyuck-yuck-yuck!” A hillbilly-like person aptly named ‘Running Gag’ exclaimed before taking off.

“…geez, we just HAD to give him more work to do, didn’t we?”

“Just be happy it wasn’t the Trick-Shot joke.” Filler commented.

“Okay, okay… I guess this could work… I hope.” Plot sighed, rubbing his face. “Maybe the reviews won’t be too bad…”

“…We get reviews?” Sub-Plot questioned, arching an eyebrow.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~The Episode Begins~_

It was a cool night at the House of Mouse. Max stood on the curb, watching as a car pulled up; out stepped the _Persona 5_ protagonist, Akira Kurusu, with Vincent Brooks; the latter tossed the keys to Max. They walked in--- stopping to sign Daisy’s autograph book--- before standing near the entrance of the dining room.

“There’s my table. I’ll see you at 10,” Akira told Vincent, pointing over at a table where the rest of his team sat.

“Okay. Mine is over there if you need anything,” Vincent replied, thumbing over at his table.

“Gotcha. Later, Dad.”

“See ya,”

( _a/n: Yes, I headcannon Akira is Vincent’s son. Fight me! *gets hit with pillow*)_

The _Catherine_ protagonist sat down at his table; a menu was handed to him and he looked over it. On stage, Mickey greeted the audience before starting the night off with a cartoon. “Hey, look who finally decided to cameo in the story!” came a voice as WG walked over… carrying a textbook, notebook, and having a pencil tucked behind her ear.

“Heh, I almost passed on the offer when ATF hit on me the other weekend,” Vincent scoffed. He looked over his seat. “Don’t you normally hang around out front?”

“I’m working in the back so I can study for my citizenship test. Don’t you normally hang around at the bar?”

“I came here with Akira tonight. Plus, Junpei is here--- I promised him I wouldn’t get hammered whenever we were in the same vicinity.”

“Good. …Don’t worry, from the mayhem that happens around here, it leaves everyone with the effect of being wasted.”

“Yeah, that’s what Swaine tells me.”

“Alright, well if you come across a problem, just scream.”

“AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH! HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THAT?!” Came a scream from Scoobycool9 offscreen.

“…Like that!” WG then took off.

Vincent shook his head, looking back at the menu. “Wonder what’s good around here…”

Someone sat down at his table just then. “Hello, Vincent.” He looked up to see it was Katherine. “I didn’t think you would be coming,”

“I was about to say the same thing about you.” Vincent closed his menu. “I heard you’ve been dating again. How’s that going?”

“Well, after a year, we decided it wasn’t going to work out. What about you? Seeing anyone lately?”

He nodded. “Yeah. They’re actually going to meet me here tonight,”

“I see. …Well, good luck to you. Hopefully they show up,” Katherine tapped her fingers on the table, looking off at nothing particular. “You wouldn’t believe how many people end up cat-fishing others--- I hear it happened to Ariel’s daughter, Melody. Kept getting stood up, until they finally caught on, and it turns out her ‘secret admirer’ was---“

“Let me guess: an actual catfish.”

“How did you guess?”

Vincent shrugged. “I know my puns.”

*Bonk!*

“Ow!” He rubbed his head after a volleyball bounced off it. “THAT DOESN’T COUNT, SUGURU!”

“Yes it does!” Kamoshida called offscreen.

Katherine smiled and rolled her eyes before standing up. “Well, I’m going back to my table. I’m hanging out with Kawakami and Toriumi.”

“The teachers from Persona 5 and 3, huh? What about Kashiwagi from 4?”

Katherine scoffed. “We stopped inviting her--- she always tries to hog all the guys.” She walked off, giving a wave. “See you around,”

Vincent waved; Goofy came by just then. “Hey, there! Ready to order?” he asked.

“I’ll just have a Dr. Pepper and the special,”

“Coming right up!” Goofy turned to walk off---

“LOOK OUT!” Ardent ran in and jumped in front of him, shielding him from some sort of gooey pink substance; she shook it off her shield and ran off. “Terrence! Blast it with your Colmare-powers or something! Moon! Shoot Plasma at that giant eyeball sticking out of its elbow! WG! Portal! Portal!”

Vincent blinked, turning his eyes back on the stage. “Hopefully my date gets here alright…”

At another table, Phineas and Ferb were watching the battle. “Whoa! I heard things are insane around here, but I didn’t think it would look THIS cool!” Phineas exclaimed, then snapped his fingers. “Ferb! I know what we can do tonight!”

“Ohhhh no you don’t! This is the first time we’re finally getting a cameo appearance, and you’re not going to ruin the night building some weird invention and making me waste the whole night trying to bust you!” Candace sneered.

“Remind me again, why did we decide to have dinner at a night-club where havoc ensues?” Linda asked her husband.

“Because, they serve an excellent roast!” Lawrence answered, while picking up a dinner roll. “And the complimentary rolls are the right balance between soft and buttery.”

“Hey, where’s Perry?” Phineas suddenly asked, looking around.

Perry the Platypus had snuck off and--- dodging a pink blast of goo--- ducked underneath a table where a secret tunnel opened; he hopped down and slid downward into his secret control room, tuning in to the call-screen.

“Good evening, Agent P.” Major Monogram greeted… standing on a stool while wearing a fancy ball gown; Carl was busy sewing part of the skirt. “Sorry to interrupt your dinner plans, but we believe Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to something! Find out what it is and---“

Perry only blinked, obviously confused.

Major Monogram sighed. “Yes, yes, I know I’m wearing a ball gown--- Carl’s making one for his niece’s birthday.”

“You’re the only one who fits her measurements to a T, sir.” Carl replied apologetically.

“I know, I know! Just hurry up and finish--- this color doesn’t suit me at all. *ahem* Anyway, Agent P., stop whatever Doofenshmirtz is up to!”

Perry gave a salute and took off.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The cartoon had ended, and Mickey was introducing an act where Hiro Hamada used his Nanobots to re-enact the game-play mechanics of _Spider Man: Miles Morales._ He was so focused on watching the act that he did not notice someone else sat down beside him.

“Pretty amazing what you can do with technology these days, huh?” The person next to him asked, and he did a double-take and saw Catherine sitting beside him!

“Catherine! Holy--- What are you doing here?” He asked with a jolt.

Catherine thumbed over. “I’m here with my half-sister, Ann. Our mom didn’t want her coming to a night club alone,”

Vincent cocked an eyebrow, looking over. “But she’s with all her friends.”

Catherine grinned. “I know… I just like to embarrass her. But nah, really I’m just here with Kashiwagi--- we were at the bar and she told me to ‘get lost’ for a bit while she flirted with some guy. …I haven’t seen you since we finished our remake. How’s it going?”

“Pretty good. Akira and I have been spending more time together.”

“Oh, nice. How’s his mom? AKA your ‘old flame’?”

He rolled his eyes. “A one-night stand with Bayonetta doesn’t automatically make her an ‘old flame’.”

_(a/n: Yes, Bayonetta is the mom. Come at me, bro! *gets tackled* NOT YOU, ANTI!)_

_(Anti’s A/N: Did you mean Fanatic? XD)_

_(A/N: Just continue the story… >_<)_

“…Anyway,” Vincent coughed after that brief interruption. “I have a date meeting me here, too.”

“Oh, sweet! I’ve been staying off the market these days. Last time I went out with a guy, he turned out to be a real creeper,”

[Flashback]

Catherine is sitting at a table outside, watching as The Creeper from the DC comics slams a thug through the restaurant window before leaping over and landing in the chair across from her. “Sorry about the interruption--- turns out a bit of work followed me,” He replied--- suckerpunching another thug who was trying to sneak up on him, without even looking! “So, you come here often?”

“Check please!” Catherine hollered.

[End Flashback]

“…Yikes.” Vincent remarked, blinking.

“Oh yeah. You wouldn’t _believe_ the kind of freaks that are out there,” Catherine scoffed.

“GREAT GALFREY, IT’S EATING SOCKS!” Came a shout from Elwynn.

“WELL REWIND TIME AND MAKE IT THROW HIM UP!” Scoobycool9 exclaimed.

“NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT, MAN!” Terrence shouted.

“WELL, NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A HALF-DIGESTED GRENDEL, EITHER!” Moon snapped.

“LOOK OUT! IT’S GONNA---!” Elwynn screamed.

*HAAAAACK!*

Socks flew through the air and crashed into the table next to Vincent’s… covered in green saliva. “Hairball.” He explained, before shaking himself dry and drawing Hexogonus and summoning blue fire, running back into battle. “EAT FIRE, ASSHOLE! …oh, what do you know, it eats fire!”

Catherine stood up. “Well, I better go make sure Kashiwagi isn’t making herself look desperate. I’ll see you around--- I TOLD YOU I’M NOT INTERESTED!” she yelled at the ceiling.

Vincent looked up and gave a jolt, seeing The Creeper was hanging upside-down on the chandelier above their table, holding flowers and chocolates. “Aw, c’mon…! Just gimme a chance!”

The blonde scoffed and walked away. The Creeper swung down and—ducking some pink ooze that suddenly shot overhead—looked over at the fight going on off-screen. “Seems like the Security Team could use a hand--- that, and I think that hideous monster used to be my old math teacher.” He shoved the flowers and chocolates into Vincent’s arms. “(Hold on to these for me, will ya?) HEY, MISTER SMITH! How’s THIS for a D-minus student?!” With that, he leaped into action and violent sound effects ensued.

“Holy shit--- can I get your autograph??” WG exclaimed offscreen.

Vincent shook his head, looking back on stage as another cartoon began.

0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated…!~_

Yes! YES! _Finally_ we got to use that jingle!

At the mad scientist’s evil lair/apartment, Perry the Platypus came bursting in through the balcony doors. In front of him, Doofenshmirtz was standing by a large machine covered by a sheet… though was talking to a pink-haired young woman. “So, w-what do you think? Will you be able to play it?” The evil genius was asking. “See, my daughter’s birthday is coming up, and I really want to make her something special this year.”

“Sure, just come by my place this Saturday and we can rehearse,” The pink-haired woman answered, looking over a sheet of music. She looked at her watch. “Oh, I need to go. I’m running late!”

“Go ahead, my nemesis has just rolled in--- thank you!” Doofenshmirtz showed her to the door before turning to Perry. “Sorry about that, Perry the Platypus--- see, I’m planning on recording a song for Vanessa’s birthday, and I went through a long list of potential musicians but they were all out of my price range. Thankfully, I managed to find someone who--- ah, forget it. J-Just leap back in again,”

Perry shrugged and stepped outside; he then burst back in the way he had before.

“Ah, Perry the Platypus, I was expecting you!” Doofenshmirtz said in a malicious tone. “You came in right on time!” He clicked a button on his watch, which caused a cage to drop over Perry! “Ha ha ha! Get it? Right on time? And I hit a button on my---“

*BONK!*

A volleyball hit him on the head. “Ow! …where on earth did that volleyball come from?” He turned back to Perry. “Never mind. BEHOLD!”

He tore the sheet off his machine, showing it was a giant gauntlet with different colored buttons. Perry’s eyes widened.

“I call it, The Infinity-Gauntletinator!” Doofenshmirtz began to pace. “You see, Perry the Platypus, it all started in my depressing childhood. Growing up, there was never ‘enough’ for both me and my brother, Roger. By that I mean he always got the most of everything! During dinner he got to have second servings, and I had to eat whatever was leftover; he always hogged the blankets at night--- which was weird because we had separate beds, so why would he need my blankets?; and whenever we took baths he always got to go first, used up all the hot water a-and used up all the bubble bath, so all my baths were always cold and bubble-less…

“So, I invented a machine that would control all the resources in the universe! With it, I can control everything! I will create unlimited supplies of all kinds of foods, clothing, medicines, and new seasons of great TV shows! I will eradicate diseases, pollution, and badly-written remakes! There will be unlimited energy, and no one will have to pay for anything! With all this, they will worship me as their overlord, and I shall rule them all!”

Perry arched an eyebrow; he scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to the mad scientist.

Doofensmirtz’s expression was a mix between shock and confusion. “Use it to wipe out all existence in the galaxy---? Wh--?! No! What kind of nutcase would do that?! Do you think that just because my childhood was awful, I’m going to use my machine to destroy the universe? What would that accomplish?! How do you expect me to be feared and worshiped if no one is around to fear and worship me? Wipe out all existence… What an idea!”

Perry showed him a comic book.

The mad scientist crossed his arms. “Ohhhh sure, just because THAT’S how it went down in the comic books, I should do the same thing, right? Listen, unlike most Hollywood writers, I happen to have my _own_ creativity--- I don’t try to use the same ideas over and over! That’s not me. That’s the equivalent of copying someone else’s art project--- it’s practically villain plagiarism!”

The secret agent gave a deadpanned look at the audience; clearly, this rant would last for a while.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Back at the club, Clarabelle Cow was backstage with Minnie, Daisy and Ortensia. “Girls, you will not BELIEVE what I saw out in the dining room!” The gossip-hungry bovine was stating in excitement.

“The 20-foot horrifying monstrosity that’s spewing pink ooze?” Ortensia questioned.

“Not that! Something bigger! Vincent Brooks is here at the club--- and so are his two ex-girlfriends, Katherine and Catherine! I feel like their love-triangle may come back into play!”

“Uhhh… I thought they only had a love-triangle in the game? Behind the scenes they’re just friends,” Daisy commented.

“How do you know that?” Minnie asked.

“Oh, I asked Catherine and Katherine if either of them actually dated Vincent. Turns out they had tried asking him which one of them he would actually prefer, but he didn’t choose either of them.”

“Well, turns out _they’re_ choosing _him_. I happened to listen in, and caught a hint of wordplay.” Clarabelle whispered. “I think Katherine is cat-fishing Vincent, making him think he gets stood up enough times so he’ll be putty in her hands… Meanwhile, Catherine is stalking Vincent!”

Minnie, Daisy, and Ortensia only gave her looks. “Uh, Clarabelle? That’s---“

“The best kind of gossip I’ve ever come up with, right?? But I need more details. I’m going to find out if Bayonetta happens to be part of this game of Date Deception--- wanting to hook up with the father of her illegitimate child! Ooh! The National Inquirer’s got nothing on me!” With that, she took off.

The other three women looked at each other. “She _does_ know Vincent’s been dating someone for almost five years now, right?” Ortensia questioned.

“Come to think of it… how would WE know all this??” Minnie asked, befuddled. A wall crumbled somewhere.

“GAH! THE WALL CAVED IN ON ARDENT--- oh, nevermind, she’s fine.” Scoobycool9’s voice was heard off screen.

“Let’s… just… go stop Clarabelle.” Daisy said quickly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“…Seriously, you have the ability to make _everyone_ in the universe depend on you for sustaining life, but instead you decide to just wipe everything out? What, did your father not hug you as a child or something?” Doofenshmirtz was saying on his cellphone (talking to Thanos). “What---?! I am not! No, don’t you hang up on--- gaaaah, he hung up! Geez, put a guy in a whole movie series, and suddenly he thinks he’s above talking about the reasons behind his schemes!”

While the evil genius was venting to himself, Perry looked at the machine; taking off his hat, he threw it at a lever, making the machine snap its fingers, and the cage disappeared! He then karate-kicked Doofenshmirtz in the side of the face, catching him off-guard.

“So, you’ve escaped, did you? Well, I was expecting that--- I mean, it’s pretty much been a recurring thing in our encounters. You come in, I catch you, tell you about my evil plan, then at some point you escape… Well, I’m prepared this time!” Doofenshmirtz reached behind his back and pulled out a glove that looked like the one on his machine, pulling it on. “That’s right, this machine can be manually controlled! Prepare to meet your doom, Perry the Platypus!” He then made time reverse so that Perry was back in the cage! “Let’s see here… Mind, Soul, Reality, Time, Space, Power… which one can I use to—“

The fedora flung through the air and hit the same lever again; this time Perry stole the glove off Doofenshmirtz’s hand! “Oh, very clever! But I’m still by the machine!” The mad scientist then pulled the lever!

A black-hole appeared, nearly sucking in Perry; the platypus snapped his fingers, making the black-hole disappear, replacing it with a charging bull that was running towards the machine---

Doofenshmirtz hit a button that made the bull freeze in time, then pulled a lever that zapped Perry in the head, making him believe he was in Wonderland!

Perry snapped his fingers, making the illusion disappear and filled the place with ghosts! The bull let out a shriek and fled, while Doofenshmirtz pulled a lever that made a portal open and suck in all the ghosts! He then hit a button…

…which turned them into a live-action man and actual platypus.

“Augh!” The scientist hit the ‘Undo’ button on the machine, reverting them back to their original forms. Both of them gave a relieved sigh, and the battle continued!

Perry snapped his fingers while Doofenshmirtz pulled a lever---

Nothing happened.

They looked around the room. “What did we just do?”

_~Back at the House of Mouse…~_

“EVERYONE, HANG ON!” Elwynn cried as the Security Team clung to a pillar, the monster’s tendrils clinging to them as it was being sucked into a portal into the depths of space… trying to drag them with it!

*Poof!*

Suddenly the monster disappeared out of existence, the portal shutting instantly. “…the heck just happened?” Scoobycool9 sputtered.

“I have no idea…” WG replied.

“It feels like someone’s been messing with the universal balance…” Terrence sensed, looking around.

“Yeah, that tends to happen. ...I’m going on break,” Moon commented, walking off.

_~Back with Doof and Perry~_

“O-Okay, we _all know_ what this is coming down to.” Doofenshmirtz grunted, preparing to pull a lever. “One of us is going to have to make the other---!”

Perry snapped his fingers. Instantly, the Infinity-Gauntletinator faded out of existence! With it, the glove disappeared as well.

Doofenshmirtz gawked. “I was going to say ‘make the other surrender’, not disappear into oblivion! Great, just great, it took me TEN YEARS to build that thing! You know how hard it is to find the right components to make a machine that controls universally everything?!”

Perry only crossed his arms, giving him a look.

“What? What?? I-I’m not trying to play ‘God’ or anything! I just wanted to have some sort of control over humanity! I was going to give them everything on a silver-platter! Honestly, do you really think it’s best for everyone to work hard to achieve a good life and actually be happy with what they got? To cling to hope rather than just have someone make everything easy for them? No one listens to that kind of message!”

Perry tapped his foot, still looking crossed.

“Don’t give me that look! Name one reason why my evil scheme was a bad idea!”

The platypus only continued to give him a look.

“Oh, c’mon! So what if people would end up depending on me for every little thing! Always coming to me for this and that… having to make sure there was plenty to go around… never getting a moment’s peace… making them believe all their problems will just vanish in a blink of an eye when really they’d be living in a false sense of security… and eventually someone else would want to be in control and try to overthrow me, so I’d be up all night on the lookout and lose sleep… geez, not to mention how it would affect Vanessa’s internship…”

Perry put his hands on his hips.

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. “FINE, I won’t do it again! But don’t come crying to me when everyone starts criticizing you for destroying something that would have fixed the world’s problems!”

Perry merely took out his jetpack and flew off, leaving smoke in his wake as it built up in the room.

“CURSE YOU, PERRY THE *cough hack!* PLATYPUS! *cough* …And you could have stepped outside first before flying off!” Doofenshmirtz waved his hand, walking out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. “Great, great, it’s going to take a whole hour for this place to air out!”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Vincent looked at his watch, growing concerned. WG walked over. “How’s it going?” she asked--- ignoring the fact that she was stained with ooze, her clothes were shredded, and a piece of her hair was on fire.

“Fine… I’m just waiting for someone. Also, _holy shit what the hell happened to you?!”_ Vincent replied, gawking at WG’s appearance.

“Meh, usual night. Who are you meeting up with?”

“Um, I’m on a date with---“

“Wherever Girl!” Ortensia ran over. “We need your help. Clarabelle thinks that Katherine and Catherine are trying to rope Vincent into dating one of them, and she’s about to use the story in her next Word on the Street act!”

Vincent arched an eyebrow. “What the hell---?! We’re all just friends! Where did she get an idea like that?!”

“It’s _Clarabelle_ \--- last time she thought a bunch of fan-made Youtube videos were legit facts.” WG scoffed.

“She’s going on stage now! How do we distract---“ Ortensia pointed out.

“On it.”

Clarabelle was about to walk on stage… but fell through a portal. “Oof!” She cried, landing in front of them.

“Clarabelle--- listen closely. Katherine and Catherine are not after Vincent. He’s already dating someone else, and they’re all good friends. Trust me, I know.” WG strictly informed.

“How do you know?” Clarabelle scoffed.

“I’m his little sister--- in an unbiological way. Long story, I’ll spare you details. Just don’t go on stage starting a scandal.” With that, WG walked off. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to study for my ‘Frantic Expressions’ test.”

“Give me a call later, I can teach you a few tricks.” Vincent told her, sipping his soda.

Clarabelle looked back and forth at the authoress and Vincent. “Hold it! I want to hear the full story of how he’s your brother…!” she exclaimed, running after her.

At this time, a pink-haired woman came and sat down with Vincent. “Sorry I’m late, I had to go over some details with a potential client,” she stated.

“No problem, Rin. You got here just in time--- you missed the fiasco,” Vincent replied, putting his arm around her. He then looked up. “And, by the way Narrator--- Rin is a guy,”

...I-I knew that! I was just sparing everyone else from game spoilers!

“Suuuuuure,” Vincent and Rin rolled their eyes.

The couple looked onward at the stage; Mickey was introducing the night’s musical act, being Miguel and Hector from _Coco_ playing a guitar rendition of _Balada Boa._ Many people went to the dance floor immediately.

“Shall we dance?” Rin asked.

“Well, I’m not one to dance, but I managed to learn a few things from _Dancing Star Night.”_ Vincent answered, standing up with him.

“Dad… please… no…” Akira groaned, walking by while facepalming.

Vincent shrugged, stepping onto the dance floor with Rin.

…

As the night went on, the Security Team stood out front, recovering from the terror they had faced.

“Alright, Socks. What did we learn tonight?” Terrence sharply asked the Chaoslight.

“…never put chewing gum in the microwave, or bad things happen to good people…” The grendel muttered.

The Fletcher family came walking out. “Well, that wasn’t too bad a night. I was actually expecting more to happen!” Linda commented.

“Perhaps one day there will be something with plot relevance.” Ferb commented.

Phineas then noticed his platypus walk up to him, looking as ordinary as any pet. “Oh, there you are, Perry!” he exclaimed. “Boy, you missed a lot of action tonight!”

Perry merely gave his chattering growl in response.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_~Back Behind the Scenes~_

“…There. That ought to work,” Sub-Plot sighed, wiping her brow. “What do you guys think?”

“Ehhh, feels a little… Ah, it’ll fit.” Plot commented, giving a shrug.

“Great. Now c’mon, let’s get out of here.” Filler replied, standing up and stretching. They left the rewritten script on the table, turning off the lights and shutting the door behind them.

…

Chompers the goat popped up from underneath the table. He gave a “Bleet!” before eating the script.

And I think it’s best if we just end it at tha*chomp**munch**munch*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In truth, I wanted to try something different where different cameos/guests have a point-of-view of a 'usual night' at the House of Mouse. Who else will get their chance in the spotlight? We shall find out later down the road. 
> 
> Please leave a review--- Plot and his cousins worked hard on this. No flames or the goat will eat your pants. (...provided any of you are wearing any.)


	8. CALVINBALL!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A double update?? It's a fanfiction miracle, Charlie Brown!
> 
> Disclaimer: *gets hit by the Calvinball*

It was a freezing cold night at the House of Mouse. Currently, the establishment was empty; the only one there was Walter, who was on the phone with Mickey. “…No, the rest of the staff hasn’t shown up either.” He was saying. “The roads are too slick to drive on, and it’s a blizzard out there. Only a total maniac would be--- what? …Check where? …Um, okay…”

The manager went out to the lobby, where all the Security Authors stood.

“…Yes, they’re all here. …I can understand how you would know that. …I’ll handle it. See you next week,” Hanging up the phone, Walter looked at the team. “What on earth are you all doing here?? It’s -15 degrees out there! Don’t tell me you all braved this storm!”

“Not really. We were aiming to head to the _Hetalia_ universe, but the portal dropped us off here.” Elwynn replied, referring to himself, Socks and Terrence. “We decided to call Moon to see if she could open a portal there for us, since she knows the cast.”

“And I came here, prepared to open a portal… but--- *ATCHOO!*” Moon sneezed--- and suddenly her dragon-wings popped out and smacked into Socks and Terrence! “…I caught a cold… and it’s affecting my powers something awful… *sniffle*”

“…and we learned too many times never to go through portals made by a sick person…” Terrence groaned. “So we called WG.”

“I was practicing for my ‘Anime Fighting Style’ exam with Wesley, so we both came here.” WG answered. “But… if you know my portal history… I was having difficulty focusing on the Hetalia world--- particularly because I’ve never been there. So we called Zane, figuring he could use the TARDIS to take them there.”

“I was giving Kiff lessons on driving it,” Zane answered. “…unfortunately, upon arriving here, it crashed.”

“You crashed the TARDIS??” Socks laughed, looking at Kiff.

“No--- the computer system crashed! It happens when you don’t update your drivers. …but, in a way, it caused the machine to shut down and we slammed into the wall… so yes, we crashed.” Kiff coughed, sounding a little congested. “Anyway, I would have opened a portal, but my sinuses are acting up so I couldn’t hold it open for more than half a second.”

“Thus they called me. Dragongirl, Sky Flame, Tracker, Ardent, Rylo, Prynn and I were surprising Tea with some birthday presents; she was watching Fanatic play _Alien: Isolation_ … and I got freaked out by a scene and accidentally made too big of a portal underneath us, landing us here. My amulet fell off and rolled off somewhere.”

“…and now it’s going to take a whole hour for me to get back to where I was…” Fanatic muttered, crossing his arms.

“And I’m just here because I forgot my car keys.” Scoobycool9 answered. “…I found my keys, but I lost my wand in the process.”

Walter blinked. “So you’re all just hanging out here for the night?” he asked--- then quickly looked at Tea. “And happy birthday, Tea.”

“Why not? Until the snow clears or someone’s travel-based powers get working, we’re stuck here for a while. …Also, thank you!” Tea answered.

“Hey! Is someone else out there?” called a voice; everyone looked over and saw Kamoshida walking out; with him were Dan and Pinkie Pie.

“Kamo-chan! What are you doing here??” ATF exclaimed.

“Right now regretting parking my car out back. I figured I would get here early before the weather got too bad--- the report said it was supposed to clear up by 7,” He looked out the window, scowling. “…I hope that weatherman gets fired.”

“And Dan and I broke into the basement looking for something he could use to get revenge onmmmff!” Pinkie Pie was exclaiming, until Dan covered her mouth.

“SHUSH! …Eh heh, w-we were just on a walk and needed to get out of the snow!” Dan lied.

“Who in their right minds would be walking out in this weather?!” Puggsy scoffed, walking over. Swaine was at his side.

“…You mean besides you, Dad?” Kiff remarked. “What are you doing here? (boy, we’re asking that a lot.)”

“I’m your father, I’m always nearby. …Also, you forgot your sinus medicine,” He held up a little medicine bottle.

“And your coincidental reason, Swaine?” Zane asked.

“I’ve been working on a way to use my gun to create its own Gateway. I got the idea from _Portal 2._ …Unfortunately, it took me to the last place I was before, and since my gun isn’t capable of basic spells it fell apart.” He held up his gun--- the barrel had fallen off.

“Oh, gee, that’s too bad.” WG replied in feigned sympathy.

“Don’t worry…” Swaine opened his jacket, showing he had 4 more pistols; he gave her a vicious grin. “I carry extras.”

“You know what, I’m sure it’s not too bad out. My apartment is just across the street, so we can stay there for a bit…” Walter began to suggest, walking over and pulling open the doors.

…Finding 15 feet of snow blocked the doorway.

“Ehh, no offense, Walter, but I don’t think anyone would be crazy enough to go out in _that_.” Ardent commented.

“Wait for it!” Fanatic said, looking at his watch.

“Huh?”

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!” came an increasing scream from outside.

*CRASH!*

“My cabbages!” A street vendor outside cried.

*SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

*Screeeeech*

*Thunk*

Everyone stood back as Calvin and Hobbes slid in on their toboggan, bursting out of the wall of snow, careening through the entryway, and bumping into a pillar. There were dozens of frozen cabbages on their sled. “…Calvin?” Hobbes spoke.

“Yeah?” Calvin replied.

“…I think we passed your house… by 5 miles.”

“Are there any other cameos we should expect?” Sky Flame asked WG and Fanatic.

The kitchen doors opened and Joshua Phrygianos walked out with a tray full of mugs. “Who ordered the hot chocolate?” he hollered--- and immediately got swarmed! When the dust cleared, he was frazzled, someone took a bite out of the tray, and there were mini-marshmallows left in his fluffy hair. “…y-y-you’re welcome…” He then fell backwards.

“…I think that’s it.” WG replied with a shrug.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Everyone sat in the dining room… huddled around a single lit candle in the dark.

“Wait, we still have electricity! Why are we all crowding around a candle like a bunch of pilgrims?!” Kamoshida demanded.

“For authenticity, Kamo! For authenticity!” Pinkie Pie retorted.

“We can’t just sit around and wait for the snow to clear! Some of us have important things to do!” Dan complained, then muttered under his breath. “…wanna make sure I’m stocked on dynamite when that bastard shows his face again.”

“It might be a while. We might as well just play some cartoons on the big screen and raid the kitchen,” Swaine replied.

“Like hell you will! I just spent the whole afternoon going over inventory!” Joshua snapped.

“Plus, I don’t have the keys to the projection room. And we forgot to order new reels so all the cartoons tonight were going to be reruns,” Walter answered.

“Well, what else are we supposed to do in a night-club with wide-range of space, a basement full of all kinds of loony equipment, and the only thing to play with on-hand being a volleyball someone brought in?” Rylo questioned, holding up the latter.

“Give me that.” Kamoshida sneered, taking his ball back.

A lightbulb appeared over Calvin’s head just then.

“AUGH! ME EYES!” WG cried, since the light-bulb was pretty darn bright in the still-dark room.

“TURN IT OFF! I’M BLIND!” Fanatic yelled.

Hobbes clicked off the light. “What’s your idea?” he asked, blinking a few times as he and everyone else were seeing spots.

“I have an idea on how we can pass the time…” Calvin said with a grin.

“Should we be concerned?” Ardent asked.

“Lay it on us, Cal.” Moon encouraged.

Calvin hopped into the air. “CALVINBALL!”

ATF flipped the table. “By golly, that’s BRILLIANT!” he exclaimed.

“Did… did you really have to flip the table?” Prynn asked.

“What’s Calvinball?” Walter asked, intrigued.

“Only the greatest sport that hasn’t become an Olympic event yet!” Fanatic replied in an obvious tone, turning to the others. “C’mon! Let’s go down to the basement and find all kinds of sporting equipment that will not be used in a professional manner!”

“Awesome! I haven’t been part of a Calvinball tournament since our last trip to Arda!” Socks exclaimed.

“You guys play it in your universe too??” Hobbes asked, bewildered.

“It’s a sport where everything is made up and you can’t play the same way twice—of course we play it!” Terrence replied, then turned to Elwynn. “…I would’ve won it last time, if Bugoff hadn’t landed me in the Corollary Zone.”

“Well, this time we’re playing it in this universe--- so let the insanity begin!” Elwynn declared.

“I’ll make the masks!” Kiff volunteered.

“We have to wear masks? Why?” Wesley asked.

“Sorry, no one is allowed to question the masks, m’dude. Now let’s set up!” Rylo exclaimed.

All the Authors, Walter, Calvin and Hobbes took off. “Hey, wait for us!” Pinkie Pie called, grabbing Dan.

“I don’t want to play some stupid--- GAH!” Dan began to protest, but was yanked offscreen.

The remaining cameos sat there, befuddled. “…We’re going to end up playing whether we want to or not, aren’t we?” Swaine deadpanned.

“Yep.” Puggsy bluntly confirmed.

“Hey, I’m actually looking forward to it. It’s the one game where hitting someone in the face with a volleyball isn’t a penalty!” Kamoshida replied with a grin, taking off.

“*sigh* It’s better than the anime I originally come from… It’s better than the anime I originally come from…” Joshua told himself, rubbing his temples as he walked offscreen.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Within minutes, the entire dining room had the tables cleared, and different crochet-poles, little cardboard boxes, and traffic cones were scattered in various spots; the pillars were labeled as ‘goal posts’; and different sporting equipment such as baseball bats, crochet mallets, tennis rackets, hockey sticks, and what-have-you were on hand. Everyone wore the traditional Calvinball masks.

“Lol. Hey. Guys. You think if Kamoshida tore off his mask, he would summon a Persona?” ATF asked jokingly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. …He needs to go through his ‘Awakening’ first!” Kiff scoffed, rolling his arms and crossing his eyes--- I mean… ah, you get it.

“Okay, I know we haven’t started yet--- but NO making Phantom Thief references while we wear the masks!” Kamoshida snapped.

“Kill joy,” Zane sneered.

“So… how do we start this game?” Wesley asked.

“With the Calvinball Anthem, of course!” Calvin answered. “You guys can harmonize with Hobbes, I’ll sing the lyrics.”

“Oh dear Lord…” Swaine sighed, facepalming.

“Wait, what genre is the song in?” Scoobycool9 questioned. “Show tunes? Country? Hard rock? Rap?”

“I would believe that since it’s Calvinball, the anthem can be sung in any genre,” WG shrugged. “Otherwise, I don’t think it matters.”

“Readers, go ahead and imagine the following lyrics in whatever genre you want.” Fanatic replied.

“I’m going to imagine it as a jazz number!” ATF exclaimed.

“Screamo rock,” Zane said with a shrug.

“Irish drinking song!” Prynn gleefully cried. Everyone looked at her. “…What? They’re catchy!”

“Hit it, Calvin!” Hobbes exclaimed.

Calvin then began to dance and sing:

_“Other kids’ games are such a bore!_

_They’ve gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!_

_Calvinball is better by far!_

_It’s never the same! It’s always bizarre!_

_You don’t need a team or a referee!_

_You know that it’s great ‘cuz it’s named after me!_

_If you wanna grab a mask and play along_

_Come join in at the end of the song!”_

“So how do we play, again?” Dan questioned with indifference.

“Simple--- you make up the rules as you go and you can’t play the same way twice.” Socks replied… then held up the volleyball. “Also, I HAVE THE CALVINBALL! Everyone has to scatter and touch a goal post, and only 2 people can touch a goal at a time! First ones who reach the stage without getting hit gets the ball next!” With that, he lit the ball on fire!

“Whoa! Hey! New rule! NO setting the Calvinball on fire!” Hobbes shouted.

“Dang it!” Socks retracted his blue fire--- the ball disobeying the laws of physics and being in perfect condition.

“Dang it!” Moon, WG, and Sky Flame sneered.

“What’s wrong with that rule?!” Calvin scoffed. “That’s cool!”

“Because I doubt anyone who plays Calvinball wants to end up with 3rd degree burns!” Hobbes answered, crossing his arms. “…that, and it wouldn’t be long before someone dropped the ‘Great Balls of Fire’ pun and get hit.”

“Well then you better hope no one wanders into the Reproving Running Gag Region!”

Kamoshida and Swaine both grinned with mischief.

“Speaking of running… RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, HOMIES! SOCKS AIN’T SHOWING MERCY!” Socks exclaimed.

“Augh!” Everyone screamed, and everyone either ran or flew to a pillar!

Socks didn’t hesitate, throwing the Calvinball and hitting Scoobycool9. “New rule! If you get hit, you can’t move until someone says your name backwards! While spinning!”

Rylo began to spin. “9loocyboocS!” he called… and got hit with the Calvinball next. “Dammit!”

“There is no way I’m playing this--- OW!” Dan began to state, until he was hit with the ball next.

Swaine ran and touched a pillar; Prynn popped up on the other side. “Hi, Swaine!” she exclaimed.

“Yikes!” The thief then ran over to the next pillar, only to see it was occupied by Sky Flame and Kiff. He ran to the next one where Ardent stood, but Kamoshida beat him to it! He ran diagonally to the next pillar… only to trip over a cone. “Dammit!”

Socks loomed over him, preparing to hit him.

“Wait! You can’t hit me!”

“Why not?” Socks asked.

“Because… um… I’m in the—the--- The Immunity Zone! Therefore, I don’t get hit with the Calvinball until I’m three feet away!”

“…Wow, you caught on fast.” Rylo commented.

“Hey, Socks!” Terrence called, having reached the stage and waved to him. “Guess whose turn it is to have the Calvinball!”

“Touché, m’dudes. Touché.” Socks replied, tossing the ball to Terrence.

“Alright, new rule--- everyone wearing black has to hop around on one foot until they fall over, and everyone has to look for the Mystery Box!” He then looked at Elwynn with a smirk. “And those with blue hair and big muscles have to join me in the closet while everyone is searching,”

Elwynn blushed and grinned. “Terry, c’mon, we just begun the game!” he whispered while giggling.

“Ha ha, well, I’m ready for a quick ‘time out’.”

*BONK!*

“PG Penalty! Go to Horny Jail!” Wesley declared after bonking the Colmare on the head with a pool cue. He then pointed over at a box in the corner that said ‘Horny Jail’.

“What does that mean?” Calvin asked… while jumping on one foot.

“Remember when you were staying home sick from school, and were watching that TV show about a couple having an affair and wanted to murder their spouses?” Moon replied, also jumping on one foot. “Basically it involves that.”

“Murdering people??”

“…No. The smooching parts.”

“Oh. …EW!”

Terrence grumbled and stood in the box. “When can I get out?” he asked.

“When your spouse hits a hockeypuck against a pillar… while blindfolded!” Sky Flame made up.

Elwynn put on the blindfold and--- while hopping on one foot--- hit a hockeypuck clear across the room and bounced off one of the pillars!

*CRASH!*

…aaaand smashed right through one of the windows. “…Bonus points?” he chuckled nervously.

“I found the Mystery Box!” Fanatic declared--- holding up a box that was painted like The Mystery Machine. “It was in the Bilingual Zone! Everyone now has to speak Japanese! …And those who speak Japanese professionally--- speak Spanish!”

“Oh for the love of---“ Swaine began to state. WG elbowed him. He sighed. “Oh, por el amor de Dios…”

“日本語やスペイン語を知らない人がいらしたら?” Scoobycool9 asked.

“Que?” Joshua asked.

“日本語やスペイン語を知らない人がいらしたら?”

“Lo siento, no hablo japones muy bien.”

Kamoshida looked at Joshua incredulously. “... ¡¿Hablas en serio?!” he questioned.

“¡Acabo de tocar el Cono de Traducción! ¡Todo el mundo puede hablar inglés ahora!” Dragongirl called while standing on a cone. “Translation: I just touched the Translation Cone! Everyone can speak English now!”

“Thank goodness--- because apparently, Joshua doesn’t understand very much Japanese!” Kamoshida scoffed.

“It’s pretty much the reason why I didn’t appear in the anime very much.” Joshua replied with a shrug.

“Now where do we take this game?” Walter asked with a chuckle.

“Let’s see… I got it! We fill up a bunch of water balloons and throw them at everyone holding a baseball bat! If someone can hit a water balloon without it bursting, they get to throw it at someone else! Last one dry gets to be a Ten Minute Tyrant!” Calvin announced.

“Ten minute tyrant, eh?” Dan repeated, rubbing his chin with malicious intent.

“But where are we going to get---“ Tea began to ask… until Calvin held up a whole box of water balloons. “…never mind.”

Everyone split up--- half the cast grabbed a bat, the other half grabbed a water balloon. Immediately the water balloons went flying and the bats started swinging! A few burst on contact, others managed to bounce off and splash on the floor.

Dan chuckled to himself, preparing to swing his bat--- but he missed and the balloon burst against him. “Argh!” he snarled.

“Sorry, Dan!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, before grabbing another water balloon.

“I got this!” Kamoshida exclaimed as Puggsy threw a water balloon at him; it bounced off and hit Moon.

“A-A-ATCHOO!” Moon sneezed--- and electricity shot out from her and hit the gym teacher, Puggsy, ATF, and Kiff, leaving them singed and their hair sticking out in all directions.

“…I should’ve seen that coming… *cough*” Puggsy wheezed.

“Is anyone else hearing colors?” Kiff asked. He got hit with a water balloon! “Hey! RYLO!”

“Strike one, ha ha!” Rylo chuckled.

Eventually everyone was soaked... save for Prynn. “Ooh! I get to be a tyrant for ten minutes!” she gasped in excitement.

“This shouldn’t be too bad,” Zane said with a shrug.

“I hereby decree… Everyone has to wear pretty princess gowns!”

“…spoke too soon.”

*Poof!*

Waving her wand, Prynn had everyone in the room wearing beautiful ballgowns. “Gah!/Augh!/Not again/Oh c’mon!/YAAAH!/Ooh, this color really brings out my eyes!/What the hell?!/Eek!/Seriously?/Oh for fuck’s sake!/I love it!” Most of the guys shouted.

“…You monster.” WG groused to Prynn.

“Hey, can I give this to Antonia?” Socks asked, pointing to his dress.

“Sure!” Prynn answered.

“Sweet! Thanks!”

“Uh, how long to we have to wear these dresses?” Wesley asked.

“For the next ten minutes. …OOOOOOR, unless someone gets on stage and sings the first song that pops into their head!”

*Stampede noise*

Everyone ran to the stage… save for ATF and Pinkie Pie, who were looking at themselves in a mirror. “Hmm, I dunno… I think I would look better in a deep green. Or red. Maybe blue? Though purple seems to suit me…” The immortal teen was saying.

“I’m keeping mine!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Everyone stood on the stage. “Okay! Who got on stage first?” Prynn asked, walking over. Puggsy raised his hand. “What song were you thinking of?”

“Nirvana’s _Smells Like Teen Spirit,”_ Puggsy said with a grin, crossing his arms.

“It was not!” Moon scoffed, being a mind reader ‘n’ stuff.

“Was too!”

“Was not!” Kiff piped up with a grin.

“It was! Seriously!”

“Oh, it was not!” Terrence replied.

“Puggsy… Sing the song you were thinking of!” Walter coaxed.

Puggsy grumbled. “…fine… But everyone has to join in!”

“Fair enough,” Prynn said with a nod.

The short teen took a breath, and began to sing…

**_Puggsy:_ ** _~ If all of the kings kept their queens on a throne_

_We would pop champagne and raise a toast_

**_With everyone:_ ** _~To all of the queens who are fighting alone_

_Baby you’re not dancing on your own!~_

Prynn smiled and clapped. “I love it! Okay, everyone who doesn’t want to wear a dress may change back,” she declared, raising her wand.

“Thank God… I feel ridiculous in this princess getup,” Kamoshida muttered.

“Better than when you dressed as a king,” Zane quipped, earning a glare.

“And for the next five minutes, I declare… A game of hide and seek! Ardent, Tea, Scoobycool9, Dragongirl, Sky Flame and Zane get to be the seekers. Everyone can hide anywhere they want in the club EXCEPT the basement… and whoever gets found gets banished to the Vortex Zone!” Prynn announced. “Everyone cover your eyes and count to 130!”

“Wheeeee, this is fun! Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she ran to find a good hiding place. She was yanked around the corner by Dan.

“Pssst! Pinkie, c’mon! While all these weirdoes are playing their game, let’s go down to the basement!” Dan whispered.

“But, Dan! We can’t go down there! It’s against the rule!”

“Rules schmules! I have a revenge scheme to carry out! I can’t waste time playing some kiddy game! Are you going to help me out or what?”

Pinkie Pie crossed her arms. “Not until we’re done playing Calvinball!”

“I didn’t even want to play in the first place!”

She gave him a hard look. “Listen, Dan, it wouldn’t kill you to at least TRY to unwind and have a little fun rather than focus on vengeance all the time! Eventually you’re going to burn yourself out, make things worse for everyone INCLUDING yourself, and realize how pointless and empty revenge can leave you!”

“So?”

She scratched her head, thinking for a moment. She grinned. “PLUS… whoever wrecked your car is OBVIOUSLY expecting you to come after them! Give it time to let their anxiety pass, then when they’re least expecting it… BAM! You get them back! Lay low for a while--- and they won’t be expecting you to be playing a game~”

Dan considered this. “Huh. That does make sense… Chances are, they’re bracing themselves for my vengeance at this moment!” He looked at Pinkie Pie, who was giving him an eager look. He sighed, rolling his face. “Fine… But only for a few more minutes!”

“YAY! C’mon, I know a great spot!” With that, Pinkie Pie dragged him off.

“Yeow! Watch it before you yank my arm out of the socket!”

…

Scoobycool9 and Zane started their search backstage. “Hey, I gotta ask. Aren’t you bothered by the fact that WG is pretty much switching between you and Wesley on a weekly basis?” Scoobycool9 asked--- looking behind the curtain.

“A little… but at the same time, Wesley and I had been the same person, so it wouldn’t be fair to either of us, much less would put a lot of pressure on our girlfriend, to make her choose right off the bat. So, we decided that each week we would have a turn, and in time she can decide which one of us she feels closer to.” Zane answered--- while looking inside a crate. “Found you ATF!”

“Dang it!” ATF grumbled, heading back to the dining area.

“That’s pretty mature of you… Okay, what’s the LEGIT reason?” Scoobycool9 questioned, hands on his hips.

Zane rolled his eyes. “…We both played every kind of combat videogame, Vanguard, Yu-Gi-Oh!, a game of ‘Chicken’ on rocket scooters, and 50 rounds of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’… but kept ending up in a tie.” He confessed.

“I see--- also, found you Hobbes!” Scoobycool9 looked up, where Hobbes was hanging on to the rafter.

“Wow. You guys are good!” The tiger admitted, dropping back down and heading to the dining area.

Scoobycool9 turned to Zane. “But for reals, Zane. You and Wesley need to come to terms with your relationship with WG, before someone gets hurt.”

“I know… But for now, how about we see who else we can send to the Vortex Zone?”

“Right--- Calvinball first, relationship-based filler later. Alonsey!” With that Scoobcool9 ran ahead.

“Hey! That’s OUR word!” Zane raced after him.

…

Prynn hid underneath the desk out front. “…Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know this spot was taken!” she gasped, seeing Wesley hiding underneath as well.

“I don’t mind sharing, c’mon in.” Wesley replied, scooting over. “I figured you’d be hiding with your prince,”

“I tried--- but he ran inside the Men’s Room.”

Wesley snapped his fingers. “Darn! I should’ve gone with that idea!”

“What about you? I would think you would be hiding with WG, since you two are dating this week.”

“Nah, she’s not into ‘couple stuff’ like that. Plus, since she’s so small, she has more hiding options--- I’d just be in the way,”

Prynn hugged her knees. “By the way… How do you feel about your relationship? Doesn’t it bother you having to share her?”

“In a way… but keep in mind, Zane and I were once the same person, so we both share feelings for WG. …I suppose you would think it would be unfair to her, feeling caught in a love-triangle.”

“Not really. I was part of WG before too, I can understand how much pressure she feels when it comes to big decisions like this. She doesn’t want to break anyone’s heart, and is also worried she might make a mistake.”

“Make a mistake? How so?”

“Well, maybe she’ll choose one of you--- while the other ends up feeling rejected, the one she chooses might not be the one she truly loves.” Prynn looked ahead. “Romance is a fickle thing like that, I suppose. You think it’s all about love, but it also includes fear and uncertainty, alongside courage and hope.”

Wesley smiled at her. “You really are a fount of wisdom, aren’t you?”

She blushed. “I’m just telling you what I believe.”

“It’s certainly food for thought,” Ardent spoke, looking under the desk and catching the two off-guard. “And also, found you two! Off to the Vortex Zone!”

“Drat. …What do we do in the Vortex Zone?” Wesley asked.

“Simple--- you spin around until you get so dizzy you fall down, or until someone hits you with the Calvinball!” Prynn answered, walking ahead of him.

“Oh. …Fun.”

…

“ah… ah… ATCHOO!”

*FWOOSH!*

*BOOM!*

The door to the supply room blew off… revealing Moon, Socks, Joshua, and Calvin. “Okay. So… hiding in a room stocked with flammable cleaning supplies with a sick elemental girl who can turn into a dragon? Bad idea.” The Chaoslight coughed.

“No shit,” Joshua groused, putting out a teeny flame on the doink atop his head.

Sky Flame swooped in. “I FOUND MOON, SOCKS, JOSHUA AND CALVIN!” he called… despite Dragongirl was right beside him.

“I’m right here, you don’t need to shout!” Dragongirl sneered.

“Sorry. Alright, everyone go start spinning until you throw up!”

“I might do that even before I start spinning… *hurk!*” Moon ran into the girl’s restroom.

Next door in the boy’s restroom, Puggsy, Kiff, and Rylo hid in the handicapped stall. “Here, take your medicine while we got a spare minute,” The meddling-kid told his hybrid son.

“Heh, you act like I’m still a little kid,” Kiff commented, doing as he was told. He nodded over at Rylo. “By the way, this kid is living next to us. His name’s Rylo, and he wants to help us take out Bate and torment Umbridge,”

“Great! I hate that witch,” Puggsy arched an eyebrow. “But, I don’t remember seeing anyone move in next door. Who’re your parents?”

“I-It’s just me living next door. I’m just really short for my age--- it runs in my family.” Rylo answered with a shrug. “And… I don’t really want to talk about any family matters. I kind of had a big argument with my dad the last time I saw him,”

“Really? What about?” Kiff asked.

“Ah, he just didn’t think I was taking my life seriously enough. …It wasn’t until the last time I dealt with Bate that I realized how concerned he was for my safety, no matter how capable I was.” He looked at the two. “I’m hoping when I see my dad again, he’ll notice I’ve changed… I want to let him know how much I love him.”

“Wow… a lot of shit must have gone down after your fight. Where did you come from?” Puggsy inquired.

Rylo pretended to think. “Well, it all started after my mommy and daddy got married…”

Puggsy rolled his eyes. “Forget I asked.”

*HUUURRRLLL!*

*POW!*

The three of them jumped, watching as a ball of plasma blew out the wall between the two restrooms! Moon wiped her mouth. Dragongirl came rushing in. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked.

“Yeah… though, for the sake of the club’s insurance, I better avoid the Vortex Zone,” Moon replied, rubbing her head.

“Good call,” Dragongirl looked over. “Speaking of which, found you guys!”

“Yeah. We know.” Puggsy deadpanned, walking out with Kiff.

“…I love this game,” Rylo said to the audience, walking out next.

…

WG ran and ducked behind a broom leaning against the wall--- doing that thing where a cartoon can hide behind a thin object. Ardent walked by and opened up a closet… finding Elwynn and Terrence hiding in there--- and wrapped around each other. “Yeesh! Can’t you guys wait until after the game??” she cringed.

“I told you they would find us here,” Terrence quipped to Elwynn.

“Then next time find a hiding spot with soundproof walls,” Elwynn joked back, before the two of them left.

Ardent walked on. WG waited until the coast was clear, before running and hiding behind a set of collapsible stands. She scooted back hearing footsteps, only for someone to tap her on the shoulder. “Gah---mmf!”

“Shh!” Kamoshida shushed after stifling her yelp. Both of them stayed quiet, watching as Scoobycool9 passed by.

“…This reminds me of a dream I had about us once--- only rather than hide and seek, we were hiding from either cultists or zombies,” WG commented.

“Neither of those things sound less dangerous than a crazy team of Authors,” Kamoshida replied. “…I saw you duck behind that broom. I didn’t think you knew how to do that,”

“It was on one of my exams--- the ol’ ‘Hide Behind A Thin Object’ trick. …It’s actually really easy when you’re small for your height.”

“I’m surprised you don’t just use your portal abilities and go to another hiding spot.”

“Oh, please--- that would be cheating. Plus, I’d end up in Croatia or something based on my concentration,”

“I see. …So, how goes the citizenship tests?”

“Fine. I’m just hoping I pass. Who knew living in the toon-world had so many requirements??”

Kamoshida itched the side of his face. “You know… I know a way to help you stay here—without having to have a work-visa or take any more tests.”

She shook her head. “No thanks. I gotta do this on my own. Thanks for the offer, though.”

He gave her a look. “Are you saying that because you’re independent, or because you think I’m up to some shady business?”

“Hey, you never know what those Censors might pull. If you try to give me an easy-way in, they’ll probably find a way to get me deported AND send you to prison. …Changing the subject, but how are the kids?”

“Good, good. I left them with some reliable babysitters.”

_~At Kamoshida’s House…~_

Junpei, Ryuji, and Kanji were tied up as the gym teacher’s daughters, Mei and Sayori, gave them makeovers, and his infant-son Andre teethed on Kanji’s shoe.

“Well? How else were we going to get a cameo in this chapter?” Junpei said to the audience.

“WHEN did Kamoshida say he was going to be home, again?” Kanji groaned.

“Hopefully after we’re done playing ‘Hostage Makeover’…” Ryuji muttered.

_~Back at the club~_

…WG and Kamoshida were stifling snickers. “I don’t think we were supposed to see that!” the authoress snickered.

“No. No we weren’t!” Kamoshida chuckled.

“Aha! Found you!” Zane exclaimed, peeking in. “What’s so funny?”

“I’ll tell you on the way to the Vortex Zone,” WG answered as they walked out.

Kamoshida began to follow… but was pulled aside, Swaine giving him a glare. “Tell me… exactly how do you plan on ‘helping’ WG stay in the tooniverse?” the thief demanded.

“What? I just don’t want to lose my best babysitter. Do you really think I’m up to something malicious?” Kamoshida scoffed.

“I just know when someone’s up to something… And you look like the type who’s hiding something.”

“Tch. That’s the kettle calling the pot black. FYI, I’m only a villain _in the game;_ unlike most scoundrels, I don’t make the role I had to play my real identity. Now c’mon, we got a game to finish.” With that, he walked onward.

Swaine only watched him go, his suspicions not faltering.

“…Found you.” Scoobycool9 said, poking the thief.

“I’m aware!”

*smooch smooch smooch smooch*

Both paused, walking over to a closet and opening it… finding Tea and Fanatic. The two paused, looking at them. “Eh heh… Found Fanatic!” Tea exclaimed.

Swaine turned and walked onward. “…the Faycare Arc made more sense than this…” he muttered to himself.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Walter was the last one found… having been hiding behind Dan and Pinkie Pie, who had been hiding behind a curtain. After everyone in the Vortex Zone had spun and either fallen down or got clocked by the Calvinball, everyone continued with the game.

Currently, everyone was running backwards, as someone hit the ‘Reverse Pole’ with a football.

“Swaine, Puggsy, Kamoshida, Joshua and Calvin are in the ‘Fan-Girl’ Zone! All fangirls get to tackle them!” Moon exclaimed… and turned into a Night Fury and pinned Calvin.

“WHOA! HEY! GET OFF ME! HELP! I’M GONNA GET DRAGON COOTIES!” Calvin cried.

“What the--- AUGH!” Swaine cried as he was tackled by Prynn!

“Sorry!” Prynn giggled, hugging him.

Puggsy shook his head—only to get tackled by Elwynn! “OOF! HEY!”

“Dude, I’m married to you in another universe! You should’ve seen it coming!” Elwynn laughed.

“But you ain’t a girl! …Are ya?”

“Doesn’t matter! Also, I’m my own fan so INCOMING!” Terrence exclaimed, and landed on them next!

“GAH! MY SPLEEN!”

Kamoshida laughed, until he looked over. “Oh no--!” he yelped before getting tackled by ATF! “GET OFF ME!”

“Who made up the Fangirl Zone?!” Calvin demanded. He paused, looking at Hobbes who was rolling his eyes and whistling innocently. “New rule--- EVERYONE TACKLE THE TIGER!”

“Eep!” Hobbes cried, as everyone chased after him! He then tapped a pole. “I touched the Sharp Turn Pole! Everyone has to turn quick!”

Everyone did so--- some colliding with others, some tripping over wickets, and ATF hit a pillar.

“WG! Look out! You running right into the ‘Reproving Running Gag’ zone!” Pinkie Pie hollered.

“Too late!” Swaine exclaimed, not hesitating to whip out one of his (still working) pistols.

*BANG! BANG! BANG!*

“OUCH! OW! AH!” WG exclaimed, dropping to the ground and playing dead. “Aaaaahhhhh, he GOT me!”

“HOLD IT! That was THREE trick-shots in one go!” Wesley snapped.

“No, it was a ‘Tri-Shot’--- it includes 3 rapid rounds in one shot, so it still counts as a single Trick Shot!” Swaine argued.

“It still counts as three!”

“It counts as one!”

“Three!”

“One!”

“Oh for crying out--- Kiff! We need a verdict! Does a Tri-Shot count as 3 shots or 1?”

Kiff looked at a guidebook; he blew a whistle and raised his arm on Swaine’s side. “It counts as one!” he declared.

“Ha! Swaine laughed in Wesley’s face. In retort, his unofficial twin shot him in the foot with his Sonic Shotgun. “OW! OUCH! HEY! RED FLAG! NO UNAUTHORIZED SHOOTING ON THE PLAYING FIELD!”

“Anyone else getting tired of this game?” Puggsy muttered… before slipping on a mislaid golf ball and ended up falling into a barrel, getting stuck! “Where did the barrel come from?!”

“Is that the Barrel of Something-or-Other?” Scoobycool9 asked.

“No… the Barrel of Something-or-Other is over there. That’s just a regular barrel.” Ardent answered.

Terrence tried to pull Puggsy out--- but the effort caused his counterpart pain. He was stuck too tight! “We’re gonna have to bustify it off ya.” The Colmare stated. “Anyone know a good way to break open a barrel?”

“I know a guy!” ATF declared… and opened a portal, having Donkey Kong drop in!

“…I thought you lost your amulet!” Walter questioned.

“I found it by the Invisible Zone. Ironic, ne?”

“Have at it, big guy.” Fanatic told Donkey Kong.

“Okay!” Donkey Kong said with a thumbs up, picking up the barrel Puggsy was in.

“No! No no no no nononono!” The short teen cried--- and was thrown towards the window! “AAAA---!”

**[Freezeframe on Puggsy five inches from the window]**

**_We’ll Be Right Back!_ **

**_…_ **

Elwynn, after pausing time, walked over and simply plucked Puggsy out of the barrel, setting him off to the side. He then looked at the ‘We’ll Be Right Back!’ caption on the screen, squirted it with some Windex, and wiped it off. He then snapped his fingers, making time resume so that an empty barrel hit the wall.

“How…?! When…?! WHAT?!” Puggsy sputtered, clearly shaken.

“Don’t worry! I messed with time so you wouldn’t suffer any injuries,” Elwynn replied, patting his head.

He gave a deadpanned look. “Great… can you rewind it to before I pissed myself?”

“Yep!” Elwynn aimed at his pants--- making a wet spot shrink and disappear.

“AUGH!” Pugs covered himself. “It---! You---! GAAAAAAH!” He then ran into the bathroom.

“You’re welcome!”

“Hey everyone, look!” Walter called, looking out the (newly broken) window. “It stopped snowing!”

“And it looks like they’ve cleared the streets,” Wesley said, though with less enthusiasm.

“And I don’t feel sick anymore,” Moon added, a bit underwhelmed.

“…so… I guess this means… we can go home now.” Fanatic realized, a bit downhearted.

“Yeah.” Hobbes added, not too excited either.

“It IS pretty late… I really need to get home to my kids.” Kamoshida murmured.

“Same here--- Jeffrey is probably spitting acid everywhere!” ATF stated.

“Yeah… too bad we can’t, I dunno, maybe invite more people here, and play just a little longer?” Scoobycool9 stated/suggested.

The whole group exchanged looks.

“I’ll call Mickey and the others!” Walter exclaimed.

“I’ll call The Creepypastas and Gravity Falls cast!” Moon added.

“I’ll call Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Discord, Big Mac, The Cutie Mark Crusaders--- Ooh! And Princess Celestia! She and Princess Luna will LOVE this---!” Pinkie Pie rambled on.

“I’ll call more cameos!” Fanatic cried in delight.

“I’ll call my daughters!” Kamoshida exclaimed.

Calvin and Hobbes looked at each other, grinning. “Wow! An All-Night Calvinball Tournament! This is one for the History Books!” Calvin stated.

“We’re gonna need a LOT of masks,” Hobbes concurred. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Seriously. Calvinball should be an Olympic sport.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are welcome!


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